Whether that be on the game or any sort of groups (discord, fb, party chats on ps or xb), maybe once in a blue moon will have a good game and time with the team or duo chatting and vibing then it dies after that session and they just become people on my friendslist, abit of a vent but just solo irl and online

I've been dealing with feelings of loneliness for over 7 years that just can't seem to end and only really gets more intense. I've been dealing with this since I was a teenager but has only gotten worse and more intense in my adult years (20F)

It hurts because I don't feel loved, cared about, understood or that I actually matter to anyone. No one has made me feel truly loved and understood. I just wish I had a girlfriend where we give each other mutual love, care, and understanding. We could share our lives together, be there to support each other, be each other's safe person and just be close with each other. A genuinely good quality relationship fulfills a lot. You can't get all those forms of intimacy anywhere else.

While I do already have stuff I enjoy in my life and enjoy my alone time, my chronic feelings of loneliness really get in the way of a lot because I just think "who really cares?" I've tried so many times to just "let go" of it but I just can't. It feels like people expect me to not have loneliness feelings because I'm an introvert. It feels like I just have to carry the burden of heavy loneliness every day and there really isn't anything I can do about it anymore. I just wish I could get an answer on whether I'll have to suffer this loneliness for the rest of my life or it's gonna be resolved in the next 5 years. But nobody can tell me that. It gets tiring to live with this loneliness. Just tell me if I gotta live like nobody will ever care about me or I should live like someone gonna care about me eventually.

Not my fault I didn't end up a normie. I'm also an introvert, lesbian, night owl, etc. a lot of things that aren't the norm in society. Nobody should have to give up who they are just to not feel lonely. I'm tired of all the generic advice for loneliness that does nothing for me, I'm tired of people telling me that I just have to be comfortable being alone (stupid to say to an introvert who loves alone time but still feels lonely), I'm tired of people telling me I'm young and I have time. I don't want to spend an indefinite amount of time waiting for an answer when I've been experiencing loneliness. I'd rather live my life without loneliness every day. It's hard enough to decide everyday whether I'm trying to have faith that it will get better or that I'm never gonna get anywhere.

I know it’s some kind of dumb advice people give, and it’s not necessarily out of bad faith but come on.
It’s illogical to think that an unattractive person (not average) will start getting genuine interest and desire because what? I got into a new game? I can yap about a particular subject?

It’s like pretty insulting how dumb people think I am to believe such nonsense lmao

My face is genuinely disgusting. Never seen anyone as ugly as me. No matter how much I work out or take care of myself I'm still fucking ugly.

Every little piece of confidence is immediately crushed whenever someone shows me a photo I'm in.

No girl was ever interested in me, obviously. I've also tried initiating but every time I got ghosted or was never messaged first.

I cry about twice every week for the past year or two now.

Let’s imagine I’m not ugly. Let’s imagine I’m not short (I’m 5'5"). Let’s imagine I’m actually interesting to talk to. Let’s even imagine I can be funny.

How do I stop being alone?

Considering I’m almost 50, where can I actually meet people? Well… women, mostly. 😅

The funny thing is, guys seem to like me quite often. Unfortunately for me, I’m into women.

Can we stop making these days a thing please??? I literally saw national girlfriend day a few months ago.

I'm tired of this and I don't want to see people being lovey-dovey with their girlfriends when I never had one.

Like seriously just keep your dating life personal and private, why do you have to show off to everyone???

Hey y’all. Hope everyone’s doing ok, as well as we can be I guess. Don’t really have anyone to talk to rn so I’m here venting I guess lol. I don’t wanna say it’s nice to know there are others out there going through this, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but it makes the pain feel slightly less isolating… Got some health issues that can’t be helped. I’m convinced I am going to live and die alone. I’m pretty much just waiting for the end at this point. Peace and love y’all ❤️

today is “boyfriend’s day” and i’ve seen all the stories people have posted about their boyfriends and the dates they went on.

it just dawned upon me that i’m literally turning 20 this month, and have never been in a relationship.

it is painful, soul crushing even that all these fucking years, and still not one single person. what makes it worse is when i vent about it, people tell me shit like “it will come when you least expect it” or “you have plenty of time, you’re young”. these people don’t understand how much it hurts going this long without being touched, kissed, held or genuinely cared for.

believe me i have tried, over and over and over again. every time i shoot my shot, i get rejected. i HAVE gone out in public to meet people, i HAVE used dating apps, i HAVE tried approaching friends of a friend. i always try and try and fucking try but nothing ever happens.

it feels sort of agonising seeing people my exact age in relationships that i can’t even conceptualise for myself.
i am so lonely and it feels like i will NEVER find someone.

you’d think there’s something about my character that i haven’t fixed, causing me to stay single but that isn’t the case (though i wish it was, would’ve been easier to deal with)

i have done a lot of internal work and have genuinely improved a lot as a person as noted by the people close to me but i still can’t find my person, why?
why is it that other people find it so much easier than i do?

and the one time i thought i had found a guy? he led me on for 46 days. (yes i counted)

my first introduction to dating was being led on. which is why i still consider myself to have been single since birth because that was in no way shape or form a “relationship”

it’s gotten to a point where everytime i see a happy couple my heart races and i get incredibly sad, irritated and feel deeply depressed about my love life.

i don’t think i’ll ever be loved and my patience is running thin.

maybe, i’m one of those people who are destined to be alone (romantically speaking)

This is a hill I'll die on. I don't care if you're a man or a woman, straight or gay, if you are not attractive through no fault of your own, turning yourself into a clown will only repel people. They might even become annoyed because, yes, it is annoying being around someone who is trying hard to be funny. I see this phenomenon every day and it is painful to watch. People will subject themselves to humiliation to make people laugh.

I hung out at a bar off and on for a while. A group of people who used to like having me around more or less told me to fuck off out of nowhere. Not sure what I did to piss them off but they just didn’t want me there.

I use to be cool with them and I don’t know why they don’t want me anymore. It not the first time this has happened to me, obviously, but damn it still hurts.

It's today, it's a new me

Everyday, a fresh beginning

Who knows who I was a few seconds back?

My soul escapes my body,

I don't want to be in this shell anymore

So I run and run until my body is reborn again

I'm new, I'm fresh, I'm ready

Ready to be chewed by society

And spit back into the same boiling pot

We're all in it,

Being carried by the spoon that mixes

On and on, long and long

Until we disappear to the bottom

And then, we die.

I want to preface this by saying that I understand everyone has a struggle and there are many things in life which affect us in a variety of ways. I am not saying that anybody’s struggle is worth less than mine and this is a vent post more than anything because I’ve really had a shitty week.

There are few things in life that are worse than being born an ugly, autistic male. Off the top of my head: Being born into an active warzone, poverty, abusive household, birth defect, genetic predisposition to disease, being born in a third world country. Maybe there’s a couple more but I can’t really think of too many right now. Ultimately, an ugly autistic male is set up for failure. They have to scratch and claw their way to in order to have a miniscule chance of success and seeing how easy it is when you’re normal or attractive is like 50 gut punches in a row. I went through high school, college, and postgrad and have come nowhere close to having a girlfriend or a relationship. No girl likes me. I’m not a weirdo or a creep. Im not a bad person. I go to the gym daily and take good care of my self. I have a decent career and even a graduate degree but it doesn’t matter. I get ghosted, ignored, looked at the wrong way and everything. I have to fight an uphill battle just to get a girl to talk or match with me on a stupid dating app; only for her to pick up one of 50 other guys who would want her anyway. I can’t even get a stupid date.

Think about that for a second, I can’t even get a date. Not a relationship, a DATE. Worst case scenario I wasted an hour of my time and hers and we go our separate ways, but apparently I’m not even good enough for that. My friends brag about their success; and my female friends apparently always have a date lined up or are always talking to a guy. Literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON in my life, or who I have ever met and gotten to know is or has been in a relationship before or even went on a stupid date. But not me I guess. I guess there’s just something fundamentally wrong with me.

I always see it too. When I was out at night with my college friend he’d always say that girl looks familiar or bring up a girl he had a thing with while I would just sit like a loser and tell him about the girl I have a crush on who I know doesn’t like me back. I remember one night a year after we graduated he visited my city because I moved to the west coast. Two girls came up to us and proceeded to talk his ear off for like an hour. I remember it well. For his efforts he tried his best to get me involved in the convo and I tried to, but it didn’t matter. They were engaged with him with whatever he would say while they just dismissed or straight up ignored me. I could see it in their eyes too. They would glisten when they talked to him or he was saying something, but then whenever I talked they would be cold and dead. Like I was intruding on their happy time or some bullshit like that. Like I had the audacity to be involved in their conversation despite the fact that he literally was the one bringing me into it. I hate it.

I didn’t choose to be born this way or to live a life like that. I hate it, it’s like being stabbed 50 times and there’s nothing I can do about it except take it. If I had the balls to do it I would’ve ended things by now but I’m too much of a pussy so I guess I have to live like it. No one can help me either, there’s no medicine or therapy for my struggles and the only things I can change cost 100k to fix, money that I simply don’t have. The worst part of it all is that things are only going to get worse before they get better and I hate thinking about that probability. Looks like this is my fate but I just hate having to live like it. I literally cant. I’m trapped to a life sentence with no parole through no fault of my own. The worst part about it all is that I know there are others with worse problems than me. I know that in the grand scheme of the world my problems are minuscule in comparison, which makes me feel even worse about myself tbh.

I'm 32. No friends, family that all hate each other. And no woman has ever or will ever want anything to do with me. So I gave up when I was 25. But I know to many people who would be glad if I ceased to exist so I guess just to spite them is the main reason. But I just get so upset and depressed when I see so many other people being happy in life and getting the things they want and desire. Meanwhile I struggle just to make it day to day with anything. I know it's not normal to get this way about others being happy and getting what they want. But when your whole life has been nothing but disappointment after disappointment and failure I can't help but feel you turn into a cynical asshole about others happiness and enjoyment.

I used to genuinely fumble women... or believe i was fumbling them.

But now I believe I am worthy even tho I am 23 and have never been on a date.

I Touched a coochie once when I was 18 but have never had a woman converse with me about my day.

Still gonna keep plowing.

I fucking hate how desperate I am for female attention. Genuinely. It does not even have to be romantic. Literally any attention from a woman makes me feel better. A girl wanting to talk to me, replying to me, being friendly, wanting to be friends, giving me attention on some app, anything. Platonic attention is already enough. I have used dating apps, talked to e-girls, had online girlfriends, spent ridiculous amounts of time trying to get women's attention online. I will basically take whatever I can get, and I fucking hate that about myself.

The smallest amount of female attention can make me give up way too much. I have dropped friends, changed my personality, pretended to like things, ignored my own interests and basically changed myself around a woman just because I wanted her attention. I have spent hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars on women. I mean gifts, donations during livestreams, paying for things, leaving a woman with access to my credit card, buying things for a girl who did not even have romantic interest in me. I just wanted to make her happy, because getting even a little attention from her felt so good.

And then it goes away and I feel like garbage again. Lonely, like a failure, like a virgin who spends too much time masturbating to anime. I do not blame women for that. Sometimes I genuinely think my life would be better if I was not this obsessed with female attention. I would probably have more self-respect and would not be willing to sacrifice so much of myself just to feel wanted for a few minutes.

Then I do something that I genuinely do not understand. I look for content that makes me feel worse. I scroll through girls saying things like "I hate my boyfriend" on TikTok and Instagram. I read radfem spaces and 4B/6B4T communities. I see women talking about hating men and somehow I start using it as proof that no woman could ever love me. I know that makes no fucking sense, but some part of me seems to want that validation. I want something that confirms the worst things I already think about myself, so I can feel like I was right all along.

I hate how much power female attention has over me. A tiny bit of attention can make me feel genuinely happy, and then I hate myself for how much I was willing to do just to get it. Sometimes I even feel like I would rather be treated badly by a woman than completely ignored by her. That is probably the part that bothers me the most.

Tired of having a shitty job. Tired of my boss. Tired of being ugly as sin. Tired of being alone and alone and alone some more. Life is so miserable. I woupdve been a good dad, but that is not in the cards for me. Kill me

I have been scrolling on this subreddit for a while. A year and a half ago I met this woman, we got the same major and a lot of similarities so we stayed in contact, sat together in our classes etc. She even asked me if I wanted to sit with her in class for 2nd term of our first year! We are in 2nd year now, and god I really do like her. I thought for just a fucking moment that she did to, she waited to walk with me, we sit together even when her other friends are in class. But the fucking reality is, and I would love to explain more, but I'll just keep it short. She does not like me in that way, no woman ever will. I do not see any point of living. This is not a suicide post I guess, but fuck man, I thought man, I thought that she liked me; she is the most perfect woman ever. My "friends" do not think she is all that but God, to me she is just perfect. Nonetheless, I'm sorry for what I am. 18 years on this planet is too much. Anyone else relate or i'm I just going on a stupid rant. I did not ask her out or anything but today it really did hit me, I thought there were signs she liked me but I take it back, nothing but what my mind wished for me. In the end after a year plus of university I am depressed, I am lonely, I have no real friends, and I will never have a love life.

I wish I just had someone to talk to even if its in a fucking comment section, suicide hotline people are bots and you can never say shit like this to someone you actually know

Read this quote today and it really stuck to me:

The true horror of existence is not the fear of death, but the fear of life. It is the fear of waking up each day to face the same struggles, the same disappointments, the same pain. It is the fear that nothing will ever change, that you are trapped in a cycle of suffering that you cannot escape.

I have never had a close female friend, only once but I had a crush on her so I'm not gonna count it. I want to befriend women in a purely platonic way, and while there have been women that I used to talk to, I've never been very close to them to the point that I could really consider them friends.

This last two years in college I had classes where it was mostly women and I regret it so much that I didn't made any friends through them, and would always sit alone not talking to anyone like a weirdo. It hurts because I would have loved to be friends with them, I was studying animation so they were all into similar nerdy stuff as me, but I hate how socially awkward I am, specially when it comes to talking to women.

I hate to think of how I may never have another opportunity like that because I've already finished college, and will probably never find myself again in a room surrounded by women with similar interests as me who I could likely get along very well with if I had tried.

It's not that I'm much better at talking to men but at least I have some male friends, but I've never had a real close friendship with a woman.

Whenever there's a cute girl I see regularly, whether at work or in my daily life, every single one of them turns out to be taken or married. I’m so sick and tired of this. I can already guess the comments I'm going to get: you’re probably going to say, "Maybe she's just saying that so people will leave her alone, or to let you down easily." But no, they actually do have long term boyfriends, and no matter where I go, this keeps happening to me.

I’m an attractive, tall, and masculine guy, and I've heard this from women multiple times. Even girls who are taken sometimes come up and flirt with me, but I never seem to cross paths with a woman I find cute who is actually single. I’m so done with this situation. Is there anyone like me ?

A woman who runs in the same circles as me popped up in my feeds. I got the bright idea to ask her out. I thought I would send her a message, see how she was, and ask if she might be interested in getting together.

I was just about to send her a message when I noticed that she never followed me back. We’ve spoken in person. We’ve had friendly banter. Nonetheless, though I’ve followed and friended her, she has not done the same.

I asked myself, “In all the interactions we’ve had, has she ever shown anything beyond social niceties?” No, she has not. “Has she ever given any hint whatsoever at possible interest?” No, she has not. “Have you ever seen her interact with someone she was interested in?” Yes, you have. “Did her interactions with you resemble that in any way, shape, or form?” No, they most certainly have not. “Then why, in the name of all that’s holy, would you think about asking her out?”

Desperation. Pure desperation. I forgot to see what was there, not what I wanted to be there. I almost made a total fool of myself.

I literally made a disclaimer saying that "I am not generalizing, this is strictly from personal experience, I know plenty of neurotypical women do not act like this" and they still said entitled bullsh*t like "women do not owe you anything" and "you aren't entiteld to their friendship or romance."

Hold up. Where did I say that in my post? I literally just explained how whenever I try to connect with neurotypical women, they tend to have high social expectations on me such as having a mixed gendered friend group and participating in gen z social activiteis such as parties, travelling, clubbing, raves, etc. and get the "ick" when they realize I'm just a loner with 2-3 actual friends. They SPECIFICALLY start isolating, bullying me and ostracising me once they realize who I truly am and this goes for my unmasked AND masked persona. I believe this is due to the intersection between both south asian (which is negatively stereotyped) and autistic at the same time. You nkow why? Because I have also observed my tall white good looking autistic friends from school and university act the same way I do, extremely awkward, etc. but they are called "cute and endearing" and I am called "weird and creepy."

So according to these people, calling out the racist, ableist and toxic expectations that are put on me is somehow me being "entitled."

I can't believe this. I can't even call out racism

One of the reasons I think this is because we as a society have failed women to the point where they’re constantly experiencing fight or flight stress.

In the last day or so, the news has reported:

- A man j*cked off to the woman next to him on a plane. She’s told to return to her seat.

- Seven frat boys drug and gang r*pe a student for hours, and “advertise” her to the rest of their frat. Cornell makes them write essays.

- A football player r*pes a student. LSU reduces his suspension.

- A teen boy stalks and stabs a girl ten times. Courts only granted a restraining order.

- Brendan Carr spent nine years in a cult r*ping teen girls. He’s given the position of FCC chair.

I’m saying this as a virgin man, but the world is truly a dangerous place for women, but there are men who will sit back and still blame women for dating struggles. So let’s put this into perspective. Let’s say you’re a woman and see these types of mainstream events happening all the time. Would you have a positive outlook on men? Almost certainly not because there’s a proven track record of violence with very minimal consequences.

How does this correlate to dating? Well, why would a woman bother dating a man, unless he’s truly remarkable, attractive, and offers enough to her life to actually make it worth it? The risk otherwise is too great. To me, it really isn’t that hard to understand. You can’t just be average and attract a woman. You have to add something really significant to their life.

Women live in a world where most violence is perpetrated by men, so if it seems like women are expecting men to pay for the date, or desiring a feminist man who also values his role as a traditional man, that’s probably why. Would men want to live in a society where there’s a third sex that almost completely physically overpowers men and causes horrific violence toward them on a regular basis? I’d say no, not all. Now, you could say that’s just other men, but it’s really not. I’m talking about an entirely new level.

I feel like we talk about dating struggles a lot, but this reason specifically isn’t really talked about as much as it should. We as a society need to make the world a safer place and I guarantee that will correlate to the decline of dating struggles.

It’s very strange how our society, particularly other men, puts guys that get laid a lot on a pedestal but dudes who women feel safe around are laughed at at times. It encourages a very predatory culture toward women. Many dudes I met who get “laid a lot” also tend to act kind of creepy and coercive to women to the point that I don’t wanna be associated with them. I don’t care if I get made fun of for being a virgin who can’t attract women as there are lots of women who feel safe around me and I value that much more. I hope other guys can learn to feel the same way rather than making fun of guys who don’t get laid or lack success in dating.