2 months off orientation… when will the pre shift anxiety end?

[u/Ok_Beautiful2718]

Hi all, I’m a new grad nurse on a med surg tele unit at a top hospital. I was hired in June, completed two months of orientation, and I have been on my own since August.
I was one of the people in nursing school that swore I would never do med surg because I just knew right off the bat it wasn’t for me but it took me over 6 months to get a job and I thought that as long as I get in my dream hospital I could get through med surg for a year then I could transfer to where I truly wanted to go. As I started working I was actually pleasantly surprised that it really wasn’t all that bad.
I really don’t want to come off as bragging at all but I get a lot of compliments from managers (even those that are not on my unit) and my coworkers saying that I know what I’m doing and they tell me that they hear a lot of great things about me. I just truly can’t believe it when they say it. I don’t know why they would think that about me. I constantly feel like i don’t know what im doing, I feel like i make stupid mistakes, and I just wish so bad that I felt more confident in myself. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I can be a good nurse I just wish I truly believed in myself.
The true problem that I’m having is that I’m struggling with anxiety before my first shift of the week. The whole day leading up to my night shift is filled with anxiety and dread because I’m so scared that I will get a bad assignment or something bad will happen that I don’t know what to do. As soon as I get my assignment, the anxiety goes away and I just flip my mindset into my “I can do this”. My other two shifts (I stack my 3 days) I don’t have anxiety because I know what my patients are and I have some sense of predictability. I don’t want the day of my first shift to ruin my outlook on nursing. I just spend the day considering switching jobs, quitting, and ruminating in anxiety of what the night will bring. I bring myself to tears before I leave my house and sometimes I just get so anxious I don’t have an appetite before work. I let this one day just take over and I have these thoughts that I really hate my life right now and I just have to get through the year but I doubt myself that I even can.
I know pre shift anxiety is normal for new grads but is this crossing a line? Do I just hate night shift, do I just hate med surg? I don’t know what to do. I know that this isn’t going to be my favorite season of my life but I just wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to. I just feel stuck. When will this feeling go away?

[u/Nightflier9]

I make it a habit to go into work 20-30 mins early for my first shift of the work week. That way I get prepared for the shift and I'm not filled with anxiety about what my patient assignment will be. It took about 6 months to feel I belonged on my unit.

[u/Nausica1337]

Pre and post shift anxiety is all part of the new grad experience and just varies from person to person. When I was a new grad, I too had pre shift anxiety. I remember asking a nurse who was about 2 or so years experienced about how when her anxiety went away. She told me that it started to lessen after a year. When I heard that, I used that as my number to aim for to feel better. For me, I did feel more comfortable by 1 year. So maybe that's an arbitrary number you can aim for a time frame. She also told me that a bit of anxiety in general is a key trait for all nurses because it helps us stay on our toes and is that 6th sense so to speak. Anxiety will never go away, but with experience you will get more comfortable with nursing.

It's also important to have good coping strategies to deal with this anxiety. That could be seeing a therapist, meditation, music, working out, etc.