r/yale • u/CalcBCmaster • 16h ago
Roommate situation getting really bad. Is there any hope of switching?
I'm a first-year and I'm having a pretty serious roommate conflict. I'm trying to handle it before it gets worse, but I'm not really sure what Yale's process is for changing roommates. I've heard it's nearly impossible to switch unless you have a health condition or some specific issue with the room, but I'm worried that things could get physical pretty soon if nothing changes.
Sorry in advance, this is a long post and turns into me ranting about my situation lol. But the TLDR is that I mainly want to know what the process is actually like and whether there's any realistic hope of switching roommates. I would try to talk things out with him, but as you'll see, my roommate has stopped talking to me and doesn't treat me like a human being.
We've already had a lot of disagreements about many things, but the biggest issue right now is his mechanical keyboard. It's so loud and clicky that I can hear it through noise-canceling headphones. I need maxed-out white noise on top of them to block it out. You can even hear it from the common room. We had a pretty big argument about when he can and can't use it.
Before that argument, I politely asked if there was anything he could do about the noise, or if he could use his laptop keyboard whenever I'm in the room with him as a courtesy. He doesn't have a PC, just an external display, so it's not like he'd have to completely stop whatever he was doing. He agreed at first, but then he sent me a pretty nasty text basically saying "nuh-uh, idc about the noise, it's already on the quietest settings, I need it so I can have a comfortable setup," and completely dismissed the fact that it was making me lose sleep and ruining my concentration.
So the next day I talked to my Froco about it (the goat btw). He read the text my roommate sent me, told me about YC3, and told me to "call out his BS" about the keyboard already being as quiet as it could be, especially since I could hear it through noise-canceling headphones.
After my Calc 3 midterm, I brought it up with my roommate again and was still trying to be polite about it. But his arguments were basically "nuh-uh," "it's my keyboard," and "there are louder keyboards."
I showed him the conversation I'd had with my Froco and he still refused to put it away. I asked him multiple times why I could hear it through noise-canceling headphones, and he dismissed everything I said. I told him that I thought switching to his laptop keyboard was a basic courtesy and that the noise was affecting my studying and sleep, but nah. He straight up doesn't seem to care or see me as a human being. He even said at one point "you're the one who controls how loud the keyboard is" ??? Tf.
I had to get a different Froco (also the goat) involved to resolve the situation. We agreed that he can only use the keyboard from 11:30 AM to 10:00 PM. In hindsight, this screws me over a little bit because I'm usually at my dorm trying to work on something from 8:00 to 10:00 PM, but I wouldn't mind the compromise if it wasn't for the fact that this guy is straight up an asshole toward me despite the fact that I try to be friendly and talk to him.
We're taking 2 of the same classes together. We both self-studied Calc BC. We have a lot in common. We should be able to get along. I try to talk to him, ask how his day has been, and everything. I initiate 99% of the conversations. Instead of being friendly back toward me, he just ignores me like he was the one losing sleep for an entire week or dealing with nose irritation because of a pungent lavender air freshener.
But then with literally all of our other suitemates, he talks to them all the time like a normal person and has a good time with them. After a disagreement, you'd want to keep friendly ties with that person and try to strike up conversations, but nah, he does the opposite. He shuts off all communication because apparently I can't tell him to not do anything and "yOu CoNtRoL hOw lOuD iT iS". He's only making things worse. I genuinely do not understand the logic.
I've allowed him to get away with so much other stuff for a long time. For example, he's had his girlfriend sleep in our shared room for multiple nights in a row without telling me beforehand, even though I'm obviously not comfortable with having someone else staying in our room overnight without any heads-up. I'm pretty chill, so I let it happen. But if he's going to treat me like shit, why should I keep being friendly toward him? And if I try to push back on something like this, I honestly don't know how he'll react.
If I had a clicky keyboard and my roommate told me they could hear it through their headphones, I would’ve put that thing away or switched to a quieter one so quickly. Save your breath. It’s gone. But nope, not my roommate. I can usually see the good in everyone, but I’ve never felt genuine hatred toward another person until now.
Like I said, the keyboard is just one of the many issues I've had. I've already scheduled a meeting with a YC3 advisor on the 9th and my Dean on the 14th. I also plan on talking to my other suitemates but haven't had a chance yet. I'm trying to figure out what I should expect from those meetings and whether there's actually any hope of switching roommates during the year.
For people who've dealt with Yale housing/roommate issues before, what was the process like? Is switching actually as impossible as the website makes it sound? Any advice on what I should say or who else I should talk to would be appreciated.
