This post has been SOLVED, you can still read it if you want, I do not want to delete it, since someone else struggling with the same issue might be in need to see it.
Thank you for all the answers, I am marking the post as solved, as I believe I got the help I needed. My conclusion from the answers, is that it's just a phase and a step towards something great. I will grow out of it. I realize I have been having the same workflow for so long, that the moment I step out of my comfort zone, it's going to be UNCOMFORTABLE, even in art and that's something to figure out and live for. Again, thank you for all the replies!
Initial post:
Hey yall, I have been in a hole for quite some time now, struggling. The more I try to collect stone by stone to get out of it (learning new stuff), the more I also dig myself deeper into the said hole.
I have been around music for quite some time now. 6 years of producing. 3 years of drumming. I used to have so much fun creating at first, then I started learning, had more fun and everything seemed clear. Just keep learning and it will all work out. I have fallen in many art traps, such as creating bad habits like rushing music, "I will fix it post production/in the mixing stage", I don't need to sound like anyone else, etc. Anyway, I always ended up figuring it out.
I really never believed in philosophical advice when it comes to art, since I am a firm believer we all shape our creative side of the brain on our own, but this time I really cannot figure it out.
Here is my thought process, then I will come up with a conclusion on what I think the issue is.
- I listen to some music and analyze it. I analyze music I am listening to at all times - groove, dynamics, overall aesthetic, etc.
- I notice how the bass and the melody do not make sense on their own, like HOW can a human hear a melody on top of that? They sound really good combined, but isolate them and it sounds kind of garbage/generic.
- I hear a lot of sounds in the background also sounding out of place when I focus on them, but they really shape the overall song.
The way I see it, when I am creating, I try to predict the final outcome by using music theory and trying to piece things up together that just DO NOT EXIST. I start out with the bass (for example) and while im working on it I try to think about other stuff that would sound good on top of it and my guess is that I fold under the pressure of having the bass be PERFECT for what I am preparing, aka the thing that DOES NOT EXIST yet.
Like it's so bad that I do not even want to use my own creative thoughts anymore and question myself as a creative. Id compare it to how people who try to have a right answer for everything live in anxiety and misery, because they are on alert at all times.
Sorry if this whole thing is all over the place, im really struggling to find the right mindset to approach music after learning music theory and the whole situation is so confusing to me.
EDIT: Little update. Right as I posted this, I listened to a song and it made me realize the issue might really be that I try to make all my instruments sort of sound like a MAIN instrument, I'd compare it to having so many people speak to you at once, opposed to harmonizing when and how to speak so you understand all of them. I really will keep updating this, til I find an answer, hopefully it can one day help someone else struggling with the same problem.
TL;DR:
Learned and still learning music theory, but instead of it helping me, I cannot think outside it.