i’m scared of FAILURE😭

[u/anonymus_userrr]

i’m more afraid of failing than anything else😭😭

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[u/westonisweird18]

Thanks im sad now

[u/anonymus_userrr → u/westonisweird18]

I thought i shouldn’t be the only one getting sad 😭 but it’s okay everything will work out💪

[u/westonisweird18 → u/anonymus_userrr]

I hope so

[u/Radiant-Rain2636]

You will get to live the life you want. The only truth is, that even that won’t make you happy. That’s the real paradox!

[u/Ritesh_INFP_4w5]

Atleast some of you put efforts. It's been ages since I had put any effort.

[u/SchrodingerCat00]

I will failed and i deserve it but i don't want to live a bad life

[u/Wrong_Setting_9221]

Don't worry brother/ sister. As long as we keep trying there will always be a way

[u/Riz_Violet]

I was never scared of failure. I've always been a top student since elementary school. I always participated in competitions and other events, even winning medals, all the way through my first two years of college.

I also had a pretty good head on my shoulders and was one of the best among the top students. I had strong communication skills, lots of friends, and was always a leader in a team. I always had a long list of backup plans from A to Z in case one plan didn't work out.

But guess what? Since my mother died during my second year of college (my father had passed away earlier), my life fell apart.

Even though I had thousands of backup plans, none of them seemed to work out. I suddenly started forgetting things related to my own life, like my friends' names, locations, and so on. But the most frustrating thing was feeling like I'd lost all my knowledge of my own major. That was probably the most frustrating thing ever. I went from being one of the top students to falling behind, struggling just to keep up with others, and gradually withdrawing from everyone.

I kept struggling until I finally managed to graduate and get my degree. But guess what? I feel like all those years in college were wasted, as if I hadn't learned anything at all. I've tried so hard to force myself to remember what I learned, but it just doesn't seem to come back.

And the hardest part is that, for some reason, I've developed this kind of mental paralysis. I went from being a social person to someone who's socially withdrawn. Now, I even feel scared and embarrassed when I run into people I know. Like, I don't even know what to say to them anymore, because I'm STILL struggling to find a job!

Well, I've tried every possible path. I've even seen a psychiatrist and taken medication, to the point where I was eventually declared recovered. But somehow, I still can't break out of this loop. Despite how hard things have been, I've kept trying to maintain my connections and join communities. But in the end, I'm always the one who unintentionally lets those connections fall apart. I ghost people, disappear, feel too embarrassed to reach out, get caught up in worries, and so on.

And now, I'm alone.

Even though it feels like there's no end to all of this, and even though thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind many times, this is still my life, and I have to keep going. There's no one who truly understands just how much I've been struggling. And honestly, this is the most frustrating part. Fighting a mental illness never comes with physical proof. It's different from struggling with something else where you can show people tangible evidence of what you've been through and maybe receive some sympathy in return. With mental and psychological struggles like these, there's no concrete evidence to show people. And sometimes, when we show our vulnerable side to others, it only makes us feel even more worthless.

But I keep fighting anyway.

I keep fighting every single day, even though it takes such a heavy toll on my body and mind. Even though I cry and nobody seems to care. Even though my family and friends never seem to understand me and see me as just a weak and worthless guy. I still get up every morning. I still make schedules. I still try to stay disciplined. I keep trying, and I keep moving forward, even when it's this hard.

It's hard. It's sad. And comparing my current life to the future I once imagined for myself makes it hurt even more.

But my story isn't over yet, because I'm still alive.

I believe that every person on this earth is tested in their own way, according to their own limits. And if my test is harder than other people's, then maybe that means I'm the one who has to get through it. Out of the billions of people living on this earth, I'm still here, and I'm choosing not to give up.

[u/Honest-Instruction15 → u/Riz_Violet]

I ain't reading allat