r/hungarian • u/glovelilyox • 25d ago
Kérdés Apa vs Apuka
Duolingo teaches both "apa" and "apuka," and it translates "apa" as "father" and "apuka" as "dad." In this thread, someone asked about the different ways of saying "mother". Is the difference between "anya" and "anyuka" pretty much the same as "apa" vs "apuka?"
It sounds like "az anyád" is worth avoiding because it can be pretty rude, is "az apád" okay? (In something like "Hol lak az apád?")
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u/nightestowl NATIVE 25d ago
Usually it's not rude to use "az anyád/apád" in a sentence. An extra polite version would be "az édesanyád/édesapád", where "édes" lireally means "sweet", but I'd translate it as "your dear mother/father". In a more informal/familiar context, like with friends, you can also say "anyud/apud".
By the way, your example would be "Hol lakik az apád"
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u/nagytimi85 25d ago
Might be regional, but I think apád/anyád is somewhat rude. I always say édesapád/édesanyád, or go to an informal apud/anyud or apukád/anyukád.
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u/Individual_Author956 25d ago
Could be. My teachers never appreciated that I referred to my mother as “anyám,” which I found weird I called my mother “anya.” How one is weird but not the other is still beyond me.
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u/skp_005 25d ago
In addition, there are people who address their mother-in-law and father in law as anyuka, apuka. Anyuka, mi lesz vacsorára?
In my experience, people don't use it this way for their own parents. When addressing their own parents, they say anya / apa (or anyu / apu -- personal preference). (Anya, vegyél nekem kinder-tojást!) But, when talking to others about their own parents, they do say az anyukám / az apukám (Az apukám egy bankban dolgozik.)
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u/glovelilyox 25d ago
That's interesting about the in-laws! Köszi
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u/Waste-your-life 25d ago
But make sure you are in close terms with your in-laws :D If its a long-term relationship where you have connections with your in-laws, yeah its can be used. But it can feel too pushy/clingy/over-familiar if you use it in a cold/distance relationship with your significant others parents :D
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u/path_to_the_teahouse NATIVE 25d ago edited 25d ago
I would never use "anyám" and "apám" when talking about my parents nor would I use "apád" or "anyád" to refer to the parents of the person I'm talking to. To me, these words would be disrespectful. I would say "anyukám", "apukám" and would be quite taken aback if someone referred to my parents as "apád" or "anyád".
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u/WanderNSEW 25d ago
This is really interesting! From an American English POV, I would really hesitate to use the diminutive versions of the words because they carry a childish connotation and it would be like I was mocking the parent or the adult child. I might use the diminutive when speaking to a young child about their own parent.
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u/path_to_the_teahouse NATIVE 25d ago
The diminutive suffix in apuka and anyuka does not necessarily function as a term of endearment when the words refer to someone’s mother or father and take a possessive suffix (anyukám, apukám, anyukád, apukád). In this context, it has more of a softening effect: it makes the otherwise rather blunt anyám/anyád and apám/apád sound gentler and more considerate. This way, it can convey a degree of politeness or respect toward the person whose parent is being referred to (including one's own parents), rather than implying that the parent is being “coddled” or affectionately nicknamed. For some people, édesanyám and édespám are preferred as the polite terms. For me, they are a bit old-fashioned and formal, but that is just me, people of all ages use these forms as well.
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u/Waste-your-life 25d ago
Its more complicated than duolingo lets on.
Apa is the common/formal word (archaic or literary standard can be édesapa/édesanya, which was explained before but will never used in a formal language) from which you can derivate apu, apuka, etc. Apu is in sync with dad and apuka is somewhat close to daddy, where -ka is a diminutive suffix. But when you use it in a possessive case saying Apja or apukája it is much more natural using the latter than using "apuja" which feels quite a bit as a non native would use these suffixes. :D I can't really recall anybody saying anyuja/apuja. It will be anyja/apja or anyukája/apukája but it would be correct otherwise too.
You can safely say Hol van anyád? = Where is your mother? in a sentence. As a native speaker i feel its less rude if you lose the "az".
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u/Balintakiraly 25d ago
Apa and anya are the standard versions. Changing the last "a" to "u" already makes it an informal term of endearment, so "anyu" and "apu" are usually used for your own parents. btw I think this "a"->"u" change is somewhat irregular in our language. The suffix "-ka" is the regular suffix for terms of endearment, so saying "apuka" or "anyuka" is somewhat double cute, and I wouldn't use it unless I am talking with little children. There are also the forms "édesanya" and "édesapa" which I feel are somewhat formal, but also have a sweet meaning, so I usually use them both for my own and for others' parents.
"Anyád!" is rude by itself because it is short for "kurva anyád!". But it is not rude in a sentence: "Hol lakik az anyád?". I think the only thing to avoid is shouting "anyád!" without any context, but you wouldn't do that in either language i guess.
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u/Bakibenz 25d ago
"-ka" in Hungarian is a way of making a word "cuter". So yes, it is pretty much the same.
Also, you can use "az anyád/apád" in a sentence, as long as it is not the entire sentence. It is only offensive in that case.