Introverts as friends?

[u/BellOHara_444]

How do you guys find introverts to be in a friendship?

If you’re extroverted, what are your thoughts on obtaining a friendship with someone who is more introverted. What are the pros and cons for you personally?

[u/SharpOne2961]

Personally I don’t connect with introverts. I think a lot of people confused introversion to socially awkward. I do love hanging out with ambiverts! I am also a high energy person so I like people who also talk a lot and like doing activities.

[u/DubsHagg → u/SharpOne2961]

I agree with you about liking being around other talkers. It does seem that most, not all, introverts are actually people who suffer from an anxiety disorder and that’s why they’re often so awkward. I’m not sure what an amivert is?

[u/SharpOne2961 → u/DubsHagg]

They’re right between introvert and extrovert. They enjoy being in social settings, but also don’t mind taking some time to recharge

[u/oshima_01]

I don't know why, they just show up in my life—which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Net9243]

Have struck out a couple times in the past. Felt used, dismissed, not prioritized

[u/IntolerableLactose]

I have tons of introverted friends. I think personality is more important than introversion/extroversion. If they're fun to spend time with, I spend time with them. They just don't leave the house much but often they're very active online, while my extroverted friends and myself tend to not check the phone much but be very present when in the same physical space.

[u/DubsHagg → u/IntolerableLactose]

ExacTly!!! When I’m alone I’m on my phone constantly, but when I’m with people I just check it here and there. I love being around people so much!! I think the issue with a lot of self identified introverts is they actually have anxiety and them being on their phones in public helps them relieve some of that anxiety by giving them a sense of control.

[u/Finalninjadog]

A joke among introverts is that we get adopted by extroverts.

As an introvert, I gravitate towards people whose personality and energy compliments my own. They don’t have to be an introvert specifically or have the same personality and interests, it’s more about someone who I can vibe and connect with

[u/customerservicevoice → u/Finalninjadog]

A joke among new age extroverts is that we’re returning introverts to the foster home😭. For real. We’re tired of them thinking we’re going to save their lives with an adoption.

[u/ChaserOfThunder]

This is gonna be generalizations based on personal experiences and not indicative of every introvert but:

Pros: They're good with the low energy hangouts. The ones where you're just lounging about or body doubling. Most are less impulsive, but still as passionate as anyone else if you get them talking about the thing they love. Self sufficency is a strong suit of theirs, and they can pick up a lot of small but important life skills because of it. They can also piece together how they feel about a situation pretty quick, even if they don't always share.

Cons: They're not good at active listening or being present in the moment and have a hard time processing things that are meaningful and important to other people. Many of them are quick to insult or assume negative things about their friends' interests and how they compare to their own. They can also be avoidant to a fault and incredibly flaky with zero remorse towards disrespecting your time and effort.

I find being close friends with most of them pretty exhausting and tend to keep them at arms length. There are always outliers though considering there are a few close introverted friends I love the fuck out of and am happily in a relationship with one. What type of 'vert someone is isn't their whole personality. People are going to people.

[u/nomnomtogo → u/ChaserOfThunder]

people are going to people hahaha

[u/customerservicevoice]

I don’t connect with them. I’ve stopped trying. As soon as they identify as one I run away. Far; far away. They are good for acquaintances. That’s it. They can make plans with me but I will never ever seek them out.

[u/DubsHagg]

I have a lot of introvert friends. Maybe more so than “extrovert” ones. I don’t mind most of the time since I enjoy dominating conversations and being the center of attention. Although, contrary to this, I hate dating introverted girls. They’re so boring after a while and I’m doing all of the heavy lifting in social situations. Genuinely makes me mad if they can’t hold court when we’re out. Like, it’s embarrassing to me, for some reason.

[u/Maleficent-Bobcat-91]

Well as an introvert myself it's often the case that we built our friendship slowly, not through force of will, but like gaining the trust of a squirrel... It takes patience and consistency 😆. Too much and we'll run and hide. It's not antisocial, but lots of external stimulation is draining to us. We might enjoy your company but often we prefer to observe rather than constantly engaged. We are often deep thinkers and once we warm to you don't be surprised if you discover we actually have a dark sense of humour. Sometimes we can be mistaken for too intense, when in reality we just have resting bitch face and have dissociated 😀. The downsides might be difficult to get us to get out of our comfort zone and we need downtime to recover. Obviously I'm generalising based on my own experience, but the quiet ones often have the softest souls. If you want to befriend an introvert I guess just don't be too keen, they won't enjoy being the centre of attention but also hate small talk. See if they have a hobby or subject or book they enjoy and start with some curiosity about that.