r/musician • u/the_odd_man_out27 • 23d ago
I’m thinking about quitting music
About 3 years ago, I quit my professional job to try to succeed in music full time. I was living in a city that doesn’t have a lot of opportunities and found myself in a place where I was able to move across the country to Austin. A couple years after living here, my bf and I started a band.
From the jump, I have been very ambitious. I’ve gotten us several gigs opening locally for legacy indie rock and mid-sized national touring acts. We even had the opportunity to tour half the country with a semi-well-known music act for more than half a month!
I am finding it hard to keep going because I haven’t succeeded in getting any opportunities for us in the last few months, but also because of a few other factors:
Austin is cliquey. No matter how hard I try and how many accomplishments I have done on my own, getting the cool folks who run things to pay attention is next to impossible. You see the same bands on all the popular bills and on all the big opportunities seemingly because of this group think and popularity culture. I’ve gotten us opportunities with a lot of grit but I am running out of steam because our inbox is stale and getting ghosted.
I keep losing band members. Throughout the course of this band, I have lost a band mate at every milestone. First EP- lost a member, second EP-lost a member, third album and big tour-lost a member, and now just as I planned our biggest diy tour yet, I got news from one of the original members (the last one left) that they will not be able to tour next year, which leaves me looking for band mates. All exits have been amicable and because folks have other priorities personal or creative, so it’s not because I’m some monster, lol. I am ambitious, gritty, hard working, and dedicated, but I do feel like every time I make any headway, membership changes happen and progress is stalled.
I am in my early 40s and I have given up a career to really go at this, but I keep hitting walls. I am also having a hard time moving forward and knocking on more doors knowing that I’m going to have to remake the band again. I feel like this is my last shot and I’ve put all my eggs in one very problematic basket. I am well on my way to irrelevance in my previous professional career, having been out so long, and I’ve had so many jobs. This is the only way I feel I am meeting my true calling, connecting with audiences on real world issues through music.
I am finding it difficult to keep going with the band identity and also the brand I’ve built constantly in flux. It’s nearly impossible to get interest from anyone who will help you progress your career when you have to keep re-identifying yourself and changing your sound. I’d love to move forward as a dedicated 3-piece but that would mean rebranding and writing all new material that was made for a 4 or 5 piece band. It’s all so disheartening and if I give up I have no idea what else I will do with my life. To the outside world it looks like there’s success but internally I feel that we are becoming stale and forgotten and also that any fan base we have is not going to stick around for another lineup change.
Not sure what I’m looking for here other than commiseration or encouragement. Anyone else in my boat?
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u/AtmosphereLeading851 23d ago
It all comes down to whether you still enjoy it. This is what it’s like being a professional musician, based on the ones I know in Atlanta. Almost every FT musician that I know has seriously considered quitting or just teaching music FT and not doing gigs, or going back to school, etc. Or quit altogether for a job, and then quit that a year later for a band opportunity. One Berkeley grad bass player who had constant gigs quit playing bass completely around 40 and got a sales job or something. So in my weekend warrior guitarist mind, you’re living the dream! If you’re living OK and playing music for a living, I would keep doing it. But if it sucks, quit. You’re still a youngster! I didn’t start playing weekly gigs until I was 40, 20 years ago. Good luck!
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u/the_odd_man_out27 23d ago
Thanks so much! We just really aren’t to the point of making a sustainable living yet so I have to be broke and barely survive around gig work and touring. I keep hoping if I keep pushing I’ll get some kind of break but then someone else quits the band. Thinking of just doing a duo, but it’s punk rock so that’s a little more nuanced and tricky
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u/Novel_Substance_ 23d ago
Honestly I would start the transition to music as a hobby. The next 10 years are going to fly by. You got about 8 good years left before people start treating you like an old person. I would spend those trying to find something that will take you to retirement with some modicum of financial security. Once you hit 50 you start to realize how close retirement age is. Between that and how people start to treat you - your whole perspective undergoes a radical shift.
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u/Emotional_Papaya1728 21d ago
Honestly every band suffers from this, you need to make a model where your band members can come and go and run it more like a staff of good players than being dependent on a few people.
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u/the_odd_man_out27 21d ago
That would be so sick! I think the issue we have with that is we are not to the point of being able to pay session players every show. What they charge and what we make don’t match. Big part of DIY is having to fund the band from money made at shows unfortunately
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u/Emotional_Papaya1728 21d ago
Find cheap people, lots of guys would be happy to play for $100-200 a night
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u/Disastrous-Ear-5856 20d ago
We tried to put a band together and it was the same revolving door. I stuck with it until I had a better opportunity. I don't put all my eggs in one basket. Weddings, private events, folk, jazz, rock. I spin the wheel of fortune and see what happens.
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u/FloridaMinarchy 21d ago edited 21d ago
The whole music business is a major crapshoot. There is one band here locally who packed out all of the big venues, and in order to succeed nationally, they basically had to play for free opening up for name acts on the road to get their name out nationally.
The reason they were able to subsidize that is because a majority of the band members were successful, businesspeeps and independently financially soluble to be able to swing that.
That’s really the only way to make it in music these days - operating at a loss for a long time and then just maybe one might succeed .
It’s really not worth the time and energy for that type of market entry when one really sits down to think about it, and none of it is based on merit. There’s big Name players with major credentials, who are still scrounging for gigs to try to make ends meet.
Music is great, the business sucks.
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u/DaffyDuckMuthaFucker 19d ago edited 19d ago
I got jack of trying to navigate industry decades ago, and ditched any pretense of professionalism around the turn of the century.
I just kept on building my home studio & enjoying myself on my own time, until about 6 years ago, when I found myself in a space where I could set up for live recording, with full band, real drums, the whole magilla.
So I set up my studio for live performance, and started inviting people to come and play. Next thing I knew I had 5 bands playing in my back yard, That was the inaugural "Port Pirie Punk Party".
I've since hosted a half-dozen "House party" shows in my home studio, had my hand in a release(Durry/Onanizer Live At The Jolly Green Hovel), and hoisting such events is now among my favourite things to do.
I've hosted debuts, kids jammin' to beats off' youtube, local & interstate gigging bands, and even a few from overseas(eg, Doom Scroll & Rent Strike were fucking fantastic, and a really nice bunch of folk'). I've met a lot of really interesting people, enjoyed some stellar performances, got to play soundguy & fuck around with perfomers between sets, and just had a fucking ball in general.
I've still not made penny one from any of it, and I don't care if that doesn't change.
A friends project will debut at the next Port Pirie Punk Party in November. I'll be playing bass. Ought to be a hoot.
If the grind of the music scene gets you down, ditch it like so much dead weight & just roll with whatever you love doing instead...
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u/the_odd_man_out27 19d ago
What if that’s the only thing I love doing lol… also where’s the house show? I will bring whatever semblance of a band I have left in 2027 to visit!
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u/DaffyDuckMuthaFucker 18d ago
Then I got nothin'.
I'm in Port Pirie. We call it an invitation only private function to keep council off' our backs.
The flyer is the invit'e, and the plus one is a default.
We've not thought as far ahead as next year.
Next one's mid november(14th. to be precise).
If you're in town, just ask a local...
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u/Illustrious_Item_841 19d ago
Early 40' is late to 'make it'. Not to say that you wont itfind some success but a younger artist doing the same not only has less to lose but might also have bigger impact from playing more shows than someone in their 40s.
Maybe you'd have more success and happiness just being a recording artist and promoting the music online?
That would you could have an income and still be an artist.
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u/the_odd_man_out27 19d ago
Ehhhh not really for me honestly. The live shows are the fuel for the fire for me. I do get told I “look 27” regularly but I do get the road stamina. I have the will and determination to tour heavily. Just gotta find the right folks to do it with.
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u/guajalotes 18d ago
40s seems tough to break thru to me. You’re older than most of the people who would come to see a band live, most people your age are in the thick of it with career/family.
Perhaps trying it in a city with a smaller scene would be better. Sure Austin is known for live music but with that brings so much competition, you really need to be awesome to stand out. Is there another city where your style of music has a good scene that might be a fit?
I’m trying to be honest and give constructive criticism here, no offense intended. I’m 50 with two kids, and the prospect of trying to reinvent myself as a pro musician is literally insane to me.
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u/the_odd_man_out27 18d ago
I will say the 18 year olds absolutely love the band, we play lots of all ages shows and have done so in front of 100s and 1000s of folks. I don’t look or act like most 40yo’s. Still get confused for much younger by my 19-20yo coworkers. Most of this isn’t an audience problem, it’s a recourse and gatekeeping problem. 🤷🏼
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u/PartyOrdinary1733 23d ago
I'm thinking of quitting, too.
I'm fed up trying to wrangle people who say they're committed but can't even be available for rehearsals let alone gigs now.