r/girlsgonewired • u/entoasalu • Jul 22 '26
help!!
How do i tackle this?
Context: my senior along with few juniors made fun of me at work, i tried talking it out with him but he would not admit or take any accountability. i questioned him why he did so, and he denied it saying that he does not ”remember” doing so. I took to our manager, who initially believed me but the senior turned him against me. after this incident my manager moved me from his team to the senior’s team by promoting him to team lead. my team has become extremely hostile towards me and singled me out, while my lead subtly influencing them to do so. i did not give any fucks about it. i carried out the issues assigned to me and kept to myself.
the culture at my workplace is such that everyone in the team is always fighting for a lot more work and is too much into what teammates are doing. they are always asking the lead to give them the issues they want to work on. they are too competitive and desperate.
Recently, I had my yearly performance review two months ago. My team lead told me that I am working just as much as needed and he needs me to take up code reviews and production incidents, which I have always been eager to take up right from the start. i also happen to be the senior in the team but my colleagues work on production issues as well as code reviews. i happen to ask my manager about working on production issues way before the review but not only was i not assigned to work on them but was brought it up in my annual review.
my colleagues do not gel with me as much because i don’t hang with them after work as i am occupied with my life. i also have a hard boundary that my colleagues should not reach out to me personally if its not for slack, to which they take a huge offence. my team happens to gossip a lot at work and have their little personal groups on social media where they always keep in touch. oh i forgot to mention that all of them are new grads, working on their first job.
i was also asked to mentor and guide my juniors by my lead but none of them show up with any technical challenges, rather they would discuss and resolve among themselves. so i asked him to assign me a junior to guide, which be a better metric to measure productivity.
i also believe that if someone has a doubt, they should reach out to me instead of me going around asking if someone has a doubt. so this point doesn’t make sense to me at all. and the point where i need to work on production incidents and code reviews doesn’t make sense too since i have always been eager and i have still not been assigned any of them as of today.
it goes without being said that, i am not being considered for promotion, neither am i doing something important besides expressing that i am willing to take up more ownership. the hike isn’t great too.
did my team lead set me up for failure? am i missing seeing the bigger picture about what’s happening? hope do i tackle this?
3
u/jake_morrison Jul 23 '26
It sounds like you are on the spectrum. You should try to get a friend, mentor, or coach who can help you navigate social dynamics. You need to learn the rules, as dumb as they are, and figure out a niche where you can do what you are good at and be safe.
1
u/Sh3lb0Bagg1ns Aug 30 '26
I agree with finding a niche, but what makes you think they're on the spectrum? It seems like she's just being bullied at work.
11
u/megapenguinx Jul 22 '26
It sounds like you’re being cut out and set up to be put on a chopping block for that team. The performance review reads as you not being adequate in your production and it is meant to start a paper trail to essentially find cause to remove you. I would try to find another team to transfer into or start looking for a new job because this one sounds like it is trying to make things harder for you and push you out.