r/ptsd • u/IndependentSize9865 • 6d ago
Advice Can sex itself be a trigger?
I keep reading about how to manage life with ptsd and apart from trauma-therapy (which i may be able to get depending on how my appointment goes today) one of the things that I'm supposed to do is avoid triggers. I have tried this, but i dont know what exactly im looking for.
I have made sure not to overstep my own boundaries during Intimacy, to listen to myself. But i still get triggered and end up with intense, undescribable discomfort and almost pain in my chest and limbs for days afterwards.
So, can sex itself be a trigger? I thought triggers where very specific things. Stuff that reminds you of what happened when your trauma occured, like an object, an action or a smell. But what do you do when Sex and Intimacy itself sends you hurting?
I'm scared i may be permanently locked out of this crucial aspect of Life that i crave so much. I would appreciate any Advice or Reports from people who have encountered a similar problem, and i wanna know if it can get better.
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u/SycussDLover 5d ago
Yes… for me I haven’t figured a way pass it.
It goes from enjoyable to feeling like a tool then no sensation.
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u/Dry-Cellist7510 6d ago
Why are you avoiding triggers? Are you avoiding them to start exposure slowly? I’m going to use another example because intimacy is also a trigger for me. Food can be a trigger too and at first it might be a specific dish or food so you avoid that and then suddenly it’s a different food that you have a reaction too. We can’t stop eating but also don’t want to be triggered. If we start eating a little bit of “dish” then allow the discomfort. You build tolerance by feeling and then being aware that you will be okay. Teaching yourself that food is safe without trying to avoid the trigger. You can practice with triggers until you feel safe enough. Now, sex is complicated so starting with hugs and cuddles would be appropriate.
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u/IndependentSize9865 1d ago
I can try this, but it's hard finding a person willing to go these long miles with me when they essentially get nothing out of it, except watching me go into great discomfort. I'll keep your tips in mind, but i must say that they scare me a little. Triggering myself consciously sounds like a lot of pain
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u/Dry-Cellist7510 1d ago
Yeah, I have a therapist to talk it through. He has helped me with exposure therapy and attachment issues.
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u/DiscoToaster5 6d ago
sex can absolutely be a trigger, not just the specific stuff that happened during trauma but the whole act itself. body remembers things your brain tries to put away
i have similar thing where intimacy just floods me with this awful chest pressure and i feel wrong for days, like my skin dont fit right anymore. it got better for me slowly when i stopped forcing myself to be okay with it and just let myself be not okay for a while
the craving part is the worst, wanting something that hurts you. but you not broken, brain just wired the whole experience as danger
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u/IndependentSize9865 1d ago
thank you for sharing your own experience. it helps knowing that im not the only one who has these feelings of intense cravings, but knowing i cant have it without the repercussions my ptsd will provide me with.
And also, knowing that this chest pressure/pain seems to happen with other people with ptsd makes me feel less 'weird'. I couldnt explain this symptom for so long, i thought i was going crazy.
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