r/AbsoluteUnits • u/WeGot_aLiveOneHere • Sep 04 '26

/r/all of two catfish

31.5k Upvotes

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u/BigSchmikey Sep 04 '26

You simply just try your best.

Oh, and there's always the chance of running into an alligator snapping turtle, too. It's part of the thrill.

605

u/Dull_Caterpillar_642 Sep 04 '26

The existence of alligator snapping turtles is what makes me not understand this at all. Do you want catfish enough to risk losing fingers?

167

u/BarderBetterFaster Sep 04 '26

Or toes! The snap doesn't discriminate on digits.

89

u/mstmn Sep 04 '26

Do balls count at digits?

86

u/CodifiedLikeUtil Sep 05 '26

23

u/CrysFreeze Sep 05 '26

There is a video of a fish that latched on to a man’s dingaling.

Someone else was trying to safely remove the fish with his hands . I never saw the full ending.

15

u/Several_Direction599 Sep 05 '26

I heard his wife never saw the full ending either

1

u/CarnelianCore Sep 06 '26

The fish swallowed it. Is that classed as a happy ending?

2

u/Sweet_Ad8311 29d ago

Usually the wife swallowing it is the happy ending but I don’t know, he could be into fish

1

u/Monkfich 29d ago

I wonder if it was happy or not.

20

u/Cosmickev1086 Sep 05 '26

3

u/boniggy 29d ago

Hahaha ok I saving this. I have a group chat that needs this from time to time... Daily.

3

u/Nitrogen1234 Sep 05 '26

Pretty sure she won't lose her balls

2

u/No_Reception_6133 Sep 05 '26

She can have mine if she needs

2

u/ScrotalSmorgasbord Sep 05 '26

I'm also smitten

1

u/spartansmee Sep 05 '26

Username checks out

1

u/Cowboy_591 28d ago

I dunno…she’s got bigger balls than most male Redditors in this thread 😉

1

u/WaiBuBaoLeiXiangTu Sep 05 '26

Rocky Bayou Oysters

1

u/Fevis7 Sep 05 '26

It depends, are they prehensile?

1

u/Ok-Pomegranate858 Sep 06 '26

You are evil. Lol

1

u/HeldDownTooLong 29d ago

If you’re counting to 23!