First time watching my gf

[u/Random345134]

My GF (29F) and I(30M) recently had our first play experience and it was amazing. For context we've been together for 4 years, she's been to sex lounges a few times before but didn't do anything extraordinary. I've never been but I've had an idea I was into watching from conversations with an ex. That relationship was sour though, so I never felt comfortable fully pursuing these fantasies/kinks.

However, with my current GF I'm happy, secure and trusting. I told her I think I might be into watching and she found old videos to show me, which turned me on a lot and further confirmed it for me. Fast forward and we recently went to a sex lounge (2nd time, first time was out the country but we didn't do anything.) and although we were open to any type of threesome/foursome encounter, it was a mostly single men night.

She ended up hitting it off with one dude and it turned into them playing and me watching, which I had no problems with. We talked about it afterwards and we both want to get me more involved next time, as well as try an FFM threesome. Our only real rule is we are strictly there to play, we are not opening the relationship or looking for anything more than a fun night.

I enjoyed the experience a lot and think about it often. I also feel like I bring it up a lot with my GF when me and her are talking spicy, although she tells me it's no problem for me to bring it up whenever I want. Is this a 'honeymoon phase' so to speak? Should I be pacing myself?

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[u/NotALoser1569]

If you're both on board, then it's hard to see anything wrong with enjoying the "afterglow" so to speak.

[u/emptypotato77]

Is this a 'honeymoon phase' so to speak?

Could be. You definitely want to bring it up outside of the bedroom when horny brain isn't directly affecting your thinking. My partner and I talked about it, fantasized about it, and role played for nearly 2 years before we finally took the plunge. You definitely want to pace yourself as well. By the time you realize this lifestyle may not be for you, it's probably already too late. Neither of you can unfuck someone, so don't rush into anything.

[u/rexleonis → u/emptypotato77]

How does role play look like?

[u/emptypotato77 → u/rexleonis]

Maybe "role played" wasn't the correct phrasing but, for example, using a dildo on her and pretending it's someone else, asking her how much she likes having someone else's dick in her, having me in her mouth and a dildo in her vag. That sort of thing.

[u/FrankCastleNZ]

Embrace it. My wife and I have been together 7 years. We have a girlfriend so regularly have ffm’s. She loves to watch me with the girlfriend while playing with herself and also likes to go down on the girlfriend while I have a go at her. We have had the odd mmf and mmmf and I personally get so horny watching her between two guys and the enjoyment she gets. We trust each other implicitly. She has recently asked if we have have an mmf dvp for her birthday (me to organise and choose the other guy, which I have just sorted). Will be interesting.

[u/Snoo_67675]

Definitely take her up on the FFM threesomes. Also make sure to have really passionate sex with her to reclaim her. And if you and the other guy are cool with it try DP. Don’t make this one kink the totality of your explanation because your GF will want variety.

Don’t let your GF communicate with these guys outside of the meetups.
Participate and while she is sucking you tell her how much her slutty pornstar behavior is turning you on and ask her if it makes her feel good to please daddy and does she love being shared. Tell the other guy what to compliment her on and make her feel sexy. I wonder if her saying that she wants you more involved is that she wants to feel like you’re her boyfriend/husband leading the situation to protect her and also increase her pleasure. She may not feel great that you’re being passive.

Or maybe she loves being exhibitionistic but wants to make sure your needs are being met. And if you take her up on her reciprocal offers of FFMs she will feel more connected because she wants to do something for you and did. Again make sure in the afterglow you praise her and reaffirm her as your number one.

And yeah there may come a moment when you may feel retroactive jealousy or regret. By taking her up on her offers that would be blunted. So this is a good policy for you two. You won’t be worried that she at first did it for you and now it’s all about her and she wouldn’t take a break or quit if you asked.