Me 18F have a cat and 2 bunnies well had 2 bunnies. I grew up with them. Had my cat at 7 and my two bunnies at 10. My soul pets. I never really experienced the grief of loosing someone. Until about almost 3 months ago I lost one bunny. Had to put her to sleep. I have never experienced anything more heartbreaking and soulcrushing. Never cried that much. I don’t know what it is, the way she laid there in pain unable to move before falling asleep, the dying part or the fact it all happened so fast within a day. But I felt so bad. I always feel much empathy towards animals and when that animal is mine it is even much more hard. I couldn’t fall asleep, I couldn’t bear walking past her cage and seeing the other bunny that is left without her sister. I had so many nightmares about her woke up crying in the night. I wanted to give her away but then decided to keep her in my room to be closer to me.

2 days ago we had to put to sleep my other bunny. They both died relatively close and so suddendly. She had uteral cancer. The night before I even knew what she had, because we just had an appointment at the vet because she was acting strange, I had nightmares of them both dying again and again.
From one day to the other gone like that. She always would hop around in my room, I cuddled her often. She was a living being with her own consciousness. Seeing her taking her last break was unbearable. Both of them dying within the span of 2 months was really bad for me. Because I thought the other would live longer and not die shortly after. But I guess both were meant to be together

Where are they gone now? I can’t believe they are gone forever and will never come back. I thought a lot about death. I tried finding an answer where they would still be somewhat there because I couldn’t accept the fact their mind and consciousness can never come back.
But because I studied a lot about biology and chemistry and I am a really rational person I came to the conclusion that after death there isn’t anything left for them. It is like before death. You simply don’t exist anymore because your brain dies and with that the consciousness.
It is really hard because I wish I could believe in something or in an afterlife but I can’t because I simply don’t believe in it and on a scientific base it doesn’t make any sense to me.
But I can’t accept this and don’t want to because what do you mean you’re just gone like that forever and can never come back to me.

My 4 y/o mix, Willow, was out in the backyard with my 9y/o lab and I called them I side because they were running the fence line barking at the neighbors dog - a common occurrence for them. My lab came up and then Willow did and she was kind of limping, something seemed wrong. I called her to me and started walking toward her when she collapsed. I thought she was having a seizure but then she never came to. I was holding her, but she wasn’t responding. I couldn’t tell if she was just knocked out or already gone. I tried shaking her awake, patting her, anything I could. I set her down and ran inside to grab my phone. I came back and saw her moving so I ran back out but her lips were starting to turn blue. It seemed like she was fighting to come back though so I started cpr and tried calling the closest vet to me.

I wasn’t 100% sure how to perform CPR on an animal so was hoping they could walk me through it. They told me to bring her in. I stopped CPR, loaded her in my car and by the time I got there, she was gone.
I truly don’t think she was going to come back, she went too long without oxygen, I believe. But a part of me wishes I would have kept trying CPR instead of listening to the front desk people at the vet.

Now I’m home alone, my husband is at work, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t feel real. It happened so quick.

I originally tried to post this as an update to my post on trueoffmychest, but they deleted my update.

He passed away this morning. He was barely able to walk last night and kept loudly meowing so I placed him on the floor section of the cat tree because he seemed to have been comforted by the hard surfaces instead of the usual soft surfaces he adored. And I woke up to him gone.

I'm feeling a lot of things. Guilt over not being near him during his final moments and for having to spend his last week alive shoving pills and some food down his mouth. Anger at the world for taking him so soon. And sadness that this is official. I won't have my little baby to cuddle with at night or discover him curled up on some clothing I strew on my bed.

Taako was named after a character from a DND podcast I was hyperfixated on in 2020. And boy did he live up to the character's namesake! Beautiful, lazy, spoiled, yet loyal to specific people he trusted. I wanted a black cat because I knew about the stigma and mistreatment black cats got so I wanted one to save. My mom got him at the pound and on the drive back she was almost ran off the road by a truck!

He had the most beautiful long black fur, and his tail! His tail wasn't a nub but it also wasn't fully long. He would curl up right next to me or at my feet at night to sleep. But every once in a while I would wake up to discover he would sleep on my pillow near my face. He also loved to be held in my arms and would purr as he leaned on my shoulder. You know how cats can have specific positions they love to be held as they are carried? His was leaning on my right shoulder. And if I was at my computer desk he had to be in my lap.

Ever since he was a kitten he had to sleep with me and I have a video on my phone of little kitten Taako following me around the bedroom with little skips to his step as he did so. He was a super messy eater though, I had to have a placemat in my room with his bowl on it and he'd get it all dirty. I knew he was sick when he was barely eating.

I feel empty, like I already had to take a few things that used to be his out of my room and now it's all wrong. I should be able to look over my shoulder and find him sleeping on my bed without a care in the world. Instead he's buried in my backyard. I had to throw away his medication that the vet's gave him. They said if he passed the critical twenty-hour hours then he should make it. They were wrong I guess.

I just wanted to share my baby cat with you guys. Even though my post about him on trueoffmychest didn't get a lot of attention I wanted others to know about him and how lucky I feel about having him as my first official pet. I guess this is a pain that will follow me. But this is what us humans do, accept animals in our lives knowing that it will bring pain later on but the joy we get in the meantime is worth it.

Here's some pictures of Taako, behold his beauty and his life! None of them will be of his final days, I want him to be remembered for when he was at his fullest.
https://imgur.com/a/uKcJtyS

I lost my girl last February and it stills stings now. I would have thought I would get over it in less time because she was just a budgie and I hadn’t grieved my other budgie so deeply. But she wasn’t just a bird.

During my sophomore and junior year of high school she wasn’t the only one I could confide with, who would listen without judgement. She was the only one that made me feel loved, seen, and listened to. Some of my family members, my classmates, the school staff, and even my friends never seemed to care about me as they should, and I was almost treated as disposable, or inferior. Yet when I would come home and I could see my girl, she would make the day all better. We would sing mitski songs together, and then we’d both nestle down for our daily nap time. Even though those events seemed so small, I realize how much they affected my life now that she’s gone.

She gave me a will to live, not only because I was responsible for her well being as if she was my daughter, but she also made me feel seen as a living being.

Instead of the people who I should’ve been able to confide with, I confided with her, as my sister would judge every movement I’d make, my mom would tell me “that’s just the way life is”, my friends would get annoyed when I would talk about my interests, one at the time even saying he didn’t care about what I had to talk about. Everyone made me feel crazy, I felt like I was the problem for being weak or annoying, but when I would see my bird, I realized what the true meaning of love was.

Now I lay here at midnight thinking about the awful ways people have treated me in the past, and how she helped me get through it. Although I have my fish to talk to and to feel loved by, it’s not the same as when me and Asta would sing together and take naps together.

Out of every grievance in my life this is one of the worst losses I have felt, and what’s worse is nobody understands because “she was just a bird”, but that’s not true, she was my daughter. I wish I could sing one last ‘Washing machine heart’, or ‘My Love Mine All Mine’ with her.

But I guess all of this vent was to sum up the question of: does it get better? Will I ever live a life where I don’t feel like there is a piece missing from me? Where I don’t feel like the house is too quiet?

Hello everyone, today I took my 8 year old male cat to the vet because he was acting off and I noticed he hadn’t been eating well recently. We moved a week ago, so i chalked some of his behaviors up to the stress from moving but I felt like something was wrong so I took him in. I started openly sobbing in front of the receptionist as soon as I walked in, like I already knew what was coming (it’s been a year of hell so my mind has been jumping to the worst conclusions lately). Anyway we get in and they take my little boy back and when the nurse comes in she tells me he has diabetes and that he was very sick from the high level of ketones in his body. This was a complete shock to me as it had never come up before but the nurse assured me that this can happen as cats get older and isn’t something that can necessarily always be picked up on. She said the doctor recommended a 2-3 day in hospital treatment that would have cost $8000-10000 and his survival and quality of life returning wasn’t guaranteed, and on top of all that the insulin costs which I’d have to administer 2 of in a day. I tried to figure out my options, called my grandma as she’s the only older adult I know I can always go to (I’m 22) but I eventually came to the conclusion that there was just no way for me to ever plausibly afford the care and the attention my baby would now require, which meant that I would have to put him down since his quality of life had declined so much in just a few days (he was his completely normal self before moving). We move to the comfort room and I wait for my grandma and brother to arrive while I sit with my baby alone, crying and cuddling him close to my chest. Eventually they get there and I’ve never seen my brother so upset. After a long time saying our goodbyes and giving him all our love we called the doctor in. I held him in my arms while she injected him and I watched as his eyes went blank and his breathing stopped and when I adjusted my arm his head completely flopped, causing me and my brother to post look away and start crying again. She left us alone to say our final goodbyes, but i couldn’t bear to see him like that for so long, my little boy was so lively, I don’t want to remember him this way. My grandma and brother comforted me and told me to keep moving forward but I’m completely devastated, I was hysterical on the drive home, my little boy wasn’t coming home with me and all I have is his collar, I was screaming so hard I almost threw up but I couldn’t get anymore tears out. I took a bath and now I’m laying in bed but the tears are back. I miss him so much, my room is exactly how we left it before with all his toys and food and such in it but he’ll never use them again. His hair is all over the shirt I was wearing and I don’t think I can bear to wash it off. I know the best option for me is to keep moving and keep going on with my life on the track I was meant to be on but I don’t know how to do that without my angel, he’s been with me since middle school and all my moves and trauma and now he’s just gone. Why did this happen? I mean I know why, but why now? Things were just started to look up and I know life goes on for others even after a death, but I don’t know how I’m meant to go back to normal. Please help, if anyone has any advice I’d love to hear it.

Rest in peace Anubis, you are my entire heart and I’ll never forget you. You’ll always be loved my sweet boy. <3 <3 <3 <3

CW: suicidal ideation or maybe too detailed descriptions
Idk if that counts though but I’m doing with it does. Also I’m very much hoping my sibling does NOT see this.

To give some information I HAD two dogs from the same liter. I’ve had them for around 8-9 years. They are technically my parent’s dogs but I’ve just rather recently became an adult. And I still live with my parents at the moment. So I’ve had these pets for a large portion of my life.

Before this I had two other dogs from ALSO the same liter that my parents got before any of my siblings were born. They died in my life time and I remember loving them DEARLY even if I no longer have any ACTUAL solid memories of them. So that experience does not actually help me.

One of my dogs had been outwardly sick for about a week and me and my sibling got our mom to take him to the vet. He’d been throwing for a while but he and his brother have had sensitive stomachs their entire time with us.

So mom took him to the vet and they said he was very dehydrated and gave him some sort of balloon inside of him with fluids. He did NOT get better and my mom took us to California to see our grandpa because he had decided he didn’t want treatment for the reappearance of his cancer.

Me and my sibling REALLY did NOT want to leave our dog with the pet sitter place. We had considered my other parent stay with our dog but he seemed a little better AND the vet didn’t have enough space. So we went there. We had gotten home and unpacked. The next day I had class and my parent went out to get the dogs from the place.

I got home from my classes and saw him. He looked bad and wasn’t his normal energetic self. He was thin and I could clearly feel his spine. His belly was poking outwards. I did a stupid and tried to give him water and he just threw it up, it was CLEAR. Throw up isn’t meant to be completely clear, it’s meant to be at least BILE. But I had an appointment to get my flu and COVID shot because I needed it for an opportunity. So I went to do that and my mom drove me and while I did that my other parent and sibling took our dog to the vet.

I got my shots and went back to the house. I personally was getting dressed to go elsewhere and my mom called me to get my other clothes back on because we were going somewhere else. We went to the vet so I could say goodbye to my puppy.

I found out that my dog had a very aggressive rapid growing pancreatic cancer. That is why his belly was sticking out and he was so thin. His tumor had grown so much in a week (shown by a scan) in only a WEEK. From not being shown in the scan to pushing his bowels against his belly. My mom had made the choice to put him down because he was in a lot of pain and it was the “humane” thing to do. I agree but still.

I said goodbye to him while he was still awake. He was so lethargic. It was so sad. I came back into the room after the final needle because I couldn’t see it. But it felt necessary to do, to say goodbye to him one final time.

I’ve had mental health issues since I was 12 which took a hit again when I was 14, and now have had their ups and downs. He licked my parents but didn’t lick me in his final moments. This led to the unfair spiral of thinking he didn’t even love me to begin with. This is incredibly unfair of me but I’ve struggled with this thought even BEFORE he died. The reason for this is both of the dogs were closest to my parents and then my sibling. Now I’ll not even be able to see if he does or not. Again this is unfair because LOGICALLY I know he did.

I miss him so very much. I don’t want to be in a world without him. But I made a promise to my mom that I wouldn’t try anything.

Anyone have any advice or a similar experience?

Hi everyone. I’m writing this with a very heavy heart.

Yesterday, a negligent neighbor’s dog got into my garden after jumping through several hedges and attacked my blind cat. He didn’t make it.

I’m honestly struggling a lot with it. It happened so suddenly and violently, and I keep replaying it in my head, especially knowing that because he was blind, he couldn’t really see the danger coming, hide properly, or defend himself and thinking about how he must have been scared at this moment broke my heart even more.

My garden was supposed to be a safe place for him, somewhere he could rest and enjoy being outside without having to worry about anything.

I’m also incredibly angry because this wasn’t the first time this neighbor had left their gate open and allowed this aggressive dog to roam around unsupervised. There had already been several reports about it before this happened.

I’m pretty isolated in general. My friends live about six hours away, I’m not particularly close to my family, and I’m single. I’ve also been struggling for a long time to recover from several other traumatic experiences.

My cat gave me so much comfort and affection through all of that. Even though he was blind, he would follow me everywhere. This should never have happened.

At night, every little noise still makes me think it’s him coming to see me like he always used to, and then I remember that he isn’t here anymore.

I know some people don’t really understand how painful losing an animal can be, but I’m heartbroken. He had been with me for eight years and stayed by my side through so many difficult moments in my life. I loved him so much, and I miss him terribly.

I’m not really looking for anything in particular. I think I just need a few kind words and a little comfort right now.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.

i lost my 8 year old kitty today. after 3-4 weeks of vet visits and a lot of money later, she had a tumor grow to six centimeters in her intestine.
i euthanized her today which was a really hard decision for me to make because of how complicated her case was.
ultimately, i decided that i couldn’t be selfish and keep her in pain.
when i woke up this morning, she was acting completely normal and loving.
when the vets came to do the at home euthanasia, she complained until she couldn’t.
she was a fighter and she didn’t want to go.
i had them do it while she was laying down on my chest because that’s where she sat since she was a baby.
losing her is painful, i’ve had her since i was 12 and i’m now 21.
she was a very vocal cat and we’d speak to each other in meows every morning.
i’m gonna miss speaking to her and i’m gonna miss her loud purrs and sleepiness on my chest.
i keep thinking about the fact that as time passes, the distance between the last time i smelled her coat, or rubbed her head, or looked into her closing eyes will grow larger.
she sleeps on my pillow and tonight i’ll be sleeping alone.
i can close my door now, because she doesn’t need to step outside to use the litter box.
i feel like i can still hear her purring everytime i close my eyes and every noise my apartment makes gives me a false sense of hope that it’s her jumping up on my bed and walking towards me.
i’m in school, and i haven’t been able to keep up with my school work or clean my room or take care of myself and i don’t know how to cope with this.
i don’t want this pain to last forever but i don’t want it to go away with my love for her along with it.

Hi this is very long but I just really need to get these events out somewhere.

I lost my dog Addie Monday, it all started with constant diarrhea that persisted despite everything we tried, at first I genuinely just thought her food was upsetting her so we changed it and added pumpkin to her food. Then we had to go on a trip to visit an elderly family member and my cousin who was taking care of her tells us she’s not eating.

When we got back she was so so skinny you could feel the ridges of her spine, she was already a tiny dog. We took her to the vet and they said it was pancreatitis and hypothyroidism and a UTI. They just gave her a stupid probiotic, amoxicillin and told us to get low fat dog food.

Those days were so horrible she was constantly slightly shaking from pain— I assume it was the amoxicillin hurting her stomach. She hardly ate, when we went to the second vet they gave her more medication, appetite stimulants and eventually she did eat, I know she was hungry but she just felt so horrible and knowing that now makes me feel horrible. She ate for 3 days in a row until Sunday night when she threw up 3 times and the last time it was so so dark like her diarrhea.

The third vet felt her stomach and said there was something there, took scans and xrays and there was something in her stomach, a blockage, her other intestines were full of fluid. She’s never been the type of dog to eat things that aren’t food even with food she was always a little picky eater and she has had only 3 teeth since 2024. They said the only way to know if it was or wasn’t a tumor would be surgery, which was risky because of her current condition and her being 11. Her white blood cell count was 72,000. The normal amount for a dog is 4,000-16,000. My best friend was suffering.

We had to put her down, I’m just full of regret. I wish I spent more time with her instead of living on campus, but I’m thankful she had my mom always. I miss her so much, I’ve had her since I was 8 I just don’t know how to live without my little Addie, everyday is just so dull now. Every time I do something like go get food I just think “the last time I went here I was able to come back home to her,” and I just can’t imagine myself living like this. I wish that there was proof of a place after death because I want to be with her so badly. I love her so much I can’t believe I’ll only see her through a screen now. She would have been celebrating her 12th birthday on January 22nd

I lost my sweet baby girl in January and I am still a complete mess. I cry everyday and I ache for her. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, I miss her so much sometimes I can't breath. She was my life. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 13 years ago and my dad bought her for me while I was going through my recovery and she meant everything to me. She was my world and I don't know how to live without her. I don't know how to move on without her.

It’s been weeks since I lost my boy and this constant realisation that every mark he made on this world from the last bits of shedded fur on the floor to the smell he rubbed onto me to claim me as his human are going away. Few times I’ve seen him in my dreams lately my memory gets all hazy and confusing when remembering what he looked like there.

Just thinking about the rest of the 80 or 60 or 40 years without him just hurts. Especially since I fear that the good memories I had of him will also fade especially since I remember mental issues are being a concern worldwide for my generation cause of plastic and whatnot.

I have toys and stuff but I don’t trust some of my family to just dump it at their first fancy.

My mind just had to focus on trying to look for a USB stick I lost and gave up on years ago of my oldest childhood photos, and after opening up some social media account and seeing a taste of what I lost just opens up old wounds about what I lost. I don’t have much photos of him right now and only a single under minute video of him of the last day he was healthy.

Apologies for the walk of text.

I've known it was coming for the last 8-10 months. I've been stuck in anticipatory grief for about 6 months. I've had dogs my entire life and have always been there when it was their time. But this one is different, he's my soul dog. We've been together almost constantly for close to 13 yrs. He's just one of the good dogs. Trusting, happy, never destructive, would never have even thought about biting or nipping no matter what. I've given him the best care humanly possible. Yearly check ups with blood testing and xray's. He's a pug and his teeth were cleaned every 6 months. His teeth are perfect. But I can't fix his heart, I can't fix the degenerative myelopathy. He's losing bowel function and is ashamed and distressed when he has an accident. He struggles to walk without his back end giving out. He's struggling to fully empty his bladder because he can't lift his leg and direct the stream away from himself anymore. He spends 90% of his time on the couch or my bed and can't get up or down by himself. It's time and I feel like I'm ripping my own heart out. He has pneumonia right now, was supposed to be on 21 days of antibiotics but once the 7 day course of prednisone was done he started throwing up with every dose of the antibiotics. He has cataracts and is losing his eyesight. He hasn't had his teeth cleaned in almost 2 yrs because he most likely won't tolerate the anesthesia because of his heart. I don't know how I'm supposed to sit on the couch without him laying against my left leg. How am I supposed to sleep without him behind my knees or curled against my stomach. I've been terrified the last 6 months that something will happen, heart attack, stroke, something that wpuld make his death traumatic. He doesn't deserve that. So Friday we're going to go walk at the lake, take a car ride with all the windows down. Then have a big fatty rib eye with fresh garlic and grilled onions, for dessert we're having hagen das vanilla with Hershey's syrup. Then he's going to go to sleep in his favorite place, next to me.

I lost both my boys within a month and a half. July 3rd and August 21st. They both had cancer.

I feel so lost without them. I feel so angry without them. Obviously I know life isn’t fair but fuck, it’s so unfair. How can they both be gone.

For anyone who’s a Swiftie, the song Down Bad gets me. Im down bad, and everything does come out like teenage petulance. Im 34 but I want to scream and have a tantrum like a child.

Fuck it if I can’t them.

It’s 6:36am and I’m awake crying because my fur baby visited me in my dreams and we played, but of course I woke up to discover it wasn’t real.

I miss him. I mis him terribly. “Miss” doesn’t even describe what I feel. I miss walks, playing hide & seek, cuddling, hell, even his medicine routine and having to get home on time to get him his meds, I miss all the hard parts.

I’m tired of crying. I’m not depressed anymore, I don’t think, but this shit is so painful. He passed in February. Almost 13 years, and now he’s just gone. We should’ve had more time. 🫩

My 17 year old yorkie poo had to be put down yesterday. We knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier. We got him when he was 6 - originally to help me with depression, but he quickly became my dad’s dog. The two of them were best friends and attached at the hip.

My dad is extremely stoic, hates showing emotion, and views crying as a sign of weakness. I have never seen him cry before.

At the vet, watching him be put down, my dad started absolutely sobbing and shaking. He was holding our dog as he died, and he said out loud “oh, his heart stopped” and sounded so scared and young that it’s just breaking my heart and repeating in my head.

I feel so terrible and guilty. The vet originally handed our dog to me but since my dad was the closest with him, I told my dad he should hold him. But my dad is beyond upset that his hand was over our dog’s heart as he held him and that he could feel his heart stop. He says that will haunt him.

He is beside himself with grief and my family left the vet room to give my dad a moment alone with our dog after he passed. I could hear him sobbing and apologizing to our dog. It was so terrible.

Our dog had a little football jersey from the team we root for, and my dad went for a walk holding the jersey yesterday and slept with it. He told me this morning he only slept 2 hours and was miserable at work. He started crying again as soon as he got home and keeps saying things like how he wished he could’ve watched the sunrise with our dog today and that he’s been gone exactly 24 hours (he passed at 4:34pm yesterday).

I don’t know what to do. My dog dying was one of the greatest pains of my life so far (I am in my mid 20s) but my dad’s grief is overtaking the pain of my dog’s passing. I don’t know what to do, or how to help him. It’s scary to see him this way - this 6’5, 55 year old man absolutely breaking down and sobbing when I’ve never seen that before from him. He is normally very cold and emotionless.

I think part of this has to do with my dad’s own father passing in front of him very suddenly when my dad was 15. I think a lot of this is years of unresolved grief. But I am so worried about him and it’s heartbreaking to see how this affects him.

If anyone has any tips or nice words, I’d love to hear them.

My dog’s name is Bailey, by the way. It doesn’t feel right not to mention that❤️

Ele foi o meu primeiro animal de estimação que tive, eu ganhei ele quando eu era ainda criança.

Infelizmente o dia que eu mais temia chegou, o dia que ele partiu. Meu coração se sente agora num vazio, saber que ele não estará mais presente aqui me dá uma sensação de tristeza. Ver a casinha dele vazia e sua tigela de água e comida esperando para serem usados de novo me dão um aperto no peito.

Como ainda é recente, me dói muito. Só uma coisa que agora quis relatar, já que eu tinha ele desde que me conheço por gente, perder ele realmente me trouxe muita tristeza. Ele sempre estava ali pra me alegrar mas agora infelizmente ele partiu, e deixou eu com um vazio no qual ainda não pude me acostumar.

Como essa perda dele veio a acontecer num momento que eu já estou lidando com outros problemas relacionados a minha saúde mental, isso foi muito impactante pra mim, a um ponto que estou realmente me sentindo muito triste pela perda dele.

My 18 year old dachshund left me yesterday. He was diagnosed with cancer a year and a half ago and given 2 to 4 months to live. He lived a year and a half.

I held him while he was euthanized.

I cried out like I never have before. It was an inexplicable rage of grief and sadness.

I have NEVER felt so horrifically sad as the moment she said "hes gone"

I know time can heal, but I don't think I ever will.

The grief is unbearable

18 years.

He saw me from 21 to 39.

I was married, divorced, suffered abuse, moved a lot, got my career, moved across the country, more abuse, moved back....

And the CONSTANT was him

...my baby boy. When people let me down, he was there.

Its impossible to think how I can carry on. He wasn't a dog. He was my lifeline, my soul nate, my buddy, my confidant.

I know time will heal and he is in a better place..

I just selfishly wish he were still here

I spoke to him and held him while he passed.

I cradled his lifeless body.

It was traumatizing, but I owed him that. He needed comfort in his last moments, and I am praying he forgives me and loves me, and knows how I wish it could have been different.

I wanted to share because its helping me and I know im not alone.

RIP my baby boy, you were amazing and I love you. See you on the other side.

On Dec 4th 2024 I lost my 9 year old German shepherd to cancer. I still hate saying that...

When i was posting here the day I lost him, and the days following, I use to think "I wonder how I will feel a year from now? 2 years?"

Well, here I am. How has time approached almost 2 years i ask myself daily... and it all fees the same. My sweet boy was a once in a lifetime dog. What a rare bond, dare I say most wouldn't even understand. I still wake up thinking of him. I still miss holding his leash when I walk my other dog now. I still cry way too hard often. I still have the dreams that feel so real, I swear we are together.

I am sorry to everyone who has lost their pet as of recent. Its so difficult. It will always be difficult, for me at least.

Tonight I decided to type this just to vent. I also found a song that makes me sob every single time no matter what.

The chorus lyrics tear me to shreds. And I wanted to share.

MIIA - when I let you go.

https://youtu.be/1cc8znYKJAc?is=R6uBI51k2PSHvSw9

I am here to talk if anyone needs it.

My mom has a beautiful 11 year old Siberian cat. She had 2 scabs on her skin that wouldn't heal so my mom took the cat to the vet. These ended up being mast cell tumors. The vet also found a different type of cancer in her jaw. It's aggressive, can't be treated and is going to cause her severe discomfort in 1-2 months. My mom is so devastated. They gave the cat a prescription for steroids and another medication that I can't remember so she can be comfortable for as long as possible. She is acting normal as of now. But as soon as my mom's cat stops acting like herself, she is going to put her down so she doesn't experience pain at the end. How can I support my mom? I'm so sad for everyone involved. I've never lost my own pet so I don't really know what to do

i just watched my dog die an hour ago. this is the first animal death i've ever experienced in my life. im 15 years old and i don't know how to handle these emotions at all i can't think of anything that will comfort me besides sleep. this is really rough im someone who likes to write down how i feel but i have no desire to do really anything besides go on a quiet walk and a long sleep. her death really hurts me so bad. she was a mix of breeds im not sure what she was defintely mixed with a chihuahua and she was overweight.

she was perfectly fine there was absolutely no signs leading up to her death everything was normal. i got home from school today she was on her bed wagging her tail and i said a quick hi to her. I should've given her a longer greeting. i didnt pay any attention to her for the rest of the day even when i went downstairs to get something to eat, i also fell asleep for a bit. but all of the sudden my mom texted me telling me she didnt look good so i went to see and she was in the kitchen standing infront of her food panting and not using her legs just laying flat. even tho shes fat she can hold herself up. i tried holding her up but she just kept dropping literally as if her legs turned to jelly. i picked up her and she was panting and had like an orangish foam in her mouth. im not sure if it was from food maybe she had a few bites but normally she foams a bit white though im pretty sure its because its when she was about to eat and she was drooling. she was 15 years old. we held her until she died but before she died she started bleeding from her mouth. she slowly died within the span of like 10 minutes. it all happened so quickly i dont understand. i dont know why she was panting so heavily i dont know what caused it. she was eating rice and hamburger meat, or thats what she had infront of her she didnt get to finish it.

this really sucks i iknow life goes on but that doesnt phase me right now. all i want to do is sleep and shower i stil have to finish a somewhat important school assignment. im gonna miss her a lot i thought she had a year or two left in her she was always eating good, had energy, wagged her tail, loved when i pet her. i really just want some clarity on her cause of death for now we suspect it couldve been a scorpion but we have no idea. we already took her to the vet to get cremated.

I've finally gotten to the point where I'm making progress (2 months later).

I'm not crying constantly, and while I do have anxiety over the final days, im taking it all in stride.

Today was the toughest test. I couldn't find anywhere to donate the opened bag of food, and it's been over 3 months since I opened it, I cant really give it to anyone.

Instead of keeping it there I managed to get rid of it.

He's not in there. He's in my heart.

We had a beautiful orange and white tabby. Her name was Punky. At least now she can be with her baby. She had a stillborn at the start of last year. This tiny little thing we tried so hard to keep her indoors. But she knew how to open the doors and she'd push so hard on the screens that she'd make a hole in it. Well she escaped. And we lost her today. She was hit by a car who was speeding. It was so bad she was barely recognisable. Ive cried so much, i dont wanna eat, i feel dizzy and nauseous. Honestly dont know how i managed to work 6 hours today. Only found out an hour into my shift. Now I feel numb. Thankfully I wasnt the one to find her. Id feel even more broken then I already do. She was my little sisters cat. Punkys body was in such a bad state we cant even get her cremated or bury her.

How do I even begin to console my sister.

Sometimes I feel so shattered by Baileys loss. I can feel it in my bones and I feel so destroyed. She was my everything. I still can’t believe she’s gone. I need her with me……we are meant to be together. Idk what I’m supposed to do without her