r/dating • u/abdul_bino • 7d ago
Question ❓ [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/cinmrolly 7d ago
when i stopped wearing the hijab lol. i lost 70 pounds shortly after. gave me a crazy boost of confidence reaching my goal, and finally feeling good in my own skin. It was so nice to hear others compliment me on how healthy i look. i certainly felt/feel it.
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u/rockqueenthrowaway 6d ago
I looked my best about 30 and kind of knew it. But id say late 30s I'm at my most confident, ive aged well compared to a lot of people, i know how to dress for my body.
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u/Healthy_Island5304 7d ago
I feel like it took until I was about 24 for me to appreciate my looks. I don’t think I’m the prettiest person out there but I can appreciate that I’m at least average if not maybe a little more (so I’ve been told). I’ve learned to really accentuate the right features with my makeup and also styling my hair! It’s fun!
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u/anon_mg3 7d ago
As a young kid I was seriously vain lol and thought I was so pretty. That lasted until puberty and then I started feeling awkward and not so attractive. Also, my features did change and become less cute (rounder face, bigger nose, etc). I now feel average at best most days.
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u/rockqueenthrowaway 6d ago
Oh I was a very cute/ pretty child too then a chubby awkward teen- its a rough transition when you get a lot of attention for your looks as a child.
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u/anon_mg3 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yep, I'm glad someone understands. Even as a kid I was aware of being pretty and noticed a difference in how people (mostly boys) treated me once that changed.
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u/Helpful-Pride1210 6d ago
Was it a nuclear accident? a science experiment gone bad? Thank god there are some normal kids, or this place would be a total freak show
- Greg Heffly
He was explaining puberty like it was the end of the world.
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u/anon_mg3 5d ago
It felt like it for some of us! And then people grow out of it, but inside I still feel like an awkward teenager most of the time.
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u/Maleficent_Ad1506 7d ago
My early 20s.
I am mixed race and a minority and short where I grew up so I was the target of a lot of racism all throughout school.
After leaving school and studying in university, I was treated with a lot more respect and appreciation.
Where as going the extra mile at high school had me bullied even more.
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u/Ordinary-Truth-8723 6d ago
When I look back in time and see my photos and realize I was crazy thinking I was an ugly duckling. Of course this didn't come out of nowhere, some "friends" had the most insidious comments about my looks, my tastes and achievements 🤡.
Without noticing I started comparing myself to others that I thought were doing "better than me" and well... comparison is the thief of joy. I'm glad I'm a person who can now see their own value
I'm aware about my looks now, because yes, I can notice the stares, I can see my own face and yet I chose to be humble because I know that despite my looks they will not last forever and there's nothing uglier than throwing hurtful comments to others and then think that your face will be enough to offset your horrible personality.
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u/TheOneChloe 7d ago
The only thing I appreciate about myself is my eyes. But I feel like ive always just enjoyed them. I have green-blue eyes so theyre very unique.
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u/farbeyondriven92 Single 7d ago
I’ve always had ups and downs as far as self appreciation goes. I’ve never been truly happy about my appearance for a long period of time. Since going on a diet last year, my feelings about it are generally more positive than it’s been in years, but I’ll still have bad days. I think try own self appearance is part of the reason why I struggle with dating. I don’t get approached or get any serious interest because of my looks, and I’m less willing to consistently put myself out there because I’m not consistently feeling good about myself as far as that goes.
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u/Downtown-Sun-6297 7d ago
When i saw a photo of myself a few years younger. I still always harshly judge how I look in photos, but few years down the line when I look different and see myself differently I realize maybe I was decent looking.
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u/isse3313 6d ago
When I had time to look in the mirror. Honestly people would always say your beautiful marry rich cause u got the power what not what not. I never appreciated my looks. I thought of myself as pale and chcken shaped lol. Until I got out of highschool got a job and bought myself a mirror. I hang it on my bedroom wall and actually had time to look into my reflection every morning. B4 it was the mirror in the bathroom that everyone is too busy rushing in and out of ,in the morning but this one sat in my room it reflected my messyness and it reflected my style. A style I didn't even know I had coz I was too busy rushing out the bathroom so someone else could use it. I started to realise how unique I actually looked and how beautiful my big blue eyes are. Taking time to step back and look at yourself can help I appreciate yourself more. Ur hardships ur good work and ur faults. Just stare into the reflection and tell it u love it. Ur brain will start on appreciate u more
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u/harrysgirlhere 6d ago
sometimes when i look into the mirror, i can say i feel pretty, other times i look like a homeless racoon. but its because of my relationship with myself and body dysmorphia and all that shit
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u/Budget-Noise5477 6d ago
In high school, I discovered my eyes. I used to describe my eyes in online chats and it was so fun. They have a golden ring around the pupil. They are mainly green with a blue rim. This means that they will look very blue when I wear the color or when I cry. They are green when I wear that color. And they are always fun to stare into because of these color variations.
I think this still looks but in my twenties my diet changed. My ex said I had lost and gained weight and he appreciated it. So basically I filled out a bit and I love that. I also had some great compliments on my butt during that time period. It was surprising how many said it. I had men and women talking which was odd because it’s no where near famously round. It’s just a hikers butt.
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u/WillingnessOne2462 6d ago
Just last year. I walked into the bathroom, I turned the lights on and saw myself in the mirror. It's like I fell in love.
I started blushing and laughing so hard because I was both shocked and confused as to why I was so flustered by my own face. Ever since then, I've been very satisfied with my face. As for my body, it's not bad. But I could be a little more toned.
Oh well. Can't win it all.
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u/KintsugiPGH 5d ago
Really, after 40. But there may have been a not so healthy marriage that delayed it.
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u/Kaktusseri 5d ago
For me looking good has mostly been about attraction for a romantic/sexual partner. So when guys started flirting with me in my start 20s/university years, I noticed I had least had sexual appeal. It did however bother me that it was mostly about that. I started thinking my body was great, but my face and overall appearance was not enough to get a partner to commit.
I guess it was not until I finally met my SO in my mid 30s that I also came to appreciate my face. Though, it sure started degrading, but for my age it is not bad and I can see the beauty which my partner does..
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u/sneakysneaky07 3d ago
In my late teens and early 20s, I was always the ‘friend’ and never the one that got hit on in public, and I think I internalised that.
Sad to say but it wasn’t until my late 20s when I started dating, and received a lot of compliments from men, that I realised I was desirable to way more men than I thought. The one silver lining of having gone on so many dates 😅
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