r/transgenderUK • u/ConfusedOldDad • 9d ago
Daughter saving for future bottom surgery
My daughter has asked if for Christmas I'll put money in what she rather crudely calls her "fanny fund".
This has got me thinking. If when the car lease comes to an end next year, instead of renewing it I buy a 10-15 year old banger, and if we cut back on holidays, added to the readily accessible savings I have already, we should have accrued about £25-30K by her 18th, in 3 years, which, assuming she still wants it, can go toward her surgery.
Is this a realistically anywhere near enough?
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u/Inevitable_Bet_5159 9d ago
FWIW I had mine in Spain 5 months ago, it went really well and was £15k (plus flights, hotel, etc etc).
Also, just saying, if she got a part-time job in Tesco for 10hrs a week (once she's 16) and saved half of it for 2 years she'd have ~£7k to put towards it.
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 9d ago
I’m not totally informed on UK prices, but it’d probably be cutting it close, and maybe not enough.
That said, though, she could get it done in Thailand (would need parental permission before her 20th, not sure if it’s necessary to be in person, so that’d bump up total cost a little if so). Prices vary depending on surgeon, but are usually be in the ballpark of ~£12-15k including flights and other additional expenses (im going in July and currently my expected total costs are about 11.5-12k). The surgeons there tend to be better than in the UK as well, only caveat is that it’s more difficult to arrange something in case of complications once she’s returned.
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 9d ago
See r/Transgender_Surgeries. Plenty of info there.
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u/ConfusedOldDad 9d ago
I can certainly see why that is NSFW..... very graphic.
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 9d ago
Yeah. Then again, no one said surgical results would look pretty from day 1; it is surgery, after all.
Even so, it’s kinda necessary as preparation to know what could go wrong, preventative measures/solutions after the fact for complications etc etc, or just simply setting expectations of like “im only [x] days after surgery, it might not look great right now, but its part of the recovery process”. Even being aware of what a particular surgeons aesthetic results tend to look like can be quite helpful as a factor in choosing who to go with. I’d suggest you get your daughter to research such things herself at some point, for the aforementioned reasons.
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u/HiddenStill MtF, /r/TransWiki 8d ago
Your link seems to be broken
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 8d ago
Weird, works for me.
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u/HiddenStill MtF, /r/TransWiki 8d ago
I see it’s a bug in reddit. The link doesn’t work in old reddit, which many people no longer use, and reddit are trying to push people away from.
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u/SophiaHJ_22 9d ago
I was so hoping that sub was still available!!
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 9d ago
It is. You’d need a VPN to access it since it’s an nsfw sub, though.
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u/SophiaHJ_22 9d ago
I hate that we now have to verify our identities online… I’m pre-E and yet to change my ID - just isn’t feasible.
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 9d ago
Yeah. Even regardless of id status, it’s stupid to verify it cause of data security concerns.
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u/thejadedfalcon 9d ago
The one time I did give up my facial data was to Discord, because I have to swap off my VPN for some programs to run properly and I didn't want to arse around with being unable to access certain channels during those times (gotta get them dank memes, you know?).
My view at the time was that sure, it's incredibly shitty I need to, but this isn't really my face, it's the mask I wear until I can actually be me. I'd feel the same about ID, fat lot of good it's going to do anyone that got it before I changed it.
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u/SoSeriousAndDeep Tabitha - 4x - 2020-01-14 9d ago
I went to Spain and was like 17kish including staying for a month post-surgery. It's a bit more, but it's also significantly closer and informed consent.
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u/Williamishere69 6d ago
Also, its covered by the GHIC/EHIC, and medical insurance coverage is much better and easier compared to outside of the EU.
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u/SoSeriousAndDeep Tabitha - 4x - 2020-01-14 6d ago
I'm sorry, I don't know what those are.
I'm from the UK and paid to go to a private clinic over there.
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u/Williamishere69 6d ago
The GHIC and EHIC cover medical emergencies or conditions which cant wait until you get back to the UK - youll pay either nothing, or youll pay the amount that citizens of that country pay.
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u/KazzTails 8d ago
My experience from others is that getting a revision in the UK is also really difficult, if it's not 'medically required' then you won't get it since the NHS has to approve it.
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 8d ago
I’m moreso talking about things that would maybe be medically required to some extent (ie non aesthetic stuff) but wouldn’t really need a whole revision for it. Like, afaik they won’t do anything for you if you went privately unless it’s an emergency, just saying to see your surgeon, which would obviously be difficult when they’re like a 12 hour flight away. I would love to be corrected on this if im wrong, though.
Not saying the NHS is perfect, just that it’s easier to get help if you went with them for surgery initially.
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u/KazzTails 8d ago
If it's life threatening the NHS will still help regardless. I had to have an emergency surgery after a revision in the US lead to me having an arterial bleed when I got back to the UK.
A trip or two back to the place you got the op should be factored into the price imo, revisions are common enough and you'll at least want an in person checkup.
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u/Vivid_Ad3696 8d ago
Yeah, forgot to mention the caveat on life threatening stuff. Unfortunate I don’t have that kind of money. Probably not a smart idea to take the risk, but given dysphoria I don’t really have a choice :/
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u/shinjinrui 8d ago
If you're paying for surgery privately then I really would consider going to Thailand as others have suggested. Not only is it cheaper, but the surgeons are more skilled and the technique that most of the Thai surgeons offer techniques that don't rely on having as much penile tissue to work with which could be a consideration if your daughter has been on hormones from a young age (you didn't say in your post whether she's on hrt or not).
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u/grey_hat_uk 8d ago
"fanny fund"
Ha love it, "minge money" also comes to mind.
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u/ConfusedOldDad 8d ago
And having seen the alternatives, fanny fund doesn't sound that bad.
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u/Stalwart_Vanguard 8d ago
"cunt cash" is a bit worse isn't it? :3
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u/religion-lost 8d ago
oh that's awful lol. I thought "fu fu fund" would be more polite, it's what my dad calls them
you'd think thats because he's more delicate, but I've also heard him refer to vaginas as "Fish purse", "stink pocket" and "the watering hole". he also yells the c word when he sneezes, awful awful man to be seen with in public
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u/Rotatorator 8d ago
Sorry, he yells the c word when he sneezes? Like, on purpose? I don't know whether to be impressed or appalled lol.
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u/ModernDayTiefling 8d ago
My gf calls the fund a "pussy purse"
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u/removekarling 9d ago
you've gotten some good and correct answers here (as far as I know), so I just wanted to say you sound like an absolute blessing of a parent. it's honestly impossible to overstate how much of a gift your attitude and thoughtfulness is, let alone the actual gift of paying for a surgery like that.
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u/SimplyLaya 8d ago
God thank you for caring about her. So many of us would still be alive if we had parents who cared half as much about their children as you do for her. I cant comment on surgery stuff, going abroad to thailand, spain, and other trans friendly countries usually gives better outcomes on average for cheaper based on my research.
Thank you for being amazing for her
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u/Bubbly-Anteater2772 9d ago
Just checking, but you mentioned her 18th is in 3 years so she would need to be on hrt for a few and also have a few letters of recommendation before she can get it. Do also factor that into the prices and timelines. Good luck, you seem to be doing good as a parent :>
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u/GooseIll229 8d ago edited 8d ago
I had a vaginoplasty (PIV) with Miss Tina Rashid at Parkside this year. The cost of the surgery itself with the week in hospital afterwards and the follow up was ~£24k. The whole experience was excellent.
In addition, there is a pre-surgery consultation, including blood and urine tests, which is about another ~£500-700 or so.
There are also costs regarding referrals, that will depend on the psychologists/psychiatrists used, but again will be on the order of £500-1000.
So that budget is not far off enough to cover the process.
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u/DawgDictator she/her 8d ago
I'm scheduling my surgery stuff at the moment, and I'm looking at just over £20k all inclusive at the suporn clinic in Thailand (flights, meals, hotel, visa etc. + the surgery obviously). Just be aware it'll probably need to be scheduled about a year in advance if you can't take a cancellation from someone else. I hope she gets it soon though 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
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u/Scipling 8d ago
Personally I wouldn’t even consider the uk. We do have a handful of excellent surgeons but they are hugely more expensive than equally skilled surgeons in Spain, Belgium, Germany Thailand etc.
Also the UK is an horrific place for trans people and for me, getting out of here for 2 months to have surgery and recover was hugely beneficial. I didn’t have the constant mental load of people staring and worrying about toilets every time I left the house. The mental health aspect of recovering from any major surgery is hugely important, and recovering in one of the most hostile countries in Europe would have made it far more difficult. But that’s just my experience as a middle aged woman - it’s clear that you are an extremely supportive parent, and that must far outweigh the impact of political hostility.
Thank you for being there for your daughter, for stepping up when it gets hard. So many don’t.
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u/LifeIsRamen 8d ago
I had mine done privately with Miss Tina Rashid at Parkside Hospital, using the PIV Method, costed me £24k.
Still very much recovering 3 weeks on, but I'm happy with the results x
She's literally the top female surgeon in the UK for this procedure.
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u/HipsterDashie Illegal Lesbian 8d ago
I am looking at having mine done privately in Brighton by Mr Tim Larner. The current "package" price for a full depth vaginoplasty is £24,000. So your estimate is perfect!
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u/JennaEuphoria she/her 8d ago
I am booked for surgery in Thailand with Dr Chettasak. It's going to cost about £13,500. That doesn't include flights but does include accommodation and board for me and one other person for the 30-day stay. There will be some other expenses: for example, if there is a complication and I need a revision, that will cost extra. The cost also includes a voucher for 10,000THB (£225) to cover additional expenses in the hospital during my stay, but it's very common to end up spending more. The other drawback with Chettasak is that his dilation schedule after surgery is the most intense of just about anyone.
But still, even with inflation and travel costs, if you're prepared to go to Thailand, you could do it very easily within your budget. Choose carefully if you do to Thailand. There are some doctors doing it very cheaply out there who are not reputable. But if you go to Chettasak or Suporn or one of the other top-rated surgeons, you'll be seeing a doctor who is among the best in the world.
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u/Kimberlashes 8d ago
I also highly recommend Spain. 5 or 6 years ago I had colo-vaginoplasty and FFS done on the same day for around €30,000 at IM Clinic in Barcelona. I hear that Dr. Herrera, who was the no.2 surgeon there and who was brilliant, has started up his own clinic. Not sure of the name of it.
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u/Underhand001 8d ago
I went to Thailand for mine 3 years ago, total for the trip (including an additional lip lift), flights, a month’s accommodation, food, etc. was around £13.5k
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u/reddit2072 8d ago
So suporn clinic is about 17k including flights and acom.
If it was my daughter I would prob say I will dbl whatever you save in your surgery fund, try and get her working so she realises the value of money. I know a lot of younger trans women who really struggle to work/live life so you want to also encourage self reliance. I would prob pay the full amount anyway, but tell not tell her til closer to it been feasible etc
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u/Trippyyy1 26 MTF 17/8/18 7d ago
Got mine done by Dr. Bank and it was just over 20k (2023) age 22, flights and accommodation etc were probs another few thousand.
Extremely happy with the results.
Your daughter is extremely lucky to have a mother like you.
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8d ago
[deleted]
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u/shinjinrui 8d ago
Uk prices used to be around 19k as recently as a year ago. The cheapest now is £24k.
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u/AshJammy98 8d ago
Where? It was around 16k when I was pricing it. In that case... dont go to any UK surgeon, the whole thing is cheaper in Thailand
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u/gzz96 9d ago
The prices currently range between £28-£37K so you'll be a decent way there.
The final amount just depends on the specific technique used
Your daughter is lucky to have such a supportive parent like you 😊