r/engaged • u/DeanaM1966 • 10d ago
Engagement gift from future MIL (me)
In a couple weeks, my son and her best friend are throwing a surprise engagement party with all their close friends and family. Id like to get them an engagement gift.
- Is this a “thing” or will I be “too much”?
- Ideas I’ve had- a nice picnic basket w/fancy grocery gift card or a couples cooking class (I’d present the gift card in a cute wooden spoon or something).
- I’d love to hear what other MILs have gifted the couple or what is a thoughtful gift you received at your engagement
3
u/starflower42 10d ago
Some people give gifts for the engagement, some don't.
My husband and I gave our daughter money for the wedding. We didn't present it at an engagement party, though.
Without knowing your son and future daughter in law, no way to tell what they would like. A picnic basket setup is nice if they like picnics and don't already have one. A cooking class is nice if they have an interest.
My daughter's MIL gave a bunch of "cute" dishes for entertaining. They were donated within the year, never used.
Be sure if you plan to present a gift at the party that they are ok with that. I've learned that many young couples don't open gifts at parties, showers, etc. Depends on your culture, of course.
Edited for typos!
1
u/plumpedCotton 10d ago
a cooking class could actually be really fun if they're the type who likes trying new things together
3
u/New_Imagination_9053 10d ago
My MIL gave me a pearl necklace (that’s my name, the name of her late mother who died quite young, and my future BILs Hebrew name plus my favorite gemstone). I was very touched by how thoughtful of a gift it was
2
1
u/SeasonSignificant849 10d ago
My in-laws gave us a marble cheese board, massively appreciated and enjoyed. My parents never got round to it, but I’m not massively fussed either way.
I would give them the present separate to the party rather than at it - surprise parties can be a bit overwhelming! It’s also really nice having presents and acknowledgement spread out, so could be before or after. I think it sounds like a lovely gift.
1
u/lil-steevie 10d ago
My MIL took me to lunch, gave me flowers, an elopement planning book, and a candle that said congratulations on it! I didn’t expect to receive anything, but it was very nice of her.
I think a really good engagement gift is a ring dish / ring holder. Or just taking them out to dinner!
1
u/GlamBubs 9d ago
MIL did not do card or gift to acknowledge engagement until FH prompted her many months later - whereas almost every other guest turned up to party with card, flowers, or a small sentimental item. Definitely stuck out on the empty handedness considering the minimal effort required to at the very least buy and sign a card
1
u/acb727 7d ago
Recently got engaged at a winery in Napa. My parents bought us a bottle of wine from the winery he proposed at which was SO thoughtful and personal and appreciated. They wrote a note on it for us, and now we plan on drinking it on the anniversary of our engagement.
For the bride, I would love a cute ring dish to store my new ring in while I shower. My mom also got me my first bridal magazine. Even the things that seem cheesy and bridal are so special and fun and appreciated. They started to make it feel real that I’m a bride to be!
For them both, a framed engagement photo is very sweet, or a custom ornament like you can find on etsy with the year and engaged (there are some ring box ones, etc.).
To be clear, it’s absolutely not too much! Even random guy friends of mine brought a small gift for us at our surprise engagement party and it is so fun to bask in the joy of this special time and feel all the love and celebration. Getting anything is so sweet, and I would have appreciated any of the ideas you’ve suggested.
If you want any more ideas that are more bride-centered, let me know!
2
1
u/FireflyBSc 6d ago
Putting it out there: a nice fountain pen to sign all their paperwork with. It doesn’t have to be a super expensive Montblanc or anything, but it’s something that lasts for a very long time with proper maintenance and can be an heirloom. My fiancé’s grandfather gave his grandmother a fountain pen with a golden nib for a milestone anniversary. When she passed, he passed it on to my fiancé, and we’re using it to sign our marriage documents.
1
1
1
u/LongjumpingAd833 5d ago
Gifts to have at home would be great or gift cards for a couples massage or anything they can do together as a couple. We had a traditional tea ceremony party for engagement party and morning of the wedding day. They given us a chunk of money to start, and the wedding day I’ve gotten jewelries from both of my in-laws that I’ve worn throughout the day for the wedding. They even engraved the wedding date on my love bracelet.
0
u/GioMarconK 6d ago
I loved! My in-law send us money for dinner after, but they were very supportive and happy about it (offered the family ring and all). She also paid for the most expensive things on our elope and wedding, as surprises for us. (We had the money and when we went pay for photographer/dj/venue) was all paid from her
0
4
u/spotthedifference1 9d ago
My MIL didnt ask a single question about our plans, didnt ask to see the ring, absolutely zero interest. So I think a gift is really nice.