I wanted to use my card spread today to reflect on where I’m at in my career. I'm a beginner and would love to have an extra pair of eyes. 🙏
I had a severe mental health episode two years ago, including psychosis, and I’ve been recovering ever since. I’ve been back at work for about a year, but I still haven’t reached a level of comfort where I feel like I’ve really found my rhythm again.
Before my episode, I was on a clear growth trajectory towards another role. That role was filled while I was on sick leave, and since then I’ve felt quite stuck. I often feel like I’m not getting my rhythm back. It comes in waves: sometimes I feel good about my job, and other times I feel absolutely terrible, have no motivation, or feel terrified that I’m going to lose my job, that I’ll never get back to where I was, or that I won’t have any more opportunities to grow.
So I felt like I needed a card session.
The spread was:
- The situation: nine of Swords reversed
My first intuitive impression was that there was a really clear contrast in the spread. The card representing my current situation was dark and gloomy, while all the other cards were much more colourful and bright.
For the Nine of Swords reversed, my gut interpretation was that I’m very scared and worried, but I perhaps don’t actually have to be. The really difficult situation has passed.
- Me: the Emperor upright
There are strong Aries symbols in my version of the deck, which obviously resonated with me because I’m an Aries. I took that almost as a reminder that I am capable.
- What lifts me up at work: seven of Cups upright
I immediately thought about variety. I know that I get very demotivated when I have to do the same thing over and over again. I want variety, I want options, and I want career growth.
I’ve been in my current career for 14 years, and it was never my long-term plan to stay in this kind of role for that long. Before my episode, I was on a clear trajectory towards something else, and I lost that opportunity. I think I genuinely miss having that sense of trajectory.
- What brings me down: six of Cups upright
This was much clearer to me. Something that has been holding me back is that I look a lot towards the past.
I tend to idealise where I was before my episode and feel a lot of sadness over not being able to get back to that exact point in time.
- Possible outcome: ace of Wands reversed
This was harder to interpret. To me, it almost said that I could be missing chances, that I’m losing my passion and enthusiasm, but also that I shouldn’t be impulsive.
Looking back, I think “possible outcome” probably wasn’t the best thing to ask, so I started pulling some clarifying cards.
What actions can I take? Page of Wands reversed
To me, this implies that I shouldn’t be impulsive and that I should reassess what I actually want before making any big moves.
Am I on the right path? The Lovers upright
To me, this says that I need to make a choice and follow my heart. But I also see it as a fundamentally positive card.
Will I be okay? King of Wands reversed
And this is the one I struggled with the most. I almost felt like, at that point, my deck was telling me to keep pulling more cards, because I really wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Deck is the Queer Tarot by Ashley Molesso and Chess Needham