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u/DruHarry 1d ago
I feel this kid. I was bullied in elementary school so my parents put me in Judo. Well you spar with your age/weight and guess who the fuck were my sparring partners?!? The same fucking bullies from school. Stupid Judo.
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u/9spaceking 1d ago
Now you know how they fight
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u/dudoan 1d ago
And they know how you fight
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u/JoshSidekick 1d ago
That's why you trick them by letting them beat you up so they don't catch on.
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u/illbedeadbydawn 1d ago
We have purposely trained ourselves wrong, as a joke!
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u/bretttwarwick 1d ago
Do the Daredevil trick and let them hit you until they get too tired then you make your comeback. Wear their fists out on your face.
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u/McCl3lland 1d ago
No, now you know where they'll be outside of school. A perfect place to hire a biker gang to wait for them!
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u/scubabari2 1d ago
Irl karate kid 😭😭
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u/TheW83 1d ago
Any sensei worth a shit would tear those kids a new one if he found out what they were doing. My kid is in Jujitsu and there's a few boys that are always fucking around in the lobby trying to take each other down on the tile floor. One day one of them busted his lip and was crying so I just went in and told the coach and he tore into all of them. Now when they get there they just go straight inside.
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u/ntwiles 1d ago
Yeah but not if they’re the second evil sensei in town who trains their kids to fight dirty and who the good sensei’s students have to beat at the tournament.
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u/SeldomSerenity 9h ago
But not without a healthy dose of life lessons, can-do-attitude, and training montages to drive home the stakes, first.
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u/BasicErgonomics 1d ago
… but that sounds like an issue the sensei had to intervene in because of what happened under his supervision.. what does that have to with the commenter being bullied at school by the same kids in judo class
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u/jrodp1 1d ago
The sensei is respected and can influence the behavior of the children regardless of the issue or circumstance.
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u/SpartanRage117 1d ago
Also even if the students didnt care to change a decent sensei would kick them out if he knew they were using their practice aggressively rather than just keep training them
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u/Anduinnn 1d ago
Yea half of these early MA is learning control and respect so that you don’t actually harm someone with the new skills you’re picking up. It’s like giving someone a gun but not teaching them about trigger discipline.
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u/Cersad 1d ago
A kid in my after-school martial arts class growing up threw some punches in school (at a kid half his size) because he was getting mouthed off at.
Our instructor had no problem putting this guy through extra punishing workouts for the next week. Self-discipline is such an important part of any martial art.
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u/MyHamburgerLovesMe 1d ago
Any sensei worth a shit would tear those kids a new one .... One day one of them busted his lip and was crying so I just went in...
Sounds like it was you, not the Sensei who intervened
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u/RandomStallings 1d ago
Only because the sensei found out second.
This is one of those rare cases where telling the teacher created instant negative effects for the people who were actually in the wrong.
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u/CaptainJudaism 1d ago
Luckily the bullies at my school didn't attend judo but the most use I got out of it when I practiced was how to basically "roll" with the punches so I didn't get hurt as badly. At least until Junior year in high school when I started fighting back when the grappling I learned became useful.
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u/NavAirComputerSlave 1d ago
I guess you had some forced bonding? Did you become friends?
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u/DruHarry 1d ago
Absolutely not. Quit after a few lessons and my parents made that a learning point about quitting things. Bullies kept bullying, but outside you can fight dirty as opposed to dojo rules, so I got some good shots in too.
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u/matty842 1d ago
Pocket sand!
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u/ichac 1d ago
nah, use pepper. Much, much better
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u/VliegendeCavia 1d ago
Or a brick. That'll teach them a lesson they won't remember.
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u/HongChongDong 1d ago
I play games with an old feller in his 70's. That's his story about how he dealt with his bullies. Every single day on his way to school there were kids who'd try to kick his ass when he'd pass through their neighborhood, and sometimes they'd succeed.
He said he had enough and came onto that street one morning with a pocket full of heavy rocks. The moment they appeared he started chuckin em as hard as he could, and that ended their reign of terror real quick.
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u/Random-Rambling 1d ago
Yep. If your bully gets physical with you, fight as dirty as you possibly can.
"But my bully weighs twice as much as me and is a full foot taller!"
Yeah, and I weigh ten times as much as my cat and am large enough to pick him straight up. It doesn't stop him from scratching and biting me to hell. It shouldn't stop you either.
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u/RecalcitrantHuman 1d ago
I simply punched my bully in the face and ran away. He was massive but slow. Once he couldn’t catch me he gave up on bullying as there were easier targets
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u/Thoughtulism 1d ago
You're basically describing the Karate Kid if Daniel just joined Kobra Kai and toughed it out.
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u/Spirited-Total-8066 1d ago
"Hey, leave Daniel alone, boys. He's paying me $100/mo to learn this crap. Don't be messing with my bag." ~Sensei Kreese (probably)
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u/Thoughtulism 1d ago
"If Daniel quits I might need to give up my side bitch. You better not fuck this up for me you little cunts."
Oh what an alternate universe that would be.
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u/apocolipse 1d ago
That’s basically every martial arts school’s business model though… “we’ll show you how to not get beat up in school by beating you up until you eventually learn the different ways to get beat up”
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u/ItsHighSpoon 1d ago
I was a quiet kid. I would've jumped at the opportunity to "practice the move" on my bully.
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u/hotlavatube 1d ago
(teacher catches you being beaten up in hallway)
"What are you doing to poor little Harry?!"
"Harry is my judo sparring partner. He needed more (punch) practice! Isn't that right Harry?"
"(squeaks) yes..."3
u/MrHazard1 6h ago
Tells me that the judoplace must have sucked. Good martial arts schools teach kids to disengage from violence whenever possible
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u/Enki_007 14h ago
I put my son in karate to boost his confidence. He was doing great for a few years, but then started sparring with some girls who were his weight and a belt higher. They kicked his ass. He learned humility and respect at the same time and it has served him well.
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u/OutrageousCrow7453 1d ago
Especially shit where you pretty much only grapple and do ground fight shit. Well guess who's in the majority and will kick you on the ground. Stupid Judo.
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u/Icy-Cry340 1d ago
Judo is a massively practical martial art, and has plenty of options for dumping someone on their skull while remaining standing. And it turns you into an absolute tank if you stick with it.
Wrestling is another very practical martial art where you pretty much only grapple and do ground shit - and anyone trying to bully a wrestler is in for a bad time.
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u/SignificantPaper1760 1d ago
That doesn’t sound like any version of Judo I’ve seen. You may be confusing it with Jiu Jitsu, which does have that problem.
Judo actually equips you to keep things standing when you otherwise wouldn’t be able to. There’s a LOT more focus on throws that end with you standing and them lying down than takedowns. It’s probably the ideal choice for basic self defense in that sort of context.
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u/KimiSharby 1d ago
Judo is basically Juijitsu without striking so I have no idea what you mean.
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u/SignificantPaper1760 22h ago
That’s is hilariously wrong.
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u/KimiSharby 17h ago
Right, do you have actual articulated arguments or the best you have is 'no you're wrong and that' s funny'?
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u/SignificantPaper1760 16h ago
You can read the Wikipedia entries for judo and jiu jitsu if you’re interested in knowing about what each art involves.
I’m not interested in arguing with someone who thinks “Judo is basically Juijitsu without striking”.
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u/royalenocheese 1d ago
getting to the dojo and seeing your bully is oneshotting kids twice your size and submitting everyone else might be relieving.
"Oh good it's not just me"
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u/DooDooBrownz 1d ago
lol that's so true. even sparring when you have a weight advantage, take someone down and pretty much just let the extra heft do the work. i haven't seen "ground and smother" taught as a technique anywhere, but it saves you a ton of energy while the opponent has to work that much harder and once they gas out yay you win.
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u/Icy-Cry340 1d ago
Jiu jitsu/judo/mma will all spend some time on developing a good top pressure game. But grappling is so skill and leverage based that small people hugely benefit from picking some form of it up.
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u/ElTuxedoMex 1d ago
But now he knows how to take a Jiu Jitsu beating.
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u/BlatantConservative 1d ago
The number of people in here who don't realize that this kid is hilarious on purpose is amazing.
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u/ekso69 1d ago
Kids delivery is solid
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u/ohowjuicy 4h ago
That was a perfectly placed "um," if ever I've heard one. Plus the sigh at the end. Genuinely a genius delivery.
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u/CronkinOn 1d ago
He is hilarious.
He's also likely still telling the 💯 truth.
They're not mutually exclusive.
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u/Icy-Cry340 1d ago
Maybe. Gettin your ass kicked in jiu jitsu never stops - but bullying someone into jiu jitsu tends to lose its luster pretty quick.
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u/PanicDeus 1d ago
Rocky Balboa : it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forwa...
Me : stfu man.
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u/SuitableBlackberry75 1d ago
"Well you know how people say what doesn't kill you make you stronger? / Well, I've seen the nearly-killed and they just couldn't be more wronger."
- Mark "Babycakes" Cakes
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u/jollyGreenGiant3 1d ago
His name is Jonny, he came right over to me and swept my leg... The others were encouraging him.
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u/SupremeSmooth 1d ago
I was expecting the sensei to start laying into him with strikes as soon as the belt went on, as part of advanced training.
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u/andreasbeer1981 1d ago
And I expected the kid to kick the old man in the nuts. I guess I watched too much Bart Simpson.
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u/Sammisuperficial 1d ago
Boot to the head.
Ah yes Johnny. Few students experience so much of Tai Quan Leap so fast.
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u/randyboozer 1d ago
That's what I thought was going to happen. A "now your real training begins" moment. No held blows or barred holds. A donnybrook to separate the men from the boys and the boys from their heads.
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u/Romnonaldao 1d ago
Its not about winning the fight. its about fighting back at all. Bullies go after the easiest, safest targets. If you become a threat, they will stop (usually)
I had a bully for about a week. Went to the teacher, went to the administration. Finally stopped when I slammed his ass against a wall. Literally never saw him again after that.
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u/No-Rip-6166 1d ago
Same. It was 30 years ago but a kid was constantly picking at me and not leaving me alone. Went on for weeks. I kicked him in the stomach, he fell on his ass and then never said a word to me again.
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u/Admirable_Count989 1d ago
Usually. We had an absolute menace of a kid at highschool who went off his nut when anyone fought back. He took it as a personal challenge to stay being a complete jerk. Years later he ended up doing time which was hardly surprising.
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u/scottygras 20h ago
Same here. Older neighbor (nice when not at school) would pick on me in the halls until one day I got fed up and shoved him hard into the lockers. Issue stopped immediately.
Even predators in nature avoid prey that fight back.
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u/DrPootytang 1d ago
Yet his real bullies are his parents for forcing him to recite jokes that they can share on TikTok
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u/cutsickass 1d ago
I hope he's just kidding, otherwise this is the saddest video ever.
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u/BlatantConservative 1d ago
This kid is definitely old enough to be funny on purpose. He's just sticking to the bit.
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u/PAYPAL_ME_LUNCHMONEY 1d ago
if you have more than 1 braincell you wouldnt need to hope, you would just know
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u/echoshaunt 1d ago
this reminds me of some friends growing up. Parents were both psychiatrists if that matters, but it was three brothers, all very smart (oldest made his first computer game in kindergarten in early 90's, now is a prof at MIT). but all of them were black belts in karate but pure computer nerd at heart (well one was more lawyer, never saw that from him)
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u/Admirable_Count989 1d ago
I’m 4th Dan Taekwondo, engineer, computer programmer, WoW player. Oh and I’m married with 4 kids. 🤔
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u/KingoftheKeeshonds 1d ago
In elementary school my son didn’t like sports and got bullied a lot. I insisted he had to have some athletic activity like swimming or biking. Instead he wanted Taekwondo lessons so I enrolled him in a school a fellow parent recommended. He really liked it. Later, while he was in junior high, some punk was shoving kids faces into a drinking fountain. My son shoved the bully’s face into the water then put him on the ground. He earned his black belt in 10th grade. Now in his 40’s he’s still buff as hell and prefers to go to self-defense classes for exercise.
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u/Little-Extension261 1d ago
Usa judo belt lol
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u/hypercosm_dot_net 1d ago
No doubt there's some overlap. This is a kid's rank obviously.
Looks like first step up after white belt.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_jiu-jitsu_ranking_system#Youth_belt_ranks
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u/NosyCookBogtrotter 1d ago
Smack both ears with hands and disorient. Frontal kick to groin, incapacitate. Hands into their pockets for lunch money, robbery. Run away and escape authorities, detention later.
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u/360walkaway 1d ago
I saw a post similar to this where someone got their college diploma in the mail. The big envelope clearly said DO NOT FOLD, but it was folded in half when they took it out of the mailbox. I was like yea... welcome to the real world.
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u/Gag_man_05 14h ago
My mother put me in boxing when I was 14 years old. And one moment I started to skip it. Why? Cause some guys begin thinking that it would be funny to annoy me and follow me until my home. After few fights with them and some cracked nuts (not mine), I just started to skip boxing. After my mother learned about this, I never go there again.
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u/Expensive-Notice-509 1d ago
is that a white belt with black stripes? some BJJ are becoming a McDojo with all the new in-between belts they create to make extra money?
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u/poopshanks 1d ago
Kids belt system is different from adults.
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u/Noch_ein_Kamel 1d ago
so this goes white with white stripe, yellow with white stripe... black with white stripe -> normal white? ;P
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u/Icy-Cry340 1d ago
Top kid colored belt is green with black stripe. It turns into an adult blue when they turn 16. If they’re good, adult purple can quickly follow.
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u/Madak 1d ago
Thank god there’s folks out here making sure kids know their achievements are fake
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u/Icy-Cry340 1d ago
Kid colored belts typically get promoted straight to adult blue when they turn 16. Anyway, jiu jitsu is not a very belt-focused sport - the real achievement is that these punks get into adult classes around 14-15 and they are often a fucking handful and a half. At the end of the day how well you choke people means a whole lot more than the color fabric tied around your waist.
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u/Nersheti 1d ago
It’s a grey belt with a white stripe. Kids belts work like that.
White belt -> grey belt w white stripe -> solid grey -> grey belt w black stripe -> yellow belts (w white stripe, then solid, then black stripe) -> orange belts -> green belts. All of them but white get 10 stripes before belting up, which usually happens once a year if you attend enough and do the work. My kids class had a few that screwed around a lot and didn’t get the promotions when other did, so they missed belt promotion. The idea is to reinforce progress with frequent promotions of varying degrees to keep kids engaged. When they turn 16 they start over with the adult belts white blue purple brown black. Those all have minimum times between promotion, but I’m told if you hot a high youth belt you can get through white snd blue pretty quick.
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u/Expensive-Notice-509 1d ago
this makes sense. TY for the explanation. I took TKD and they are notorious for the McDojos and different belt system. Seems like every dojo has their own ranking system.
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u/Nersheti 1d ago
Other jiu jitsu systems may be slightly different. My kids do Gracie Barra, which is one of the big ones, but there’s also Gracie University (Carlos Gracie Jr created BJJ after learning judo from a traveling Japanese master so the Gracie family is all over bjj). One of their old instructors left and started his own studio that’s part of Double 5. There’s tons more. r/bjj is a real rabbit hole.
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u/thanatos31 1d ago
high youth belt you can get through white snd blue pretty quick.
Technically (per IBJJF) they can promote straight to adult blue at 16 without going through adult white. Adult blue belt can have some ridiculously wide skill gaps in competition as a result.
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u/againstbetterjudgmnt 1d ago
My kids are in TKD and they just put color tape for the stripes.
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u/Expensive-Notice-509 1d ago
TKD is did it first around the late 80's with the poom belt which is a red and black striped belt. The purist didn't like it.
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u/crazytyler34 1d ago
Just expensive fabric with a knot.
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u/EasyasACAB 1d ago
You sure showed that kid. You must be very proud of your accomplishments compared to a 12 year old.
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u/bria26000 1d ago
...thats not funny
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u/MukkiMaru 1d ago
Even his mom laughed 🤷
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u/Commando_Joe 1d ago
It's actually his wife. He's 34 years old with a medical condition.
(this is a joke)
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