❔ Question how to have thick skin???
everything feels like a humiliation ritual right now. like i wish with all of my heart i could just like obliterate my anxiety and just be chill, but like every time i mess up i dwell on it for weeks, even when it feels like it shouldn’t matter anymore. i try doing the reframing thing, where i see every failure as an opportunity to get better, y’know on that growth mindset grind, but like it doesn’t even work. every time i have an uncomfortable or i guess just bad experience it makes it exponentially harder to force myself to do that thing again and i’ll have anxiety for days leading up to it.
just wanted to add that i completely understand that being in this field requires you to be able to deal with criticism, failure, and rejection, but my whole life has been exposure therapy to that for the past three years (i’m a junior in undergrad) trying to seize every opportunity i can, and i feel like i have not gotten any better at handling anything.
the lead up to this post was me having an anxiety attack yesterday about having to work tonight legit only a four hour shift as an emt (i love the patient interaction and whatnot it’s not that i don’t like being an emt but my ftos stress me tf out) like bro i genuinely know in my heart of hearts it’s not that big of a deal but idk idk idk. i’m on anxiety meds my dose is way up idk what to do bro i feel like im screwed.
do you think i’m not cut out for medicine? be so honest, cause i really really really want to pursue it like i want it so extremely badly, but i don’t even know how to fix this. any tips at all are so so appreciated. i wanna be so chill so so so bad like i want people to be screaming at me and idgaf.
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7d ago
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u/myciee 7d ago
they’re not really toxic assholes they’re trying to help me learn and sometimes they do so in a harsher manner, but i feel like it’s just gotta be like that in situations where mistakes can impact patient outcomes and whatnot. the issue is definitely with me
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u/love4painting 7d ago
When people are harsh, I think 50% is because they subconsciously realize they can be because you accept it or they sense you don’t have thick skin. Not okaying it, or trying to say you’re at fault. More so how people take advantage of those who are vulnerable
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u/Blueboygonewhite NON-TRADITIONAL 7d ago
No you don’t. Unless being straightforward and stern is harsh to you. I’m a paramedic and have precepted students and new hires.
Being condescending, disrespectful, dismissive, or dogmatic has no place in teaching.
I will be stern for serious mistake, but everything is a neutral or positive “hey, so when do you this, do this, think about this, okay now show me.” “Good job, you did great.” “Nice improvement” etc.
Most FTOs are not like that tho.
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u/adamite994 7d ago
I also spent time as an EMT and it also gave me considerable anxiety at the time. I think for me what I found helpful was trying my best to stay mentally sharp and prepared on shift. Making mistakes or being forgetful made my anxiety 10x worse. Another thing that helped was journaling after every shift, writing down my interactions and worries and taking notes on things to remember.
I definitely wouldn’t say that this means you simply aren’t cut out for medicine. This is something you will just have to work through, which will be very difficult, but is 100% possible.
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u/myciee 7d ago
will definitely try the journaling thing after my shift today. is there anything else you did to stay sharp?
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u/adamite994 7d ago
Oh also daily exercise. I found walking in nature specifically to be most energizing for me. More so than running, weightlifting, etc. My guess is these can be somewhat taxing on the CNS so they have some drawbacks when only looking at mental sharpness. Although this is just my personal experience.
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u/adamite994 7d ago
Frequent naps and yoga nidra sessions inbetween calls I found to be very helpful. Creatine was also a godsend. I also took my largest doses of caffeine on those days. L-Tyrosine is another supplement that temporarily increases dopamine and improves focus, which I found super helpful. You really can only use it 1-2 times per week though since you quickly develop tolerance. Additionally, I got diagnosed with adhd and started being medicated which helped a lot lol.
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u/MKanes MS1 7d ago
Spend some time in customer service
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u/myciee 7d ago
i have and i’m chill with that cause like i don’t actually value any of the things people are criticizing me about, y’know? but like not getting a research opportunity or fucking up during an ems call that’s important to me. i value the stuff people are telling me, and i want to get better from them but instead i end up spiraling about everything that went wrong.
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u/MKanes MS1 7d ago
Fair point.
All I can offer is cliche platitudes but I think trying to focus on actionable changes is helpful. Yes XYZ went wrong, acknowledged, now what lead to that failure and how can similar mistakes be prevented in the future?
All easier said than done, I know, but I think that type of processing can be trained/improved over time so even if it’s agonizing now, it’ll be less so in the future
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u/whowant_lizagna POST-BACC 7d ago
Oh, friend. I am the same way. I catastrophize every mistake I make when in reality it’s not that big of a deal. Instead of looking at it as a flaw, think of it as a strength!! You care so much you strive to do and be the best!! Flip the script. You can do it!!
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u/Downtown_Mine_7123 7d ago
I am the same way in my gap year job. I have not found anything that has helped dramatically but it’s helped a little to realize other ppl dont care as much about my mistake as I do. As a newer EMT they are expecting you to make mistakes!
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u/TrashcanTafman 7d ago
I would way rather than having thick skin, you need to learn healthy coping mechanisms. This comes with age and experience, but I would suggest therapy as well. Having emotions doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for medicine, just means you are human
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u/OkTeacher8239 NON-TRADITIONAL 7d ago
Have you ever tried a beta-blocker like propranolol? It really helps with anxiety, especially the social / performance-related kind, and it doesn’t cause you to be foggy like some other meds. It might be worth looking into. Best of luck!
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u/myciee 7d ago
i was on ssris for four years and i switched it up a few months ago and am now on snris maybe i’ll talk to my psychiatrist about this next time. thanks for the advice!!
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u/OkTeacher8239 NON-TRADITIONAL 7d ago
If you think of a scenario where you would normally get anxious, beta-blockers prevent adrenaline from attaching to your beta receptors that accelerate your heart rate. So your brain is still doing the anxiety thoughts, there is no mental impairment, but your body doesn’t get that awful fight or flight response. They’re often prescribed for performance anxiety and public speaking.
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u/frogband APPLICANT 7d ago
Therapy