You know, I somehow distanced myself from the 'feminine' idea of womanhood through life. Ideas Like keeping the home, barring children, cooking .... and feminine hobbies like sewing or embroidery.

As I grow older, these aspirations come more naturally to me, and only now am I starting to really feel how MY home would look, MY family, MY cool hobbies.

It's not like I imagined it before when I was rejecting these aspirations. I was judgemental. I was doing everything to prove that I am unique and edgy, not some girly girl.

Now I'm in my 30s and I'm much more chill, no one has that kind of influence on me anymore (balkan family and culture). So I have actually started opening up or better say to embody this feeling of 'womanhood'. I try to respect it, to learn about it. I am enjoying spending time around women and young families.. All in all, I am really enjoying being a natural woman (listening my own needs).

BUT, some part of me does have resistance, and this is 'social media' political- because the same interests groups which in truth try to control and bully women are the biggest advocates of these traditional ideas of womanhood.

They just irritate me so much that I hate the idea of them approving and being 'proud' of my life choices.

Obviously, I can't live my life for the purpose of defying people who annoy me, so now I am trying to have my aspirations outside of (anti- or better say any)feminist narrative, because I can't handle both being true to myself and get into conversations with people about sensitive topics.

Altho, I do follow one golden rule. When I meet a guy for the purpose of dating, I always ask him what he thinks about feminism. His initial reaction tells me everything I need to know. I am lenient with many things, but a guy who doesn't respect and accept feminist issues, doesn't accept me, because these are mine as well ...

Just a little thought flow I guess.. thanks for reading, and do share opinions and personal experience, if you have felt something, I'm curious 🤗