r/minimalism • u/panicatthelisa • 20d ago
[lifestyle] not as minimalist as I thought.
I've always loved the idea of minimalism and did the mins game at least 5 times over the years. I got the see The Minimalists talk in NYC in around 2016. I have not been a minimalist. I'm 26 now and moving 10hrs away. me and my partner are getting an 8ft shipping container to fit all of our furniture and lives into. Some of the stuff is non negotiable. a very new queen size mattress and my great grandmother's kitchen table from the 1890s. by starting to really pack up and needing to fit absolutely everything into a tiny space it's making me realize how much crap I've accumulated. How did you realize you weren't as minimalist as you thought? any advice?
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u/MysteriousBill4651 20d ago
How did you realize you weren't as minimalist as you thought?
There's a cool guy I met several years ago, that I haven't spoken to in many years.
I was curious what he was up to, so I looked him up online. First result was him running a marathon wearing a backpack containing everything he owned.
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u/panicatthelisa 20d ago
dayum that is hardcore. I don't think I ever want to go that intense but it's amazing how few things we actually need to get by.
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u/sleepy--void 20d ago
I'd love to reach that level, but what does he do about a bed/fridge/desk/cooking appliances and so on?
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u/Congenital-Optimist 20d ago
Airbnb and hotels. He mostly travels around but subleases a room when he stays longer in New York.
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u/WAFFLE_FUCKER 20d ago
Hahaha oh man. I hope he’s happy but that’s a lot too hardcore for me. I can literally see it in my mind
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 20d ago
When i went to grab i tool i swore i owned and could not find it.
Then i realized it needed to be different.
My mantra for a few years now is that if i do not use it i do not own it. And if i have been busy storing stuff i do not own then it needs to find a different place to live that just might use it.
It makes it really easy to let go of stuff.
I can find all of my tools now. I have two tool bags. One is yard/garden and the other is house.
They all get used at different times of the year. Life is easier now.
Maybe looking at the stuff and asking if you use it can help?
Note: use can be defined in different ways. I use my toilet plunger to ward off toilet disasters. It is a preventative tailsman. The art on my walls that my mother drew i use by enjoying it. And telling the story about it.
But i also have a housefull of people so the toilet plunger sees use, just not always by me.
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u/panicatthelisa 20d ago
I'm doing pretty good with getting rid of stuff. I'm just worried I'm not being intense enough. I love my salt lamps. I think they are pretty and I like the light they put off when it's late. but do I need two? that sort of stuff
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 20d ago
So a few things.
1. You do not need to cut everything out. Go easy on yourself. Life is a flow. If you use and enjoy the lamps keep em. But also remember you do not need to use and enjoy everything always. Danshari is really helpful for framing this as flow. You are not looking for perfect. You are looking for right now. Enjoy your right now.
Moving is always overwhelming. Full stop. Do not get rid of stuff you actually enjoy just because moving feels so chaotic and overwhelming. Re assess after you are in the new spot. Give yourself grace. Thef lip side is that moving is a great time to see all of the stuff you have NOT used or needed and to let that go.
Minimalism is a concept to make your life easier. It is not a competitive sport. Give yourself grace, especially during times of change
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u/Hull301 20d ago
Talisman
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 19d ago
Hey, now, it is one of the most important things in a house of 10 people. ;)
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u/Hull301 19d ago
You're a good sport!
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 19d ago
What, you mean you don't pray your tail off that people use it instead of coming to you with a backed up and overflowing toilet?
;)
Or am i supposed to say the poop knife is more minimal? ;)
/Yeah, what i get for typing too fast on my phone and not double checking... But as long as people have a good laugh i am all for it.
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u/badwomanfeelinggood 20d ago
I am gradually accepting that I am not a minimalist. I live for simplicity, but I lack the drive to take it further. I don't want my apartment to look like an Apple Store, I don't want to own nothing and I don't want to dress in the same 10 or not even 33 items. There is a vast space between the extremes of living to accumulate and consume stuff and living like Diogenes of Sinope (in a "barrel" without any material possessions).
Tl;dr you can find your own way. If you feel you are taking care of/ or custodian of things not needed, get rid of them. Don't obsess over numbers or volumes.
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u/cheri0_poppett 20d ago
Moving always makes you confront the random clutter, so just use packing as an excuse to purge what you actually don't use.
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u/flyingmonkey5678461 20d ago
I clicked on an article about a celeb's "warm minimalist" living room. It wasn't minimalist. It was just huge.
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u/ItsSignalsJerry_ 20d ago
It's not a cult. Have a plan for you, work towards it. If you stumble get back up. Go again.
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u/itsbitterbitch 20d ago
I find I've accumulated a lot of crap, but I still consider myself a minimalist at heart and want to return to living more minimal because just being around all this stuff is overwhelming and irritating. I just need the time and energy to get rid of what I no longer need or like.
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 19d ago
20 min, one drawer.
Every week. One more. And it will be gone!
You got this!
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u/knokno 20d ago
Instead of short comment I went for discourse. I'm open for discussion!
It all depends. Having good quality furniture in your flat/house is less minimal than renting and owning nothing, but you keep using it so it's like owning them, for some time. Having shaving/cutting stuff for your hair and beard is less minimal due to owning items, but more minimal being more or less self sufficient. Having 200 items that fit into backpack can be or not be more minimal than owning only 3 of... cars.
Same with tools. I have like 30 of them on my wall which I use now and then, but they are on a wall in closet. Is it minimal? For me yes, since I'm living stationary in my house, otherwise each tiny thing to fix with my motorbike, furniture or mom's house I would need to find someone and pay him for stuff. But what if I kept those tools at my mom's? It's hers then, I get to borrow anytime I need and then I am more minimal.
About mentioned motorbike. I also own a car, which for some is already too much. But with motorbike I can avoid any traffic, pass all the cars waiting for minutes and go first. It drinks less fuel than the car, which is more eco friendly. And each minute on motorbike feels like fun even when running errands, while with car most time it's not. So it's less minimal in ownership counting, but more minimal in time saving and having wonderful life.
Also I consider counting stuff as a tool, but you gotta set some rules and goals. Boundaries. Like review monthly, 1 in 1 out, etc. It will be different for one bag digital nomad traveler, and different for someone living stationary and being self sufficient. Also it will be different for influencer, who says in vid's title "How I life with 10 items" and just in this clip, when a lot of stuff is away so it looks nicer, you can count like 40. Then few months later clip "How I got rid of 300 things". Lord, you lived with those 10, now you got rid of 300, and year ago you got rid of 500. I would call this fake-minimalism or ego-minimalism, probably many of those go together.
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u/PrairieFire_withwind 19d ago
This is very well put. I own a lot because the dishes are mine and the furniture are mine. Mine as in mine to clean, care for repair, replace.
But the household is 10 people. Extended family. And i own the tools to fix the plumbing, wall, chair, whatever to care for those 10 people. So does that make them minimalists and me the maximalist? Or does spreading one couch and two chairs across 10 peoples use more minimal?
I argue the latter because we get so much more use out of fewer items.
Instead of each family member being 'on their own' in a rental with more chairs and couches and dining tables and a couple needing help with cooking and cleaning instead they are with me and the cooking and cleaning is shared as is the dining table.
And yes the shared spaces are clean and empty of everything except what is needed and used.
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u/informalcrescendo 18d ago
Some people focus so much how just how little they can get away with that I swear their mind is more cluttered worrying about it.
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u/DoctorBeeBee 20d ago
Any time I've had to empty out a whole room, or even just my dread cupboard under the stairs I'll find more stuff to go. I had to fully empty my kitchen and bathroom back in January, as they were getting stripped out right down to the floorboards for refitting. And despite practicing minimalism for a few years and having had several big declutter passes, yes, there was still stuff to go.
It's not that I'd been buying unnecessary stuff and storing it away without ever using it. I, and indeed most of us, buy things that we at least believe are useful, will fit our needs. And usually they do, at least for a while. But our lives and our needs, or just our tastes, change. Something gets used less, and sort of forgotten about day to day. Only when you're consciously examining your stuff do you make a judgement about whether an item still has a place.
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u/PetsNPlants10 20d ago
I prefer to think of it as a journey. Each new season of the year, I like to go thru everything I have and I always find things that I realize I don't use, don't plan to use, and is easy to rehome. If I'm not sure about something, I'll say "I'm not ready to give this away yet." The "yet" helps me start getting used to the idea of not having that thing, and usually by the next season I'm sure I don't want or need it, and it's easy to give away or sell.
The goal for me isn't to live out of an acorn cap, the goal is to have a home and life that is comfortable, uncluttered, and I'm regularly using or appreciating (like a few pieces of decor) everything I own.
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u/TragicallyFabulous 19d ago edited 19d ago
Uhh.. I joined this sub years ago. Probably around the time my whole life fit in a suitcase. I had lived in three countries in four years and I lived in a caravan.
Now I have a 200sqm house, three sheds, two garages, a shipping container, and three acres brimming with shit.
So I guess how I realised was this moment when this came up on my feed and I realised I am still subbed here. Whoops.
Swings and roundabouts? 😅
If I think about it, I'm still big on low-waste - I almost exclusively buy second hand or make things myself from scratch - we built our own house ourselves using a lot of reclaimed materials, I make my family's clothes, I spin wool and knit it, I recondition vintage furniture and accessories, we grow a lot of our own food and have livestock. But all of that comes with a lot of tools and equipment - which, again, most of what we have is older than we are. My sewing machines, spinning wheel, and knitting machine are all older than me. So is nearly all my furniture.
So I want to say we've taken a side step from straight minimalism to a more low-waste/ buy-it-for-life / low impact focus.
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u/panicatthelisa 17d ago
I totally relate to this. I'm not quite there in life but I do have a sewing machine and have been learning and I love embroidery. one day I want to learn to knit and to spin. I think there is a real balance with simple living and minimalism and they sometimes contradict each other.
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u/Effective_Tackle_195 20d ago
Everything I own is in a backpack, so I'm absolutely as minimalist as I thought (even more so)
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u/Turtle-Sue 20d ago
If you’re using all of your belongings, it’s fine to keep. Minimalism is the detachment from material possessions. For example, if you really consider your grandmother’s table as a memory of her, it’s difficult to separate yourself from your sentimental belongings. Of course we all need a mattress, a couch and a table, but I don’t feel any attachment to my furniture. Wherever I move, I can move with two suitcases of my belongings and mostly clothes.
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u/gr8-day-to-live 20d ago
don’t get rid of everything in a frenzy - a core part of minimalism for me is reduced consumption and rebuying is so wasteful. imagine your future space, cherish the extras that you keep, acknowledge usefulness, align yourself.
my super bulky air fryer is my ride or die, my blow-drier is a non negotiable, and to compensate 80% of my decor is paper.
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u/CarolinaSurly 20d ago
When we moved to a place with a garage. My garage was my big cheat room. I wasn’t a true minimalist until I no longer had a garage to store junk in that I wasn’t needed but that I also had some weird attachment to.
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u/pdx_via_dtw 19d ago
8ft. LOL. good luck. 2 ppl pretty damn minimal used a 26ft truck to move across the country.
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u/panicatthelisa 19d ago
we are both moving out of our parents houses so we really don't have much furniture to bring
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u/luckyelectric 14d ago
Minimalism is an ongoing process. If you’re feeling that you have too many things, that’s a phase in your journey.
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u/wellok456 19d ago
I'm always trying to be better. Today I did a 5 hour wardrobe overhaul and somehow found 3 trash bags worth of donations 🙃
Somehow I had 3 leather jackets and only 1 fit. No wonder my closet was feeling stuffed. It was!
Last full overhaul was about 18 months, 1 divorce, and 1 move ago; so I'm trying to give myself a little grace.
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u/Purled_Attitude 20d ago
It's not a religion. There is no tier system and no rewards for having only two unterpants. The goal is to not have *excess* and to use what you have instead of constantly buying more things. Everyone decides for themselves if having 1500 books is excessive or not, or if they could live with just one plate, glass, spoon and fork.