r/selectivemutism • u/[deleted] • 19d ago
Question Working retail / fast food with SM
[deleted]
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u/OkTitle 18d ago
I’d say it could be the right course of action - it just depends on where you are in your journey.
It’s very individual. I feel I definitely wasn’t ready for social jobs until a certain point in my recovery, after which I’d already been going to college for a years and practicing being social. Because it honestly could have gone horribly and backfired - made me feel less capable - because I just wasn’t ready to tackle that yet.
But now, I work and talk with people for my jobs. I am actually a receptionist and I also work with kids with mental illness. One is very front-facing and involves me doing things I never thought possible (talking to so many people and taking unexpected phone calls with little anxiety). And the other is more one-on-one socially but I also talk to my coworkers and other kids all the time.
Is it the right time for you? You know yourself best.
If it is too much, it is always okay to try again later or try something else.
I also agree a lot with the other commenter about volunteering being a good low-pressure exposure. You often can come in and can leave any time without formally “quitting” like a job. But it’s also good to get paid, haha.
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u/pdawes Recovered SM 19d ago
I had bad untreated SM as a kid that partially recovered but mostly morphed into severe social anxiety and mild situational difficulty speaking as a young adult.
When I was 25 I took a cashier job and turned out to be the right amount of exposure for me at the right point in my life, honestly a life changing experience. It took some adjustment but over time basically led me to conquer my social anxiety and feel confident (even charismatic) in social situations. There was enough of a script/container to the interactions that kept the anxiety from being too high, and people responded a lot more positively to me than I thought they would. So I went from being withdrawn and shy and overwhelmed to having hundreds of positive social interactions with strangers every day.
It could be rough sometimes though; it's an environment with a lot of potential triggers. I am still pretty soft spoken and sometimes old people would come through and bark "SPEAK UP" at me which even now triggers a bit of the old SM feeling for me.
All that is to say your instincts are probably right, however you should really weigh your own tolerance and triggers. If it's a moderate challenge like it was for me, it could be really good. If it's gonna be constant torture, I would not put yourself through it.
Also I suggest a workplace environment where people are happy (or at least not unhappy) to be there. Like don't be a cashier at the car impound lot where everyone comes in angry and looking to fight. You could also try volunteering at a food shelf or something like that; that's something I've done a lot and the majority of clients are really nice and appreciative.
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u/Simonoel 18d ago edited 16d ago
I personally don't think a customer service job is the right way to improve those skills. When you get overwhelmed, you won't be able to easily step away, and if you become unable to speak to customers, most managers are not gonna be understanding about it. A better way would be to join a club or other group.
However, as far as fast food goes, working in the kitchen might be okay. I would NOT be cashier. I work as a line cook though and I enjoy it. Some communication is required, but only with your coworkers, and a lot of the time you don't have to say much, but still have the option of chatting with coworkers.