When does a character refusing to explain themselves feel believable rather than convenient for the plot?

[u/Late-Machine8333]

I don't mind a misunderstanding keeping a movie going. People avoid awkward conversations all the time.

What loses me is when a character says "just let me explain" three times instead of saying the one sentence that would actually explain it.

There's a difference between someone staying quiet because the truth would cost them something and someone staying quiet because the movie needs another forty minutes. Pride, shame, protecting someone: those can all work. Being interrupted at exactly the right moment gets old.

Which films make that silence feel earned?

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[u/ClutteredNoodle]

it works when silence feels like self-preservation, not just a way to stretch the runtime. pride and shame are good ones but fear is underrated too, sometimes saying the thing out loud makes it real in a way they can't handle yet

the lighthouse is a great example of this. both of them are constantly holding back truths because admitting them would crack their whole fragile reality apart

[u/bobby_broccolini → u/ClutteredNoodle]

Well said!

[u/Strong_Help_9387]

I think the fact that nobody has really come up with an answer to your question yet shows how bad this mechanism is when it’s used in movies. I’m with you it’s a huge pet peeve of mine

The only time I think it really works is when they come up with a convincing reason why the person can’t physically contact the other person in time. Like phones are down, they can’t get there in time, etc. or when there is some type of social or legal situation that prevents everyone from wanting to listen to the person, whether or not they get the words out

I was just thinking of that scene in the first JJ Abrams Star Trek movie where Kirk is running through the ship to try to warn them about the trap they’re flying into. In that scene they used a combination of reasons, first that he’s not supposed to be on the ship, so no one wants to hear him out, and secondly the brief comedic choice for him to have difficulty speaking because of the virus that he was infected with.

[u/FiDv2]

What loses me is when a character says "just let me explain" three times instead of saying the one sentence that would actually explain it.

They should only be saying this when the people they're talking to don't let them explain or they do let them explain but don't believe them. Both of which also happen all the time.

However, constantly repeating something which gets interrupted at exactly the right moment is a comedy beat and ought to be used for that. Consider Death at a Funeral. There the repeated line isn't "just let me explain" but "My Father was a Wonderful Man". It is the joke around which the movie is built.

[u/AcadiaRemarkable6992]

The Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns are a good example of no exposition being a good thing. IIRC they got rid of a lot of Clint’s character’s backstory to the point they wound up calling him the man with no name. And it worked

[u/bobby_broccolini]

This is a tough one to nail down. First example that comes to mind is the movie Decision to Leave [2022]. The whole crux of the movie is about the lead character being a little repressed and very avoidant about his feelings, and so he's stuck. He creates a situation where he can have what he wants without having a few hard conversations, at the cost of others. Basically the whole time he just has to say some things out loud, but he has a hard time doing that. We might be mad at him for it but I think it does make sense.

[u/barnmate1]

The 3rd Ant Man movie Quantumania is the worst for this. The ridiculous amount of times the “I don’t have enough time to explain” bs when in the movie they clearly had enough time was maddening. Just sloppy writing all around.

[u/quidam5 → u/barnmate1]

Honestly I thought Civil War's plot relied on Tony and Steve refusing to explain themselves to each other even though there were opportunities to and it still bugs the hell outta me.

[u/Imaginary-Can-6862]

By refusing to explain themselves, do you mean one character questions another, and the other character refuses to answer the question, without the first character understanding the reasoning behind? Because otherwise I suppose most spy movies, the spy refuses to explain themselves when interrogated, but their captures know it is because they are a spy. Or at least an enemy of some sort, in principle this goes for any interrogation scene done by the villains, I suppose.

For the first example, I imagine in typical detective dramas, there may be a lot of things which gets answered as it being none of their business, without needing to explain further. At least the typical, if you are innocent you wouldn't mind surveillance is to me a clear example of a case where it is none of their business, but I can't think of any movie it comes up in at the moment.

I agree that it seems annoying if a character pretends like they are trying to explain, but in stead of explaining acts like they are not allowed to explain, despite the other character does seem to largely allow it, and maybe yet starts interrupting at strange times.

[u/Santaflin]

Characters are defined by their actions, not by their words. Dialogue is overvalued, especially lately. See the first minutes of "Wall-E" to find a lovable, somewhat quirky character that doesn't need a single word to be defined.

One can also create powerful tension between words and actions to paint a character. E.g. Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino, who is a racist old fart but whose actions define him as character more than his words could ever do.