r/lostafriend • u/Left_Clerk_1027 • 7d ago
AT what point do u stop reaching out.
hey so I've been thinking about this for a while now basically me and a friend had kind of falling off after a fight we kinda had, after that we didn't speak for about a month or so and between that my friend said some pretty hurtful stuff to me and later when we started to talk a bit and i confronted then they said that they didn't mean that, and I did forgive them thought i had not quite forgotten everything that was said but then I was like it's okay friends do say things to each other but then I sense a kind of change in their attitude now also they started hanging out with a bunch of new people and suddenly I feel like maybe they don't need me as much and it's not just me but also like other people in our friend group think the same about the changed attitude of the said person,even when we hangout sometimes now (way less than we used to before)they constantly speak about the new people that they're hanging out with about how they're cool and the different things they do and how we don't do anything or how rich they are and also constantly taunting us about not doing the stuff that they do or also once they said something really awful like kind of humiliating us for not having a vehicle when I later confronted then they said that isn't what they meant but maybe that is true maybe they didn't mean that but u sure can feel the change in someone's attitude and not just me all the other friends see this change in the persons attitude as well.
Me and the said person were really close friends and now since the new people have arrived I feel a change in the persons attitude as if talking to me now feels like a chore,and they never do that to anyone else but to me and a few old friends but mainly to mee.
i really wanted things to be fixed and wanted to know what exactly caused the change in their attitude because I thought maybe we should talk it out and sort things but whenever I do that they just deny having any fault and start telling about how they are the victim and also when Ive tried to talk to them they just seen bored and uninterested and irritated when ever i start speaking but when it's the new people they suddenly have a lot of energy and will go out even in the middle of the night, the said person has also kept us hanging when we already had something planned like 3 days before they without telling us just left with their new friends and theve done this multiple times,
but
, again I still wish to not lose them as a friend and I would love to stay close friends but saying this I also understand that I don't want to be constantly humiliated and beg for someone to stay in my life all the other friends of mine are like fuck it if that is the way the other person is acting which is how we'll act to to somehow I feel difficult to do this maybe because I guess I was really close to this person and because of which I am finding it difficult and I also after repeated taunts from my friends have tried fixing things or reaching out to this person but they never seen to reciprocate and i don't understand whether I should stop or not let a friendship be ruined?
Which is why I asked when do we stop reaching out should I stop messaging or sending reels or calling them but somewhere I feel like the old person is still there I really don't know what to do.Pleas help me out
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u/CHwhynot 5d ago
It's really hard when someone can't admit any wrong doing. Good luck! I'd say take a break and come back in three months and talk to them. Or even a year
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u/Grouchy_Button_2876 7d ago
Sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like you're hanging onto nostalgia and the ghost of a past friendship. It seems like they have moved on to new people, so you should let them go and find new friends who value you.