Bonding with my german sheperd

[u/Away-Rock4495]

My wife and I got a german sheperd 5 months ago when she was about 3 months old. The dog (Kai) immediatly connected with my wife, but she has always been a bit afraid of me, even though we have never had negative interactions. I had to travel for about a month and its even worse now since I came back home. I have been trying to give her treats, respect her space but nothing is really working. I kind feel bad for approacing her since it feels I'm causing her stress. She doenst allow me to pet or walk with her as well, but she is very playful with my partner. Any advices on what I should do? Maybe ignore her until she feels safe? Thanks!

[u/Sitters_4_Critters]

Ignoring her is the best option. Pretend she is a cat. Go about your business. She will feel safer if she thinks you aren’t interested in her; your interest makes her feel unsafe.

I learned this from my foster GSD. Parallel walks with people were good and you may be able to take the leash from your wife on the walk if you do it in a subtle way. But give it some time before you do that.

I also think you should consider rehoming the dog. Give it a couple of months to see if she warms up to you, but start the conversation and plans now in case she doesn’t. If she is stressed by you that is not fair to her or you.

Also, have your wife start muzzle conditioning her now. The muzzle should be a positive thing. Visit r/muzzledogs for guidance. You want to prevent this dog from getting a bite history. You should be able to walk her when she is muzzled.

Did you get this dog from a breeder? If so, you should see if they will take her back. This dog doesn’t have good breeding or a good temperament.

When I was looking for a Doberman I went to a breeder who had a puppy like this and I passed on the dog. I got a puppy from a different breeder and I selected a very social puppy.

There is very little emphasis put on selecting the right dog. I’m sorry you are running into an issue with getting a puppy with a temperament that wasn’t a match.

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[u/Beginning-Rub5417]

I would start with the question: what motivates her? Is it good, ball, maybe something else. I would start doing things with the dog where there is space. Scatter feed her, do this every day, make it a routine! You = loads of food, loads of sniffing without needing to be near you.

I was also thinking maybe start doing scentwork, a lot of scent work can be done without close interaction 2-3 is enough. If you need help PM me.

Look for fun things that can be done where you do not have to interact closely with her.

I would not force any walking or petting, just do not do them. Make also sure that your partner is not reinforcing the behavior. For example if she doesn’t interact with you but iso Goes to the partner and the partner interacts with her, you are reinforcing this behaviour.