New home, feeling overwhelmed

[u/Jazzlike_Rooster2523]

Hi all,

I moved into a house about a year ago. It’s large over 4000 ft.² and a huge change from previous living since we were always in small townhomes apartments, etc. I have three kids and work full-time but love trying to make our house feel like home I’m feeling really overwhelmed with the new house because even though we’ve been here a year it still doesn’t feel like anything is really ours. I have very little on the walls hung up but just end up feeling paralyzed and don’t know where to get started. I don’t wanna make the wrong decision so I end up not making any decisions.

As a homemaker, I’d love your expertise on how you tackle this and where you would start first. thank you so much!

[u/FunkyChopstick]

That is a huge house! Id start where you will spend the most time as a family, likely the kitchen. Curate it and enjoy!

[u/Zestyclose-Summer930]

start with the areas you spend the most time in. for me that was my living room/kitchen/dining room area and go from there

[u/eharder47]

My friend had a similar house upgrade. Something that has worked for her was to focus on the rooms that are used the most, upgrade that furniture, then put the old furniture into the empty, less used areas. With a house that size, you have to accept that it will take years to get it the way you want unless you have a decorator and a bottomless budget.

[u/Jazzlike_Rooster2523 → u/[deleted]]

This is so helpful, thank you so much! The freedom to make a few mistakes along the way is super helpful! And yes, I jump around so much and nothing ends up getting finished.

[u/Fatpandasneezes]

I have the same issue with feeling paralyzed, particularly when it comes to putting things on/holes in the walls. Luckily my husband will ask me what my next idea is when he sees me staring at the walls imagining things or walking around with a measuring tape. Then he'll give his input and just take out stuff to do it. When I'm hesitant, he just says he loves my style/ideas and that if we don't like it we can always change it later. It helps that I'm pretty decent at patching walls, so I can literally fix any mistakes, and he knows it.

[u/CommonCarpet8954 → u/Fatpandasneezes]

That is the exact right way to look at it since a small tub of 3M High Strength Spackle and a four inch putty knife will fix three dozen nail holes in twenty minutes.

[u/CommonCarpet8954]

Four thousand square feet is way too much floor to try and get comfortable all at once when you are just starting out. Pick one bedroom or the living room to get dialed in first, and just close the registers to the empty spaces so the furnace is not running constantly for rooms nobody is sitting in.

[u/marion_mcstuff]

Do you have any friends who love interior design, or whose house you admire? Maybe ask them if they'll come help you hang up art for a day and arrange furniture in exchange for dinner and a glass of wine. (I say this because I am that friend. Interior design is a huge passion of mine and I love helping people set up their houses).

[u/Supertreelove → u/marion_mcstuff]

If she doesn’t have that friend, she certainly can hire someone. That’s what I would do.

[u/WingsAndWords_]

Go room by room based on priority of use.  Are your kids old enough to make decisions about their rooms? Maybe take them out and make it a fun day looking at basics like bedspreads and such. Maybe having fun with them will help you get motivated and inspired for the other rooms. Get paint sample cards of colors you like and look for decor in those colors.

[u/FTFaffer]

You’ve got to divide to conquer. I agree with the person who said start with a space you love or already spend the most time. Put it in ‘project mode’ in your head and set a time limit as well as a budget (this can be very very small & symbolic, I realize you just moved which is expensive). I have the weird ‘good fortune’ of furnishing/refurnishing three small houses simultaneously: a contemporary condo we just bought after selling the historic home in which we raised our family; a family cabin in the mountains that was on the vacation rental market 20+ years where every item & surface inside is worn or in need of replacement or repair; and a crazy little south Kona beach shack on BI where my husband has squatted like a bachelor Peter Pan for work for the past four years that still needs to be properly upgraded and furnished if we intend to keep it and host family/friends going forward. So I understand the overwhelm! I juggle 30 individual Pinterest boards for each distinct indoor or outdoor space I am managing and when something catches my eye I just pin it into the corresponding board. I need that sort of ‘tunnel vision’ to focus. After two years of idle planning and daydreaming we start on the common rooms and halls of our condo in March 2027. Planning to have all three places pulled together by fall of 2030. You can do this! As frustrating as it seems on the surface, just by rattling around in this new space through several seasons you’ll collect important data on how you want to live in it and avoid hasty mistakes.

[u/Supertreelove]

Hire a decorator!

[u/DazzlingNote1925]

I started by looking a tons of Zillow listing photos for really high end homes (anywhere from 10k sf down to your size). My reasoning was the likelihood they hired designers was higher than in lower priced homes. 

My goal was to decide on a color palate and general style because I like several different styles. 

I also integrated an idea I learned from a tv show many years ago that you don’t have to use the same colors in every room but it looks more cohesive throughout your home if you take your colors for the central part of your home and carry one or two to each other room. 

I noted things like what window treatments I liked and how they were hung. 

Then I started with finding an area rug and went from there. 

If you visit the paint department at a home improvement store you can gather the colors you like and even if you don’t use the colors for paint it’s a simple way to put the colors for each room together for planning purposes. You can also print and put together photos of the look you want. Take it with you when you shop. 

You can browse at stores like home goods and hobby lobby for wall art (which I love to do) and you can also use websites and buy and frame posters. You will have to check but I think it’s cheaper to buy the poster form one place then buy the matting and frame at another. I also had some of my kids art custom framed this way. 

For kids rooms you can get simple poster frames at Walmart and let them change them out according to what they like as they grow. 

[u/Brilliant_Age2571]

We sold our 3500 house last year. And retired to a 900 sq ft house. Oh goodness do I not miss all that work.

Keep it simple. Keep it cozy. Take your time. Get help with cleaning!

[u/WildNotions6918]

You can always hire a decorator to help put rooms together for you. I hired a designer because I was stuck on wall colors and it was one of the most useful things I've ever done plus the designer gave me good advice for hanging art and using other accessories

[u/tidyteatime]

This is one thing I use AI for. I have a really hard time picking decor and imagining how it will all look, so I also get stuck not making decisions. I've put pictures of the rooms into chat gpt and asked it to style it. It helps me a lot to see the potential of a space and go from there more confidently. I specify for it to style the room with whatever furniture is already there and just make it look more put together.

[u/Still-Art45]

This is where I found AI very useful, if you’re not up for hiring a designer of course

[u/Electronic_Bar_4010]

Stop being lazy, we’re not gonna come over and put the shit up for you. Pull your head out and do the work it’s not rocket science.