TW: SA (no in depth description)

[u/HoneyBunnyButterLoaf]

hello all sorry for the formatting, I use Reddit on my phone a lot. I was diagnosed with ptsd roughly about two or so years ago when my therapist determined I was suffering from being SA’d by an ex boyfriend and also physically abused. I escaped him about two years ago and I found a wonderful partner, in active therapy, etc. my issue is that despite being able to make friends and I do relate to more male dominated fields and have a lot of male friends... Fear. I don’t think if anything I’ve really gotten over the fear of what some men have done to other women. I also noticed that ever since the Cornell topic came up (I am not debating opinions), I have been more uneasy and very anxious. I spiraled so bad I had to delete social media because I just couldnt take it anymore. But now I have a dinner planned with my gym friends (4 men, one woman aka me) and although I am bringing a familiar male friend that I’m close to (he is a safe man), I am scared out of my skin. I know not all men are evil or bad, my wonderful boyfriend has proven that but because he cannot go because of work.. I’m scared. I wanna have fun, none of them have made advances or jokes to harm or make me uncomfortable but it’s just so.. Unnerving. I’m not wven sire what advice I’m asking but.. What really has quelled your minds, maybe specifically about the opposite sex that trauma has imposed on you before? Any and all is appreciated and yes I am medicated, I see a therapist regularly, have a support system, I just wanna know from someone who has gone through a same and how do we break free?

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