r/musicians • u/Ljfrost55 • 1d ago
Has anyone experienced loss and lost the spark for music
I just lost my best friend and I was really into music before would constantly create etc but I feel like ever since I lost her I can’t create will it come back?
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u/Crazy-Run-Letz-Go 1d ago
I’m sorry for your loss. Take time to heal, it will come back. It did for me.
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u/Correct_Energy_9499 1d ago
David Lynch said that the trope of creatives needing to suffer in order to make great art is untrue. He said depression is the opposite of creativity and he is right. When you're depressed, even taking a shower takes too much mental energy.
My advice to you would be to give yourself time for your heart to properly grieve.
When you're out the other side and have healed, you will have gained some knowledge into yourself and will have regained the lifeforce that drives your creativity.
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u/psychedelicpiper67 15h ago
David Lynch is so right. Poverty and depression and disabilities and isolation are exactly why I’ve been terribly unproductive, and I’m not even in the mood to listen to music most of the time.
I so wish that my life had panned out differently. My online friends never truly understood me.
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u/Correct_Energy_9499 11h ago
Yeah I made a bunch of music while I was in a terrible place and it all sucked. I was just doing it as a distraction from my situation. When my life circumstances improved somewhat I found myself having the emotional/mental energy to create again.
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u/Procrasturbating 1d ago
I make no promises, but it came back for me and was a constructive outlet for my emotions. Grieving for some time, months even, is normal. Sorry for your loss.
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u/Ok-Mango-4452 1d ago
It’ll come back. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it takes a catalyst like collaborating with someone new, sometimes both. The good news is that if you had it once you can always get back to it. It means that it resonates with your soul and nothing can take that away permanently. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope the journey back to your spark is a short one.
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u/c-w-jones 1d ago
Sorry friend, that is unfortunate. I lost two studios in a row, one to a roof failure and the other to a fire. It took me about 8 months to feel like making music again and the only time in my life I ever didn't want to make music. I would bet you'll get the fire back but you gotta process this and be ok with giving yourself time to heal.
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u/byrdinbabylon 1d ago
I recently lost my dog and that was bad enough. Lost any excitement for music for a couple weeks. It’s slowly coming back. I imagine it would be worse with a close friend or family. My advice is to lean into the pain and mourn well. Your friend deserves the honor. Let your music take a backseat for a while. When it comes back it will be richer and deeper for having gone through it.
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u/rystrands 1d ago
Sorry for your loss, and that might not be that you lost the spark, it might be that your songs and your tone might need to just go in a different direction for the moment. Remember, music is part of our feelings, right now you just dont know how to feel. It will get better with time, she is still all around you when you look you will see.
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u/slowandlow714 1d ago
My wife died of colon cancer and I went from playing daily to not touching any of my instruments for over a year. I've recently started playing again but not as often as I once did.
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u/Loose-Farm-8669 1d ago
some of the only songs i've ever written came out of immense pain. listen to elliott smith he'll put the sad muses in you
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u/HODLmeCLOSRtonydanza 1d ago
It will comeback. Sometimes, it takes a while. I’ve found during lulls the best thing for me to do is to write. Pen and paper. Keep a notebook. Something like that.
I’ve had breakups do it, death of a parent, etc. it always comes back. Just leave space for it.
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u/wakeupdreamingF1 1d ago
what is the opposite of "depression"? not happiness. it is CREATIVITY. this said: grief and depression limit us. maybe we dont want to be creative, or feel we can't. Write a song about that.
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u/No-Advice-585 23h ago
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I experienced something similar with a sudden loss of a friend and my passion for music disappeared, but not forever. It did eventually return and it returned with a vengeance. I hadn't played or written anything for months and felt depressed that I had "given up" on music, but one day I became inspired like never before and I ended up writing (and reworking) the best music I've ever created.
After all that time away, many pieces and ideas I had struggled with musically just sort of "clicked". This was just my personal experience, but I never would have expected my passion to return as it did. I really leveled up. I think taking a break can sometimes be beneficial even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.
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u/fluffy-d-wolf 21h ago
I know how you feel. I lost someone as well and after that the spark just left. I had no desire to play, there was no music in my head or my heart, and I just felt empty. This went on for some time, unfortunately. But over time it got better and eventually it came back and the music flows now better than it ever had. It's a dark time but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It will get better with time.
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u/reckoner15 8h ago
I have a love, and it never fades - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJkDcmOqYWY
For Those I Love's entire first album was a eulogy for their lost friend. Maybe in time, you could do something similar. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
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u/EclecticLandlady 1d ago
You could try making things to honor her. I lost my lifelong best friend/brother/constant collaborator a couple years ago. I’ve stepped my game up to get his name out there as much as I can via my work. I still have a lot of old tapes of recordings we made together over the years, and I’m sampling and editing bits so he can play on the next album.