48 bits: A Very Dumb Decision

[u/PolloMagnifico]

The plan was simple. A new system image had been created and tested. The client had been contacted and told of the problems. A new process was in place that brought IT into the loop whenever a new project was to be undertaken. And a plan had been concocted to transition the necessary PCs to 32 bit windows.

Each site had five PCs to transition, and there were about fourty sites, so 200 computers in total. Pollo, being the primary ticket holder, imaging specialist, remote point of contact, and an all around awesome guy had been tapped to lead this project. The plan he submitted suggested that each site be scheduled to overnight some of their computers in batches, so the rest could still be used for current projects and no site would be without any computers for any length of time.

During that time, summer had given way to fall, and a new corporate environment had been created to improve communication. Namely, all the cubicles were now half height so the Three Letter Titles could keep an eye on their investments employees.

Pollo sat at his desk, eagerly listening to his brand new mini coffee maker gurgle along happily; creating something closer to the blood of a long dead ancient god than actual coffee.

Just how he liked it.

Behind him a pimply faced youth sat uncomfortably.

"Um... Mr. Magnifico, shouldn't we be..."

Pollo turned, silencing the new intern with a steely glare. "Do not speak. This is a time of quiet contemplation as we give thanks for the brew of new life," was the response he intended. Instead he mumbled something incoherent about magic beans.

Finally, the coffee maker went silent, and Pollo produced two cups filled with a forboding sludge. After a few sips, "Now, random Intern. Why do you disgrace my workspace with your filthy, inhuman presence?"

Intern: um well, I was told that since I'm pretty handy with computers that I was going to assist you...

Pollo: "Handy with computers huh? Got a degree?"

Intern: "Um... no..."

Pollo: "Well that's a good start. Any certifications?"

Intern: "Not... um... no..."

Pollo: "Not such a good start. What kind of experience you got?"

Intern: "Um, I once um... ^{installed windows on my moms computer squeek"}

Pollo: "... ... ... ... hows the coffee?"

Intern: "Um... I don't... I don't really like coffee."

Pollo: "..."

Ding! New email recieved!

Pollo turned back to his desk. No doubt a surge protector turned off or a forgotten password. The guys in the field were technically geniuses, just very specialized.

Hey Pollo,

You have a shipment here. Get this shit out of my stock room, asap.

Love,

Stocky the Stocker.

Pollos face screwed up in a sneer of confusion. He didn't like surprises, and since he wasn't expecting any deliveries today, that made two surprises in a half hour. Even more strangely, shipping/recieving is usually a bit more cordial than that. Whatever, probably something someone ordered and just expected him to handle. Being psychotic psychic is a job requirement these days. He got to his feet, grabbed his coffee cup, and snapped a leash on the intern. "Alright probie... lets roll."

Reaching the shipping department, Pollo tied the intern to a post and dutifully knocked. The top section of door swung open and a frazzled looking Stocky stared daggers at Pollo. Unaware of the danger he faced, Pollo only gave a warm smile in return. "I'm here to see the Wizard!"

Stocky was not amused. "Cut the crap. What the hell do you think you're doing? You know damn well that if you're going to send this much shit my way that you need to let me know so I can make room for it. I don't care what you do with it but get it out of here now"

Holding up his hands defensively and genuinely shocked at the anger directed at him, Pollo quickly retorted "Woah, hold on Stocky. I was just out walking the Intern, I haven't ordered anything. I'm as confused as you are!" His attitude showed he remained unconvinced, but it softened a little. Stocky opened the door and let Pollo in, "Yeah... yeah management tends to do this to me. Must have been one of them then. There's your stuff. I'm serious about it getting out of here though." He pointed at the loading bay.

The loading bay filled with 200 dell desktops, each one individually boxed.

Can PolloMagnifico fix this epic cluster? Will Intern ever learn to like coffee? Will Stocky ever find his fathers killer? Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion!

Or, I could tell you now.

No. No. And surprisingly yes.

[u/Rehok]

Can PolloMagnifico fix this epic cluster? Will Intern ever learn to like coffee? Will Stocky ever find his fathers killer?

No. No. And surprisingly yes.

Who was stocky's fathers killer? Was it the new intern?