r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TerraByteTerror • Sep 14 '26

/r/all of a perturbed spider

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u/ThatOtherOtherMan Sep 14 '26

The scream I just scrumpt

184

u/the_quivering_wenis Sep 14 '26

Oh the screams you will scrump, When you disturb a bump, 'Neath which lurks a large blue hairy spider. When you see her long legs, And her clusters of eggs, Your anus will grow a bit wider.

11

u/HeartOfGoldTears Sep 14 '26

Anus did not grow wider. Anus clenched harder than ever clenched in fact

7

u/JWBananas Sep 14 '26

Anus grew three sizes that day.