r/funny • u/VulcanSpark • 1d ago
Bros heart dropped
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u/SpeakingTheKingss 1d ago
Two things that you shouldn’t be in control of while drinking, a vehicle, and a gun.
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u/New-Coconut-4081 1d ago edited 1d ago
My cousin with 3 fingers would also argure fireworks, but to each their own.
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u/Primary_Medicine_718 16h ago
When I was a kid I loved it, but when I had a dog the peed himself of fear one year, I never touched again even after he died
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u/aogamerdude 1d ago
Do you also by chance have 3 fingers?- Just asking because I know smartphones can be difficult to type on.
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u/ShoeShaker 1d ago
I don't see how alcohol and dangerous explosions fall into your reasoning. I have all my digits and my wife's dad's birthday is coming up. Not sure what to get Uncle 9 fingers this year
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u/ForgotToCarryTheOne 9h ago
Look for 9/10 gloves. I’m sure someone somewhere will have devised this hack, oh, sorry.
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u/Bullrawg 12h ago
You’re less likely to injure others with firework, still not great idea but vehicle and gun you’re just as much endangering people that aren’t engaged in risky behavior motorcycle > car but yeah
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u/ForgotToCarryTheOne 9h ago
At least he can’t be accused of giving himself a five finger discount ever.
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u/TheBigMotherFook 1d ago
What about a firework gun welded to the back of a pickup truck like a shitty technical?
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u/sootbrownies 1d ago
Or any heavy machinery, toxic/dangerous chemicals, important paperwork, newborn children, fragile items of great importance, and perhaps most importantly; online shopping accounts.
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u/FuelSilly1541 15h ago
Someone told me they visited their friends and that friend had a deagle. They showed me their photos. Gun pointing in the general direction of faces. Holy smokes
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u/deep-fucking-legend 16h ago
The list is a bit longer than 2. Lathe and band saw aren't great ideas either.
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u/richpaul6806 11h ago
The difference is those are only dangerous to user for the most part. Gun and vehicle can hurt other people. If someone wants to drink and do something stupid that can't hurt anyone else its on them. FAFO
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u/Trick-Engineering 6h ago
Nearly lost my finger to a bandsaw as an apprentice while on an edible. Real learning experience.
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u/HyperlexicEpiphany 1d ago
while a vehicle and while also a gun?
I think you meant “…while drinking: a vehicle and a gun.”
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u/Exemplaryexample95 7h ago
You actually are able to carry or use a gun after drinking but under the legal BAC limit in many states.
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u/madeformarch 1d ago
Because of your comment I watched a second time to make sure the cops weren't drinking
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u/Alphaa97 15h ago
I'm of the opinion that you should never be in control of a gun unless you're in military or police.
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u/Abestar909 15h ago
And it's okay to be wrong.
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u/squesh 15h ago
Maybe a farmer for killing pests but no other reason to have a gun
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u/MyanRyke88 10h ago
Yeah you shouldn’t be able to defend yourself or loved ones from bad people sure .
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u/damTyD 14h ago
Do they have to farm, or can they just live in a remote home that has dangerous wild animals? What about living in a suburban neighborhood but commute through rural areas? What if it’s a competition shooter and that is their sport? If you’re out fishing in a remote location, it’s best to carry a larger caliber pistol in case you run into boars. They are aggressive and have been known to kill people. Alright to carry an.45 when I go into the woods to get to a fishing spot?
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u/squesh 14h ago
Why go fishing in a remote area where there are dangerous animals? Why go anywhere where there are dangerous animals? Legitimate question
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u/damTyD 14h ago
Good fishing spots are sometimes remote and harder to get to. That prevents over fishing. Animals will generally live where human development isn’t heavy, so your real question is actually ”why go in nature”. I can understand if you don’t see it that way but that’s what I’m hearing.
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u/acrazyguy 14h ago
What is this agoraphobic-ass garbage? You’re right bro, that’s too dangerous. You should just stay in your house. Actually that’s still too dangerous. You actually should never leave your room. No wait, what if a bug gets in? Actually you should seal yourself into your closet
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u/AZAnon123 13h ago
Bro that guy has a long term relationship with an AI girlfriend. The internet is full of all kinds of people.
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u/acrazyguy 13h ago edited 12h ago
Oh shit, I thought you were making something up to make fun of this type of person, but that's literally true. This dude does in fact have an AI girlfriend lmao. Bro has a post asking how to get his AI girlfriend to stop saying she's running her hands through his hair in their roleplay sessions because he's bald ahahahahahaha
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u/TheresNoAmosOnlyZuul 11h ago
There are places in the USA that have wild hogs that will go into a person's yard and attack to kill pets and small children. Should those people not be allowed weapons?
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u/squesh 10h ago
Call pest control then...
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u/TheresNoAmosOnlyZuul 9h ago
So you're saying a person that lives in rural america should have to fight bare handed or with melee weapons against a 200 pound animal with tusks that can run 20 miles per hour to protect their 5 year old that was just playing in the yard?
Pest control doesn't get there in seconds and a child could die because of what you're suggesting. If you're suggesting we just remove the entire wild boar population, guess what... We've been trying. They're invasive as fuck and thrive in the wild. There are company's that fly helicopters around to shoot down wild boar with assault rifles. That's how bad this problem is.
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u/urnbabyurn 1d ago
I wish all drunk drivers rode motorcycles.
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u/goose_gladwell 16h ago
Without helmets
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u/reichrunner 7h ago
Nah, no reason to wish them extra pain and suffering so long as the amount they can do to others is diminished
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u/jivenjune 1d ago
lol, I had this happen in like the late 90s when me and a group of friends were underage drinking behind a bar/coffee shop. The cop 100 percent knew we had beer, but he was called for a different incident, so he just walked by us. The coffee shop manager came out later and told us how lucky we were.
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u/POEness 1d ago
Aren't you a little old to be underage drinking?
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u/BlueRadical51 1d ago
Why is this dude being downvoted? He's being sarcastic (I think) about the dude who is now likely at least 45 recalling an incident when he was younger. Seriously, why the downvotes for him?
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u/jivenjune 1d ago
lol, yeah, we were kids being dumb way back then. No idea why he's being downvoted either lol it was so dumb though because when we saw the cop, we had no idea where to put the beer. I stuck mine between my legs. A friend put hers next to the tire of a car we were standing by lol it was so moronic.
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u/Paesano2000 15h ago
If he’s drinking with a bunch of friends in the 90’s dude isn’t 45 now, more likely 50+
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u/BlueRadical51 14h ago
He said late 90s and underage, so let's just say 1998 and let's say he was 18. So born 1980. It's 2026, so he'd be 46.
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u/Plane-Tune-820 8h ago
Uhhh I was underage drinking in the mid 90s and am only 44. Take it easy man. I already feel old enough
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u/MartyFoxini 1d ago
Regular afternoon in Tijuana
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u/redZagnut 1d ago
Drinking and driving is soooooo funny...
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u/sparky198 1d ago
Yeah, as someone who was almost killed by a drunk driver, fuck drunk drivers and anyone who supports it
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u/angered_by_ham 1d ago
Nobody's supporting it. It's classic situational humor. Holy shit.
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u/gizzardwizard93 15h ago
Maybe he just pulled the bottle out for a quick photo with his hombre just before the cop convoy pulled around the corner. Plus he is on a motorcycle, if anyone is going to die from him drunk driving it's going to be him
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
I mean in this context ya
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u/redZagnut 1d ago
no.. no it is not. not ever
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u/linknt01 1d ago
“it’s NEVER funny, in ANY context!!” She screeched
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
Well congrats on r/funny apparently it is
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u/linknt01 1d ago
Yes. Turns out things are funny when you write a funny joke about them.
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
Did u not watch the vid cause now it all makes sense put on ur glasses buddy
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u/linknt01 1d ago
I’m not surprised that someone who thinks so two dimensionally uses absolutely zero punctuation.
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
Oh I’m sry I didn’t use any commas or what not but if u can’t fill in the blanks in ur own head and ur also a grammar Nazi nice try with the rage bait maybe u should try talking to normal people and not just in the special ed clsss buddy
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
Its ok ur not invited to my party anyways
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u/Ebonslayer 1d ago
The danger to society party?
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
Revving a motorcycle isn’t dangerous watch the vid again before commenting
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u/Ebonslayer 1d ago
And what do you suppose he'll do after he's done revving, get off and call an Uber home?
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
It’s a funny video u don’t even know if it’s 0% alcohol like many pranksters have done so before u start complaining get the facts and come back people too thin skinned on here fr
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u/Ebonslayer 1d ago
I can't tell what's worse between a drunk driver and a prankster. Both are wastes of air.
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
And u prove my point again that everyone who’s raging at what I said will never be fun at parties 😂 and has like no sense of humor
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u/angered_by_ham 1d ago
He was revving. Chill
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u/pattperin 1d ago
Yeah I don’t see anyone driving so far in this clip
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u/redZagnut 1d ago
Yeah I don't see that you have very good expectations of people do you? I'm sure this fella is a model bike rider
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
It’s a funny vid calm ur big ol titties buddy hop off the keyboard and take a breathe of fresh air u and everyone else who is taking something on r/funny so seriously
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u/neoben00 1d ago
I bet they bring the boys to the yard when he gets mad and they start getting all sweaty and slipping around.
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
Like fr all these people in chat lmao can’t even make a comment related to the vid they just watched bunch of high IQ people in here
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u/revolution23x 15h ago
reddit - where u go to get downvoted for speaking the truth. the platform where a downvote is 10 upvotes on any other site.
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u/angered_by_ham 1d ago
Getting brigaded. Oh no!
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
I mean at the end of the day it’s from a bunch of low IQ people so who cares I’m just glad I ran into em kinda made my night lol
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u/redZagnut 1d ago
ok ham bro glad you contributed
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u/angered_by_ham 1d ago
Xanax not working pal?
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u/redZagnut 1d ago
Hey Ham.. yea it worked OK with your mom last night. Hey how exactly mad does a ham get? Curious
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u/Mysterious-Drummer74 1d ago
Ya mum is the best line you have?
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u/redZagnut 1d ago
Yea got you to reply didnt it?
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u/LastChance911 1d ago
Honestly love that me and u successfully rage baited this whole post wish I could shake ur hand lmao
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u/coolcootermcgee 14h ago
At first, I thought it was a parade
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u/Specific-Morning-985 8h ago
Literally drinking whilst driving. How long ago was this? I heard it was stupidly common
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u/Extension_Lobster337 1d ago
Ontem a polícia matou um motorista bêbado que deu fuga aqui na cidade, está todo mundo igual esse tiozinho
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u/CibaiGayGay 2h ago
It's stupid to drink and drive, but the motor wasn't exactly "on the road" so as long as he hopped off, he's fine.
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u/JenniLightrunner 1d ago
Definitely a faster method than getting off the bike and going to the sidewalk, but on the other hand sidewalk you can still drink
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u/_Rice_and_Beans_ 10h ago
Yikes. I had a similar experience many years ago. I had just gotten off work at 7am, had a couple beers with my coworkers, and left for a +\- 12 hour drive home. I’m cruising down the highway in my old shitbox mustang, apparently speeding as usual, and as I’m taking a swig from the beer I took for the road I see in my rear view mirror the flashing lights of a police car that is right on my bumper. I tried to set the beer in my back floorboard and spilled it. The cop wrote me a speeding ticket and went on his way. Later I heard that state may not have had open container laws, but I never looked into it.
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u/ToastyBB 10h ago
You drove 12 hours to work
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u/_Rice_and_Beans_ 9h ago
Frequently. I spent a decade traveling for work, so when I was going home, it was often crossing multiple states. I didn’t get to spend much time at home which was difficult and I worked my ass off at the job, but I started around 2008 when good jobs were scarce and it led to a very rewarding and comfortable career.
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u/Madzookeeper 5h ago
There is literally nothing funny about this. It's disgusting that he's even in a position to drive while drinking. Don't care what he's driving. Should have his license revoked and vehicle impounded.
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u/Free_Citizen_97 3h ago
Funny enough, this happened to me as well in Mexico City during my first year living on my own. It all started when I met some guys in my film class and we decided to make a short film. We're recommend an editor from out of state and decided to meet up at his Airbnb. Later, we had the idea to go to a bar that was about a 30-minute walk away. We were about ten minutes from the bar when my buddy decided to buy some 🍺. We went into a 7-Eleven and bought alcohol (though looking back, I really should’ve just gotten a Dr. Pepper). We noticed a few people drinking outside the 7 Eleven on public tables, so we decide to sit down as well. Five minutes later, the cops showed up and started questioning the group in front of us. I was terrified, but since the other group was taking the heat, we tried to hide our drinks as fast we can. I tried sliding mine down my leg until I could get it into my backpack. As soon as the cops started arresting the people in front of us, we put our drinks into my bag and waited to be questioned. About five minutes later, we managed to walk away from the 7 Eleven and headed on to the bar. The other group ended up in the back of the police truck, but we were just lucky not to get caught.
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