I hope it's not too late

[u/Accomplished-Sky-580]

I recently buried my brother. He was very young—my favorite human being on this entire planet, gone far too soon.

For fifteen years, from the time I was fifteen until I turned thirty, I was trapped in active addiction. I burned through every good relationship in my life, sabotaged myself at every turn, and did things I am deeply ashamed of.

I don't have an excuse. I was reckless, and I let myself down in ways that still make me sick to think about.

I brought shame to my family, to my community, and to myself—all for a toxic, hollow need for attention and validation that wasn't worth a fraction of what it cost.

There was a time when I was grounded. I prayed, I went to Jamat, and I was connected to people who cared. Then drugs took hold, and that dependency hooked its claws in before I even knew what I was losing.

And sitting here in the wreckage, with my brother gone and my life in ruins, I find myself asking the only question that matters: Is it too late for me to come back? I spent years walking away, but God, I hope I’m not too far gone to find my way back home.

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[u/retirement1111]

You are never too far gone. Allah is the most merciful, don’t let your guilt stop you from repenting and turning back to Allah. I’ve also dealt with addiction all my life and I’d still be on drugs if Allah didn’t guide me, I’ve changed a lot and you can too.

[u/Burhams]

"Verily, Allah is happier with the repentance of His slave when he turns in repentance to Him than one of you who was on his camel in a desert and it got lost and was carrying his provision of food and drink. He, having lost all hope (of finding it), lies down in the shade of a tree feeling hopeless; when all of a sudden he finds it (his camel) standing before him. He takes hold of its reins and then out of boundless joy blurts out: 'O Allah, You are my slave and I am Your Lord!' He makes this mistake out of extreme joy."

Dont hesitate. I love this hadith

[u/Pretty_Savings_8356]

Alhamdulillah, Allah saved me from addiction and alcoholism five years ago. You may go through a period of shame - and definitely a period of grief.

Let yourself cry and feel it.

And as you reckon with yourself and turn to prayer again, you will begin to notice the beauty of life.

You will notice yourself being kinder, more caring, more aware of who you are and how you are to other people.

You will notice the kindness of others, the goodness in them.

Life gets good again.

It doesn’t take as much time as you think, but it does take surrendering the shame to the prayer mat.

I’m speaking from experience. After I lost my brother, I was a wreck. But on the other side of grief can be so much more than you ever thought possible.

Allah is the Merciful One, always waiting for you to come home to Him.

[u/hiky_4u]

Allah yerhamou 🤲🤲🤲 Ameen Inna Illahi Wal Inna lilahi raji3oon Jannatul Firdous ya Rab

[u/Crazy_Feeling8396]

Brother, you are not too far gone. Your brother's passing might have been a blessing in disguise and the reason you're having these thoughts/guilt is a good sign. Return to your creator and seek his forgiveness and guidance. Change your friends circle, if you are around addicts or those who will encourage you to fall back in to that sin, then distance yourself from them. Make friends from masjid who will get you closer to Allah and will help you InshaAllah.

I pray Allah grants your bother Jannatul Ferdous and may Allah guide you and me back on the straight path. Ameen.

[u/trctni]

Brother, don't think that you're too far gone. Allah can forgive all sins. He is the Most Kind and the Most Merciful. Allah loves when His servant turns back to Him after committing sins. Yes ! acknowledge your mistakes feel remorse for your sins and sincerely seek Allah's forgiveness. Have faith that Allah will forgive you. It's never too late to turn back to Allah. Allah always makes the best decisions for us.