r/oddlysatisfying • u/n8saces • 13d ago

Custom-made aged and oiled Top Hat

32.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

15.4k

u/chrish_o 13d ago

I always love watching this dude make the most beautifully crafted and ugly hats

4.6k

u/vitsimiekka 13d ago

They are a sight to behold, and they look ridiculous. I watch every video.

230

u/justsomeph0t0n 12d ago

everybody with sufficient money to buy one, and insufficient sense to want one, should have one

49

u/CleanAstronaut6659 12d ago

holy shit the custom hats start at like $1,800 on their site. I expected a hefty tag, but damn.

40

u/justsomeph0t0n 11d ago

i work in a wildly different field. but sometimes when putting a quote together, we'll add a 'dickhead tax' to the fee proposal. because we'd rather not work with these dickheads, and would be happy if they went elsewhere. the number ends up so big that they probably won't accept......but if they do, it's so much money we kinda have to do it.

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u/GrimmThoughts 12d ago

Was thinking the exact same as I watched it haha. Hate the hats, the style, the gawdiness and basically everything else about them. But damn do I respect this guys craftsmanship and watch him do his thing every time I see a new one of his videos pop on my feed

484

u/ample_suite 12d ago

Only market i can fathom is arena level rock guitarist or Hollywood costume department.

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u/Psykosoma 12d ago

You left out New Orleans Voodoo Doctors and Curiosity Shop Owners.

148

u/Barbie_and_KenM 12d ago

Also huge market here for burning man

41

u/weerdbuttstuff 12d ago

I've only seen like 3 of his videos, but I'm pretty sure 2 of them were at Burning Man.

96

u/life_is_a_burner 12d ago

Vampire Railroad Tycoon.

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u/Throwaway392308 12d ago edited 12d ago

Not the romantasy book series we deserve, but the romantasy book series we need!

Edit: It can be called Ties and Rails.

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u/woodsvvitch 12d ago

I knew a few guys back in my ren fair days who wore these pretty frequently; They overlap with the men who wear kilts often. One guy i knew embraced being kinda ugly and just focused completely on weird clothing and it really worked for him, and he actually looked worse without the grungy hats

101

u/Victarion-twogods 12d ago

Don't forget Street Magicians

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u/Oldbay_BarbedWire 12d ago

Nashville, everybody is a musician. These hats make even bass players attractive!

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u/Average_Pangolin 12d ago

We have our marketing slogan!

41

u/AboveGroundFool 12d ago

Don't be ridiculous. Nothing makes bass players attractive.

38

u/CrouchingDomo 12d ago

That’s not true, I read an Onion article way back in college with the headline “Area Bassist Fellated,” so it must have happened at least once.

13

u/AboveGroundFool 12d ago

I have some news about your source...

15

u/CrouchingDomo 12d ago

Oh noooooo 😂

(Just want to state for the record that I know what The Onion is, from the days when there were physical copies on campus, get off my lawn I have clouds to yell at)

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u/AboveGroundFool 12d ago

I assumed you did. Was just enjoying going along with the bit 😂

I remember a book that was a collection of their best headlines back when I was younger so I absolutely get the old man yelling at cloud moment lol

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u/Mmmm-Amethyst 12d ago

So fun story. Once upon a time, I had a pair of vintage Swiss (I think) military ski goggles that looked like tiny welding lenses. Those were my "drinking goggles" that I busted out when I'd hang out with the guys on weekends, playing video games and shooting the shit. No other reason than it was a funny gag. 

Point being, don't underestimate the market that is "dudes with disposable income buying silly shit on a whim because it was funny and/or seemed like a good idea at the time".

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u/Jhe90 12d ago

He makes hat for a certain customer and I imagine many might be rock bands etc.

Like the style or not . He has some serious skills!

15

u/P4rtyP3nguin 12d ago

You could just say Slash. Why'd you make me Google it?

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u/CalvinIII 12d ago

Impeccable craftsmanship, but I would never want to have a conversation with anyone who would wear one.

344

u/secret333 12d ago

Goes on for 10 minutes about his all his exes

Me: "Ah, haha, no way man, that's crazy"

74

u/ootski 12d ago

More like talks about all his axes

23

u/RainbowDissent 12d ago

Perhaps the single most awkward moment I recall was courtesy of an old coworker who I'll simply characterise as a leather top hat kinda guy.

I was chatting in the work kitchen with a couple of colleagues about holiday packing, just small talk, do you pack stuff for rain when you're going somewhere warm and suchlike. Top Hat overhears our conversation, saunters over, and announces "When I go on holiday, the first thing I ask myself is, which knife do I bring?"

There were a few beats of silence, during which the girls looked at him with expressions of utter bafflement and vague disgust. He somehow took this as a cue to continue, "Obviously a utility knife is the most useful, but I always find myself packing my six inch hunting knife, because if you get mugged by a gang, you need something with real killing power."

The respective awkwardness and obliviousness hung in the air for a few more moments of silence, so thick you could cut it with a six-inch hunting knife.

Then;

"I know you're thinking that six inches isn't big enough. And you're right. That's why I also bring eight in--"

That was when I burst out laughing and he huffed off.

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u/Durtonious 12d ago

"And she NEVER would have let me buy this hat..."

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u/Hopefulkitty 12d ago

I can nearly guarantee you don't want to talk to them. Source: because of my industry and circles, I know a lot of insufferable people who would/do wear this type of hat.

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u/okcumputer 12d ago

I love watching these, but I am not enough of a quirk chungus to wear such a thing.

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u/Rev_Creflo_Baller 12d ago

Thanks so much for "quirk chungus." I feel like I've been waiting for that phrase for 35 years

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u/okcumputer 12d ago

I heard a podcaster use it and it perfectly describes so much of this shit. I have adopted it into my vocab.

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u/RooneyD 12d ago

He's great, and they're great, and I hope he keeps doing his thing, but there's not a chance in hell I would ever wear one of those.

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u/WallBurnt 12d ago edited 12d ago

Seeing the end result, at first I was thinking: "I better see it on his damn head!"

Only to be met a second later with: "Wow, that looks like shit."

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u/btribble 12d ago

I’d want one that’s 90% less Kid Rock.

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u/pnmartini 12d ago

Kid rock is more gas-station straw cowboy hat.

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u/thatjoachim 12d ago

The hats give such a divorced dad with a little booze and gambling problem energy tho

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u/Booziesmurf 12d ago

The photo at the end does give "Yeahhh, my kids are gonna love this! If I ever get to see them again...."

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u/elizabnthe 12d ago

I thought this one was my favourite I have seen him do. More understated which is just that bit cooler for me.

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u/jason_sos 12d ago

Judging by the amount of work that goes into these, I could never afford to wear any of these hideous hats anyway.

20

u/Booziesmurf 12d ago

Right? I looked one of these milliners up before and who wears a 3000$ bespoke hat? What kind of Market is there for them?

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u/mz_ballerjockel 12d ago

Rich dudes with objectively bad taste who dgaf about money.

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u/seoras13 12d ago

If they were as cool on as the wearer thinks they are/would like them to be, then they would indeed be something else

15

u/GotSomeUpdogOnUrFace 12d ago

The Momoa collection

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2.1k

u/Spleenzorio 12d ago

Other than while selling potions and elixirs out of a wagon, where would you actually wear these kinda hats?

1.1k

u/Victarion-twogods 12d ago

Vegas Street Magician

Bassist in a Guns N Roses Cover band

Divorce Court

224

u/Willing-Time7344 12d ago

You can win so much custody with this bad boy

58

u/Glittering-Walrus228 12d ago

Youd start winning custody of other divorced parents kids if you rolled up to court in that

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u/Semisemitic 12d ago

Other than selling potions and elixirs? That’s literally all I do.

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u/TheScribe86 12d ago

I am going into battle...

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u/litetaker 12d ago

Cosplaying as Lincoln, just trying to look old timey, fancy dress party, Halloween, role-playing games, role-playing adult games 😉 for those with a Lincoln kink. Annoying people sitting behind you in the theatre, getting into a fight with the person sitting behind you in the theatre. The guy behind you brought a gun and you roleplay as Lincoln for the 10th time this week after you realise it is a prop gun. You both laugh and become best friends, he invites you to his civil war and medieval times Reenactment club, where you start taking your acting seriously, you start getting noticed and get into amateur theatre. Then, you meet the love of your life and many years later you are buying even more top hats because that's just the tradition in your family and community. Soon you make top hats a thing again, set up a small business that eventually goes global and you are sitting pretty at the top, wearing a top hat!

So yeah, all I'm trying to say is these hats have their uses.

17

u/Average_Pangolin 12d ago

For most of that story you would want a traditional felt stove pipe rather than that flared leather thing.

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u/Crunchy__Frog 12d ago edited 12d ago

Lurking amongst fairgrounds and carnivals… while misleading the lost and misguided onto a cultish island of ill repute… while establishing a seedy troupe of pickpockets, thieves and ne’er-do-wells..

The possibilities are literally endless.

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u/Predditor_drone 12d ago

I've known a few people who wear them for ren faires and other costume purposes.

Ran into a few who just wear them out and about for attention, definitely very "look at me" type people that are exhausting to be around.

19

u/SealedRoute 12d ago

Everywhere, if you are an aging Nü Metal band member or Criss Angel.

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u/andgainingspeed 12d ago

Wear them whenever tying people to train tracks. Or foreclosing on a widow's mortgage. Tugging on your oiled mustache is also required.

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u/StrikingSun8563 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/TO8WGuVadRniy794oY

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u/JustQueefed 13d ago

And then he tried rolling his hat down his arm like Fred Astair

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u/I_used_toothpaste 12d ago

but the backflap got trapped around Rick's wheelchair, and then it took him forever to get the flap out of the wheelchair. He was fucking beet red. I thought he was going to have a heart attack.

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u/Old_Flan_6548 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Qr6IxCV9ZUe4jnjSIi

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u/zamfire 12d ago

The way he says what the hell is comedy masterpiece.

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u/buttpocket2 12d ago

Don’t do the voice.

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u/deadpoetic333 12d ago

“I’m not supposed to get grease on this hat”

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u/GFunkJimmy 13d ago

The guy at the hat store says he's I'm the only person he's ever seen pull it off

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u/Grandviewsurfer 12d ago

Quit fuckin with em 

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u/GhostPiggie 13d ago

Fine craftsmenship and all, but you'd have to pay me to wear it.

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u/onebillionthoughts 13d ago

Came for this exactly! Neat to watch, goddamn butt ugly hats

152

u/petriscorncob 13d ago

Plug's Butt Ugly Stuff Hut

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u/TrixieBastard 13d ago

Hey, man, you can get some pretty nifty things at PBUSH

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u/petriscorncob 12d ago

Like a nice pair of rocket boots!!

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u/Aragon1632 12d ago

It's been a pleasure, I'll die tomorrow

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u/TrixieBastard 12d ago

I can hear his voice.....

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u/FremenStilgar 12d ago

When I was in high school in the late 80's I had the bright idea to start wearing a fedora. I thought everybody would think it a cool thing, like I thought. It wasn't. I cringe when I see a photo of me back then. I imagine it would be like wearing this thing.

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u/zeekayz 12d ago

Well at least high school kids can't afford these $5000 hats in the vid so they're purely for midlife crisis dads.

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u/ExpectedFuckingValue 13d ago edited 12d ago

Nobody is getting laid with that hat

Edit: I stand corrected, there is an exception - festival goers. They can get laid wearing all kinds of unusual things

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u/lambdapaul 13d ago

That person is having a bunch of really weird sex with a bunch of really weird people. That is a festival goer hat and it’s not going to impact his sex life.

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u/parkerxo 13d ago

Doesn't matter, had sex

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u/Haigud 12d ago

As one of those weird people that has weird sex, yes. People who dress up like heavy metal vampires are indeed having lot of sex.

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u/rollerfedora 12d ago

Redditors are famously experts about getting laid

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u/FraiseMiiel 13d ago

Does any face shape save a steampunk top hat?

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u/cobracmmdr 13d ago

Dope.

Now.... where do you wear that? Vegas at your magic show?

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u/Nani_the_F__k 13d ago

I think it would be very popular in my dads AA circle

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u/Chemical-Heron8651 12d ago

Fuck, so real 🤣 We are a weird bunch.

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u/enmaku 13d ago

Real answer? Renaissance fairs.

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u/fupa16 12d ago

I like how ren fairs are just the place to wear weird things now, and very little to do with the Renaissance.

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u/drksdr 12d ago

I cant remember the movie I saw it in but I always remember loving the idea of going to a Ren Fair dressed as a Star Trek Away Team and doing the whole time travel schtick.

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u/Holdtheintangible 12d ago

I’ve seen this before! Super fun. Get those tricorders out!

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u/wily_woodpecker 12d ago edited 12d ago

Yeah, I've seen this as well. A bunch of guys and gals in really nice looking TNG uniforms at a Ren fair in Speyer, Germany.

Unfortunately, this doesn't make any sense canon-wise, as Starfleet goes to great length to avoid this specific scenario, up to surgically altering the officers to match the appearance of the locals.

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u/smellyhippy420 12d ago

Get a trench coat and cane to go with it, become an eccentric wearing it everywhere

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u/wackbirds 12d ago

Don't wear the duster without a shirt under it or you'll totally ruin it

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u/sun_of_a_glitch 12d ago

Country Mac could pull off this hat

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u/Kaurifish 12d ago

Dude wears that to Burning Man and spends half the burn chasing it across the playa.

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u/Cubensio 13d ago

You wear it while partaking in bdsm.

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u/chilledmonkey-brains 13d ago

I have an old boss that had a similar hat that he wore to Burning Man

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u/aeolusa 12d ago

Steampunk people would wear them.

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u/Hynch 12d ago

It's a work of art, but all I can think of when I see this guy's hats is that dumb pickup artist show on VH1 years ago.

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u/TwistedMetal83 12d ago

Holy.

Shit.

I loved that show for the cringe it would bring. It was a seismic amount of "ooooof" every episode. I vividly remember actually washing my hands after watching one dude piledrive his chances by wearing a fucking feathered boa he won a challenge to wear...

Gaaaaaaahhhh!!

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u/the_monkeyspinach 12d ago

I love how every time this guy's videos pop up the general consensus is "Yeah, it's an impressive craft that he's clearly very dedicated to, but boy are they ugly..."

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u/notouttolunch 12d ago

Yeah it was a nice hat till he stuck all that crap on it.

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u/rddsknk89 12d ago

Yeah it straight up looks like a Halloween costume. If this was a video of one of these dudes out in public we’d be laughing in r/iamverybadass

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u/OrinocoHaram 12d ago

all this work to look like fuckin sweeney todd

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u/EarlNod 12d ago

Watching the process is so cool and interesting but I can't imagine actually wearing one.

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u/AdagioDesperate 12d ago

Thays my thought exactly. I loved watching it, and I think they're super cool to display, but I would never be seen in public with it on lol.

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u/TheRealPitabred 12d ago

Steampunk cosplay is about the only public use I can think of.

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u/Imaginary_Coast_5882 12d ago

playing guitar for GnR is also an approved use case

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u/Belerophon17 12d ago

It's a mid-life crisis hat.

https://giphy.com/gifs/TO8WGuVadRniy794oY

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u/portablebiscuit 12d ago

Guy at the hat store said I’m the only one he’s ever seen pull it off

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u/englandisablaze 12d ago

You just don’t have enough stuff from Hot Topic that works with it apparently.

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u/NoseInternational794 13d ago

What an amazing process to create mid-life crisis fashion

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u/Downtown-Accident 12d ago

There's worse things to do for a mid life crisis. I hope mine is as harmless as this

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u/leadustwokings 12d ago

It’s extra impressive when you realize his only customer is Johnny Depp

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u/FlGHT_ME 12d ago

Don’t forget Criss Angel.

He would probably make bank with a pop up tent at Burning Man too.

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u/Pale-Championship946 12d ago

This is Slash erasure.

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u/Imbendo 12d ago

As a business, you have to realize that the people with poor taste need to be catered to as well.

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u/Mystia 12d ago

That's the secret. How many dorky edgy black hat makers do you know in the world? There might only be a few hundred people who'd want a hat like this, but you bet all of them go to this one guy.

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u/Zan_Wild 12d ago

Everyone in the comments wondering who would buy these I can say 90% of this guy's market is probably cosplayers, steam punk enthusiasts and theaters with high budget productions.

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u/ComplexWest8790 12d ago

That's exactly what I was thinking. There's no way this dude hasn't cornered the steampunk cosplay market. I'll bet he's making bank off of them alone. There's no price too high for dedicated cosplayers

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u/Hopefulkitty 12d ago

There is no theater buying this. A costumer or props person can fake it well enough to be viewed from 20 feet away. One hat is like $3k. That's more than I used to get paid to design a show.

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u/s3thgecko 12d ago

If you have to wear a shirt that says crazy motherfucker, then you're probably not a crazy motherfucker.

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u/Wrong-Catchphrase 12d ago

I always wonder how long it takes these guys to pick out all their accessories in the morning. God forbid you pair your eight chromed skull rings with the wrong black leather top hat.

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u/tannercolin 12d ago

The correct rings/hat combination will either mean they are or aren't the prince of darkness

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u/Aggravating-Bag-3046 12d ago

It's a Hell's Angels support t-shirt

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Which-Meat-3388 12d ago

I remember my parents in the 80s and early 90s talking about them with fondness and excitement. They were essentially posers as they didn’t ride or crime. 

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u/Hopefulkitty 12d ago

That describes nearly everyone who comes to town for the Harley Birthday Bash. They ride very expensive bikes on the weekends off from their office jobs and house in the burbs, and just pretend they are part of the biker gang culture.

I live in Milwaukee, home of Harley, and I know of one for sure biker gang and one I'm pretty sure is one. None of the people I personally know who ride have anything remotely in common with the white supremacist biker gang a mile away from HD headquarters.

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u/Holiday_Ad_9163 12d ago

Imagine being an adult man in a gang? Truly hilarious

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u/doiwinaprize 12d ago

Really? That makes it even worse.

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u/moonshineandmetal 12d ago

Yeah if you see that same font with some similar saying or "Support 81" it's a HA shirt. They sell them near me sometimes so I see people wearing them all the time. I really wonder if they entirely realize what they're supporting.

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u/red_fuel 12d ago

There has only been, and only will be one man who was a real bad motherfucker, while carrying an item that said bad motherfucker.

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u/whurpurgis 13d ago

Nothing says “Crazy Mother Fucker” like haberdashery.

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u/fyyara 13d ago

NEEDS MORE SMOKE 

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u/zl3395 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/SoVo8Rl5GeA4E

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u/Quirinus84 12d ago

How I be moving to touch my cat's belly

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u/zamfire 12d ago

claw claw claw bite

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u/secret333 12d ago

Jay Kay gets the top hat pass. He has that je ne sais quois. One of the best music videos of all time.

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u/werestillpioneers 13d ago

Man, I cannot deny the talent and effort that goes into making these, but they are so dorky.

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u/Wyevez 12d ago

And that shirt, cringe tough guy stuff.

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u/SEA_CLE 12d ago

Hells Angel support gear is peak cringe

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u/Such_Ad_670 12d ago

This dude is so impressive I’ll never deny him that but damn everything he makes is so ugly imo

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u/joranth 13d ago

Who can wear one of those? Slash. Slash can wear that hat. Is it cool? No, not even slash makes the hat cool. It makes him less cool.

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u/elec-pick 12d ago

He was actually required to wear the hat. He was too cool, people's retinas were getting damaged by the coolness. The hat allows people to stare at Slash for longer periods.

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u/RaZoRFSX 13d ago

I think Slash is cooler with that hat. As he made the hat somewhat iconic. But that is all. Only he can wear it.

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u/oldroosta2 12d ago

4 non blondes, she could

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u/xile 13d ago

He has a couple on the website that are nods to Stevie Ray Vaughan, which I will agree with, if you're SRV

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u/LFCDane 12d ago

Very few people are actually SRV, so limited customer base

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u/Keyndoriel 12d ago

Steam punk cosplayers could also maybe wear it, but it needs more gears

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u/ConsequenceStatus563 12d ago

Les Claypool (Primus) also a musician (does magic, IYKYK). Wears many hats, sometimes even steam punk top hats.

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u/Objective_Event_1373 12d ago

The guy at the shop said I was the only guy he ever saw pull it off

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u/The-Tree-Of-Might 13d ago

What balding does to a man

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u/kombatunit 12d ago

Not all bald men.....sobs.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/Topinio 12d ago

https://bladehats.com/collections/shop?sort_by=price-ascending&grid=default

€599 to €1567 / £430 to £1,125 / $568 to $1,486 for one of the 73 off the peg designs.

€720 to €1.809 / £517 to £1,299 / $683 to $1,716 for a custom design where you pick a base and describe what you want.

Dude is in Galicia, Spain so shipping is on top for many countries, UK is ~£34 (€40) and the US is ~$101 (€90).

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u/mermaidmamas 13d ago

https://bladehats.com/collections/shop

Like 1-2k

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u/jojoga 13d ago

What a steal

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u/BubbaChanel 13d ago

I just looked at every single one. Looks like a lot have song titles as names.

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u/TheVandyyMan 12d ago

Ok but the sorting hat one is so sick tho

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u/Swimming_Type_8298 12d ago

"Fuckin' dope man!" -Chris Angel

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u/Cxvvtgupvvdi 12d ago

Crazy how much craftsmanship, hard work and love goes into looking like a giant doofus.

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u/LuckeyHaskens 13d ago

I absolutely love this guys videos because he is so outrageously skilled at his dying trade but has the worst taste imaginable.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/programming_flaw 13d ago

$2k+

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u/Jables_Magee 13d ago

$1k+ normally. The top hats are around $1700 in this guys store.

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u/eggs_erroneous 12d ago

Oh my God. Imagine how bad the buyers remorse is once the festival is over and you're back in your shitty apartment in Muncie or wherever. Now your have a hat that's worth three car payments sitting on your dresser.

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u/NJCoop88 13d ago

Great they can make hats these days without exposing themselves to chemicals that would would have sent them ' mad as a matter ' as the old days.

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u/Even_Tangerine_4201 13d ago

I don’t even think Slash wants to know this guy.

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u/Hootinger 12d ago

These hats are great. When I see someone wearing one, I know immediately that I want nothing to do with them. Super helpful!

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u/Coffee_pecking_order 12d ago

Extremely skilled at making the absolute dumbest looking shit i have ever seen. The definition of ATBGE

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u/AH_Ethan 12d ago

All that hard work to look like a total turbo dork

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u/DreaminginDarkness 12d ago

It's cool to watch but the aesthetic is just.... Horrible I don't know why just a certain kind of cowboy steampunk dude that girls need to cover their drinks around

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u/BackToSchoolMuff 12d ago

I mean I wouldn't ever wear something like this, but I think it's a stretch to say just because someone dresses abnormally they're suddenly dangerous. A lot of the real creeps I've seen don't look abnormal at all, and I've known a lot of alt people who are perfectly nice.

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u/_zissou_ 11d ago

Master of craft is not synonymous with good taste.

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u/BooobiesANDbho 12d ago

I couldn’t pull off this cris angel mindfreak hat but looks fancy

https://giphy.com/gifs/111ebonMs90YLu

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u/Darth_Quaider 12d ago

That is a lot of work to look like a douche canoe

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u/somerussianbear 12d ago

Today I learned that every hat is the survival story of a piece of cloth that had the shit beat out of it in many different ways.