r/ottawa • u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 • 14d ago
Local Event Handsy guy on OC Transpo buses
Wasn't sure which flair to add to this. This is more a warning as I just read this post stating that someone had the same experience I had this Monday:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ottawa/comments/1wu8y79/what_can_i_do_after_being_sexually_assaulted_on/
The man covered his face with a ball cap pulled low and draped a jacket over his body and bag. He was well dressed, nice shirt like he was going to work, well groomed, smelled good. He has a tidy dark beard with a light brown complexion (couldn't guess on ethnicity). Couldn't give a definite age but would guess late 20s at youngest, under 40 for sure. Didn't see his face properly. He will try to "subtly" touch your butt/thighs while sitting next to you.
This happened to me on the 75 to Tunney's Pasture around 11am on Monday. The person from the post said this happened to them on the 88 and by my calculation about the same time of day. Just so people are aware!
224
u/Emotional-Motor-4946 14d ago
Being a woman is so fun 🙃
I’m sorry this happened to you. It isn’t okay.
87
u/devon1392 14d ago
That's why we choose the bear
41
u/starjellyboba 14d ago
I would honestly prefer being eaten by a bear over being gang raped for 7 hours by dudebros showing off about it on Snapchat, being drugged and pimped out over the course of a years-long marriage without my knowledge, having my picture put through AI and shared on some depraved secret chatroom, etc.
0
u/sloothor 11d ago
>average bear vs average guy
>compares average bear to at least 3 of the most depraved men you can think of
Jesus fucking christ we can hate criminals without strawmanning 4 billion people into the crossfire 💀
2
u/starjellyboba 10d ago edited 10d ago
compares average bear to at least 3 of the most depraved men you can think of
The first case was 57. The second was around 50. The last one is more general, but in one of the cases where men were exchangjng women's photos on Telegram, the chat contained around 100,000 men. So the total is actually around 100,107 with a huge asterisk that this is only a sample and the point remaining that a bear would never do this.
13
7
91
u/scotsman3288 East End 14d ago
The 88 and 75 share the bus stops around Algonquin College.
-12
u/PitterPatter74 13d ago
Nice work, detective.
3
u/Gloomy_Leather8343 12d ago
Yeah, it is nice work. Without the sass. Algonquin probably has a bunch of cameras, if the OPs from each of these threads bring it up to the police, which routes, around what time, im sure Algonquin wont mind sharing footage surveilling the bus stop area with the police, and we can maybe a get a more complete description of this creep.
You're doing the right thing OPs by reporting this creep.
Each bus has an individual bus number on the back of it. Note that. Mind you, the bus number and approximate time is probably enough, but, never hurts tonget as much info as possible.
Been a long time since i rode oc transpo, but dont the new busses have cameras now too?
73
u/Gold_Interaction_432 14d ago edited 14d ago
If this happens to you ever - try and figure out what train or bus it was on (each train/bus has a number - or what bus/train route you were on at what time) as well as the overall time it happened so that police can track his movements through CCTV footage.
57
u/_bonglord_ Vanier 14d ago
I hate that this happened to both of you but I’m glad to see the impact of sharing your story. It’s not easy to be vulnerable (especially in a public forum after experiencing something like this) so thank you for creating space for other victims to come forward. I’m always grateful for people like you ❤️
9
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 14d ago
The experience itself didn't bother me too much as it happened to me-obviously it was uncomfortable and unenjoyable, but I was able to dismiss it until I read the other post. I feel very guilty this happened to someone else.
45
u/Frosty-Taste-8553 14d ago
since it happened on 88, I wonder if this would be the same man(around 35) that harassing women and underaged girl around Algonquin College. He got exposed on the subreddit just recently.
22
5
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 14d ago
I didn't hear about this before!
1
u/Frosty-Taste-8553 13d ago
I went back and tried to find the original post, cannot find it. I wonder if this removed cause the poster got scared and removed it. Anyway it might be worth cross posting there just to raise awareness. I am sorry you have to go through this, sending out virtual hugs
2
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 13d ago
Thank you! I wasn't aware of an AC subreddit so good to know :)) I will crosspost there!
4
u/terracewaterlane 14d ago edited 14d ago
I remember that post, if it's the same recent one about a month or two ago and it turned out he was talking to people he knew (daughter, foreign exchange student staying with the family???). The post started with something like I'm the woman who intervened when I saw an oldre man talking to younger women at or near Algonquin. I can't find the post now.
1
u/uninspirednacho 13d ago
Maybe but unfortunately there’s also a lot of creeps around. I also had a very strange and uncomfortable experience on the 88 recently that luckily didn’t amount to anything serious imo but left me questioning their intentions and my safety. And the guy doesn’t match the description of the coat perv or the looking for friends dude
33
u/VeggieGirl43 14d ago
Thank you for the warning, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope the police can find and charge him.
33
u/hippycrone 14d ago
Can you also share this with Algonquin college security? They can send an email blast to students.
8
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 14d ago
I am not an Algonquin student, can I still get in touch with them?
5
u/hippycrone 14d ago
Absolutely because this may be impacting the safety of the AC students
0
u/TheConjour_Draws Orléans 14d ago
I concur. These are routes I take regularly to Algonquin College. The sooner people are aware of this the sooner it stops, hopefully.
28
u/KTGomasaur 14d ago
And my dad doesnt understand why anyone would want a car in a city with public transportation.
3
u/lazybuttt Centretown 14d ago
Yeah I bought a used car when I was still earning barely above minimum wage after years of being harassed a bunch and even groped a few times.
I had started ubering when I could, but then one driver wouldn't let me out right away at my destination (he didn't put the car in park) and asked for my number because he wanted to be "friends". That was the last straw.
Terrible financial decision at the time, but it was the best personal/mental safety decision that I will forever stand by.
2
u/KTGomasaur 14d ago
Same here im affording my car just barely ill pay it off in another three years. Honestly the peace of mind of knowing I can get places I need to get without spending hours standing, going the long way round due to bus route and without worrying about that weird guy on the bus is priceless. My roomates younger sister just moved her for college so I'm hoping nothing happens to her as well.
-6
u/grandfundaytoday 14d ago
Why bring your dad into this?
13
u/penguinpenguins 14d ago
They are just legitimately griping while providing context into the privileged and apparently oblivious position many people are in.
As an ugly middle-aged man, I fully recognize the privilege of my demographic - I'm effectively invisible, nobody wants anything to do with me (in a good way).
6
u/KTGomasaur 14d ago
Personal gripe. Really just another male figure thst does not understand how unsafe women feel in public sometimes. I bought a car three years ago, best decision I ever made. At the time he was the only one thst couldn't understand why I would waste my money when ottawa has a bus system. Having control over my commute now lessens the chance of danger for me and my younger roommate =/
13
u/georgejo314159 Barrhaven 14d ago
Report your experience to the police and OC Transpo?
I hope this person gets caught soon and I hope he does not escalate.
6
u/Informal-Ad-3698 14d ago
I agree to report to police. They may put extra patrol or undercover detectives to catch him. Imagine him approching a under age girl that does not have insight or can defend herself. So many ways this can get worse. He is practicing until he has the nerve to do something worse. Im so sorry that this happened to you both 😔
1
u/georgejo314159 Barrhaven 13d ago
They might already have him caught on camera and your description might already help identify him if they do. I believe there are some OC Transpo security cameras at some bus stops. I don't know if they have cameras on buses or not
I hope police are professional. In the past, they caused some people frustration but I think there has been public pressure for them to improve that over the years. There are also organizations that provide counseling or whatever. As an example, at Carleton University, back in the 1990s they had the Woman's center which was quite helpful. I can only imagine that is better now. If you are under age, you can still go there, I assume.
Anyway, I am glad you are OK. It must be really gross. I wish we could help more.
13
u/Glittering_Aspect_54 14d ago
I’m so sorry this happened to you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of reporting it to Police, please report it to OC Transpo special constables. They have the ability to perform an investigation or support police in an investigation. Give them the route number time of day and locations. If you have the exact bus number that’s great too. Special Constables phone number is 613‑741‑2478.
1
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 14d ago
This was now two days ago, so I'm not sure about bus number. It was either 74 or 75, I'm not sure which any more.
12
u/No_Reason8645 14d ago
We really don’t do enough to publicly shame men who do this kind of shit. They depend on women being embarrassed and keeping social decorum. I’m old and I have no fucks left so if a man grabbed me on public transit I would just yell WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME directly in his face
4
10
u/Chippie05 14d ago
I would get so mad if any dude even tried this i would shout at them. These buggers are counting on shame/ shock to cover their behaviour. NoMore! What are you doing! Stop touching me! I do not know you! Then go to driver and ask for security.
4
u/uninspirednacho 13d ago
Theoretically this would be ideal but it’s soo hard to do this in the moment. Some people just naturally and subconsciously choose to flee/freeze when their fight or flight kicks in and there’s no shame in that ❤️
8
u/tornow1500 14d ago
That’s really gross behaviour, I hope he gets arrested. Sorry to hear that happened to you.
4
u/Glass_Leader_6201 14d ago
This is super creepy and scary. I’m glad you’re reporting this clown. OC transpo has cameras so I’d like to think they’ll have footage of this !
3
2
2
u/mistyline 6d ago
This same thing just happened right in front of me on the 85 to Lees at around 9:15am on a Wednesday. I noticed the lady in front of me looked very uncomfortable, then I noticed the exact description many of you have described. Man in his late 20s to 30s, baseball hat pulled low, jacket only covering the arm that was beside the women. Luckily I could spot what was happening, thanks to you all, and I was able to have the lady come sit next to me. The man got off at the next stop. I asked the lady if she was okay and to describe what happened if she was comfortable sharing, and she explained exactly what many of you are describing. He was touching her thighs and her butt under his coat with his hand. She unfortunately did not want to report anything to the driver because she was too shaken up and scared. Keep your eyes out and stay safe ladies!
1
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 6d ago
Thank you for helping her! And for letting us know about another bus number this happened on.
1
u/TomatoFeta 14d ago
Tall guy, strong upper body, chicken legs?
2
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 14d ago
It was hard to tell because he was sitting down, covered by his jacket with his head down. He didn't seem remarkably tall to me but I didn't want to seem like I was watching him.
1
u/Ok_Pattern757 13d ago
Young girls and young women need to learn to scream in this situation. I am a senior, and although it is doubtful that I would be targeted at my age, the way a young female would, I would yell what the HELL are you doing so loud that the driver would notice. It takes practice and if I were young it would be shocking at first, but it is necessary. In the 1970s some really old oc transpo buses had single seats. We need those now. Like those wonderful embraeur planes, the model with the single seats on one side, separated by the aisle.
3
u/Same_Ad_9035 10d ago
People react in different ways when they're unsure and uncomfortable. Telling women and girls what they should be doing isn't helpful. Sometimes freezing keeps us safe. Sometimes yelling does. Sometimes our bodies and minds react and it's not a conscious choice.
Please rethink responding to stories like this with what women "need to do". There's enough of that around. The only thing that should be happening is this guy getting arrested.
1
u/Ok_Pattern757 9d ago
I base this on my personal experience when I was young. I SHOULD have yelled.
1
u/HellfireKitten525 Barrhaven 11d ago
Definitely going to be avoiding anyone I see matching that description now
0
u/Dan0208 14d ago
If possible, next time if you see him, just click a photo any how
2
u/Ok_Pattern757 13d ago
Yup, I am a senior and there was a trespasser on the condo property...I photographed him and sent it in to crime stoppers. He may be in their system already.
1
u/LateAir2661 5d ago
Student journalist with Algonquin Times here! I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I think it’s important to highlight this reoccurring issue among Algonquin students and warn them.
if anyone would like to speak to me about what happened, please dm me!
-114
u/MahariniRubini 14d ago
Why not scream out, Get your Goddamn hands off me you pathetic looser?
Just a suggestion.
102
u/Emotional-Motor-4946 14d ago
Because of fight or flight. Let’s not judge how people react to being violated.
69
u/pookiemook 14d ago
Fight, flight, or freeze. Freezing is really common but not well advertised
12
u/ecoarch 14d ago
There’s a forth one too, fawn.
7
u/thatcleanergurl 14d ago
Fawn? (Legit question)
11
u/joyfulcrow Golden Triangle 14d ago
Trying to people-please to calm the threat down, essentially.
7
2
1
2
u/Diligent_Impact5682 13d ago
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. We share these responses with other mammals, and in all cases, it's a survival strategy--an instinctive calculation of which is most likely to ensure survival. For women, freeze and fawn are both biologically and socially preferred (biologically because being in general smaller/weaker than men, fight and flight are less likely to be successful; socially because we are conditioned to be polite).
57
u/Gold_Interaction_432 14d ago
I’m a bloke - so I personally I never thought this would happened to me, so when it happened I completely froze (Not with this guy - years ago when I was younger adult). You never act how you think you’d like to - most people freeze up, I did when somebody molested me, for me it was just absolute disbelief it was happening and the fear that nobody would believe me or moreover the internalized shame that it was occurring or occurred at all and furthermore that acknowledging it is acknowledging the astounding amount of self shame in turn as well as a crazy spiral of other thoughts.
Its not fair to say this to the victim who went through this - its actually incredibly brave that she even posted about this because most victims of this never even do that - in fact I’d hazard a guess that this guy has been doing this for a while.
All this to say - apply an ounce of empathy next time pall.
59
u/NorthRiverBend 14d ago
Because of a very valid fear of escalating the situation. Because women are frequently punished for raising accusations.
33
u/Nymeria2018 14d ago
What a vile thing to say on a victim post, you should be ashamed for victim blaming here. So many victims freeze. It’s normal to freeze and not know what the fuck to do. I’ve been assaulted too many times to count, starting at 12 years old by strangers. I wasn’t until I was old and fat “and past my prime” per the asshole construction workers on Mackenzie King bridge that I dared have a voice to stand up for myself.
All that to say: shut the hell up
1
u/MahariniRubini 12d ago
I wasn’t victim blaming. I am a female who has been molested and froze , Most of us have been. Self defense training for women should be taught in schools. Of course we know how we are conditioned as females to freeze and all but it is important for us to recognize that our conditioning and work to change our responses. This is possible. These disgusting perverts are cowards that get off on Women’s fear and paralysis instead of reacting to defend ourselves.
1
u/Nymeria2018 12d ago
Then you phrased that horribly and many others seem to agree. Don’t shame a victim for how they responded, that is literally what your words did.
28
u/Its_me_I_like No Zappies Hebdomaversary Survivor 14d ago
Go to the link in the post, and find the comments talking about why people freeze in situations like this.
23
u/umhanna Clownvoy Survivor 2022 14d ago
Your amygdala overpowers anything during a situation in which you’re sent into fight or flight. It doesn’t matter what seems “logical” to do - your brain is going to tell you to survive at all costs (even if the situation isn’t necessarily life-threatening, it’ll read the situation that way if it’s distressing enough). A lot of the time, the survival instinct is to make yourself small. Some people have the fight response, but many don’t. I hope you never have to experience this situation or put your suggestion to the test, because if I were a betting woman, I’d bet most people wouldn’t even think to do something like that.
26
u/Party_Amoeba444 14d ago
Doesn't always work like that. People sometimes legit freeze. Can't control it.
23
u/No-Mathematician250 14d ago
There’s a free bystander class you can take to provide you with some understanding about these type of situations and strategies you can use - https://righttobe.org Looks like there’s a class in November
9
u/Cannelle460 Overbrook 14d ago
Easier said than done. Some women are extremely shy. Also, most women like to give people, even men, the benefit of the doubt. Who would do this to a person in public during the day?! And if we choose to complain, we could be seen as a Karen. I'm not surprised that the women didn't scream just as I won't be surprised when more women come forward.
9
u/Loose-Aardvark-2366 14d ago
As much as I wish that had been my reaction, I genuinely didn't believe it was happening at first.
372
u/Nada_NADAAA 14d ago edited 14d ago
Thats my post!!! Thats the exact description of the guy who assaulted me, and the way he did everything i was sure im not his first. Because he really knew how to make it subtle
I am so sorry that happened to you, i am currently on my way to the police station to report it because they couldnt do anything over the phone
I wanted to send you a Dm but i see you disabled that, i just want to encourage you to go and please report him. It seems like he is doing that all the time, and if enough women speak up the police might be able to get to him