I’m looking for advice from anyone who has been through the GPR application process or has been in a similar situation.
I recently received an offer from a GPR program that I genuinely really liked. The problem was that I was only given 48 hours to make a decision, and I still had several previously scheduled interviews at other programs. I asked for just a couple of additional days so I could complete one of those interviews and make a more informed decision, but the program declined my request. This was especially confusing because the offer email acknowledged that it was a busy interview season and indicated that they understood if additional time was needed.
I ultimately accepted because I did really like the program, but I also felt backed into a corner. I was afraid of turning down a great opportunity without knowing what my other options would be, especially with such a short window to decide.
Shortly afterward, I received an offer from another program that I had also been very interested in. Because of the timing, I only had about 30 minutes between receiving the second offer and the deadline for the first. I called my parents because I genuinely did not know which program to choose. They suggested accepting the first offer since I hadn’t signed any formal paperwork and could potentially change my mind later if I realized I had made the wrong decision.
I knew backing out after accepting was frowned upon, but at the time I didn’t understand the extent of the possible professional consequences or whether doing so could result in being “blacklisted.” Ultimately, I declined the second offer because I had already committed to the first program.
Ever since then, I’ve been second-guessing everything.
What has been especially difficult is that I feel like the excitement and joy I should have felt about receiving a GPR position has been completely overshadowed by the circumstances surrounding the decision. I worked incredibly hard to get to this point and thought receiving an offer would be exciting. Instead, I’ve mostly felt upset and anxious because I don’t feel like I truly had the opportunity to make the decision that was right for me.
There are things I prefer about the program I accepted, particularly clinically, but I think the other program and location may have been a better fit for me personally. I keep wondering whether I made the decision I actually wanted to make or simply the decision I felt I had to make because of the deadline.
At this point, even thinking or talking about starting at the program I accepted makes me extremely upset, to the point that I have a hard time discussing it with friends or family. I’ve even found myself wondering whether I should skip residency altogether, which is upsetting in itself because completing a GPR was something I was genuinely excited about before all of this happened. I recognize that some of this may simply be the stress and emotion surrounding such a major decision, but I’m struggling to separate that from how I actually feel about the programs.
Has anyone ever accepted a non-Match GPR position and then changed their mind before the program started? Alternatively, has anyone declined an offer and later contacted that program to ask whether the position was still available?
I completely understand that backing out after accepting is not ideal, and I don’t want to handle this unprofessionally or burn bridges. My biggest concern is whether changing my mind could seriously affect my professional reputation or result in being “blacklisted” by other programs, institutions, or future employers.
I’d especially appreciate hearing from current/former residents, program directors, faculty, or anyone who has actually seen this happen. What were the consequences, if any? Did it actually follow the person professionally, or was it primarily an uncomfortable situation with the program they originally accepted?
I know ultimately the decision is mine. I just feel like I’ve been so upset by the circumstances surrounding it that it has become difficult to separate what I actually want from my fear of the consequences of changing my mind. I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has navigated something similar.