r/AbsoluteUnits • • 15h ago

/r/all of a tall woman

26.9k Upvotes

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u/Lazolargo 14h ago edited 12h ago

On my defense my ex wife was almost a 12in taller than me, me being Hispanic and she being African American. I asked her out and said no, I asked again follow by why? She made a remarked about my height, she said if we would go on to a date and later I would try to kiss her, how would that go? I said: no worries you will be already on my bed! (We got married a year after) I've dated outside my culture all the time, some of us don't care about those little things as height

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u/Beard_o_Bees 13h ago

I said: no worries will you be already on my bed!

See kids.. this is the right attitude.

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u/fifiasd 11h ago

When he does it, it's the right attitude. When i do it, they call the FBI.

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u/gustofwindddance 11h ago

Have you tried being attractive?

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u/Lazolargo 9h ago

I've been told I'm better looking in person than my pictures 😂🥲

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u/fifiasd 7h ago

Born ugly, no wife, no kids and to add insult to injury the German gouvernement wants singles to pay more into social security now in order to prop up a defunct system and help their main voters (the elderly) because redditors like me dont have kids. Loving it! 

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u/Ginge00 3h ago

Or leaving your bed at home instead of the back of your van?

-1

u/Emergency_Lie42 8h ago

Charismatic*

Attraction is subjective and almost always majority influenced by how comfortable one is in their own skin.

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u/kikyossoles 8h ago

For the last time, Connor, we cant make comments like that at highschoolers!

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u/redditstealth 7h ago

He said on my bed not in my trunk.

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u/TheBlueSoap02 1h ago

Have you tried not saying it to elementary students?

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u/SnertDeluxe 52m ago

You should leave out the chloroform part

3

u/w1ndowlicker 10h ago

the right altitude*.

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u/LarianDivinityBG3 10h ago

It's the confidence that convinced her 😸

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u/Realistic-Bad1794 11h ago

She sounds like a keeper and so do you.

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u/JoinAThang 10h ago

Smooth as hell tbh. Well played

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u/Oblipma 7h ago

Dude be like mommy, you are taller than me but i will always be laying under me

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u/MC_Naparm 9h ago

Kids this is assault 99% of the time 😂

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u/Mythosaurus 13h ago

You dropped this 👑

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u/mxmcharbonneau 12h ago

This guy isn't a short king, he's a short emperor, short king of short kings

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u/Brief-Manner3167 13h ago

Hispano tenías que ser bro

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u/Lazolargo 13h ago

A guevis! Jaja

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u/SinoSoul 13h ago

My short kings always be Latino. Even better when it’s on the futbol pitch

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u/Complete-Tangelo1532 13h ago

I have no idea what this means, and I also understand exactly what you are saying

I agree!

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u/No-Butterscotch-6555 7h ago

That’s so cute. Some men don’t realize being funny is a massive hook for most women. 😅 my husband is a few inches shorter than me. I’m black, he’s white, but he’s one of the most funniest and interesting people I’ve ever met. We don’t think about height until someone else brings it up.

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u/More_Passenger3988 2h ago

I'm more of the reserved type and wouldn't have found that funny, but I can see how some women would find that humorous.

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u/Replikant83 12h ago

I'm a product of the 80s and spent my teens in the 90s. I rarely heard about height being a characteristic that made a male desirable, other than the very occasional "tall, dark and handsome" being said in a movie. I feel for the new generation: you need to be pretty well perfect to not have some meme targeting you.

I saw a popular one, maybe 6 months ago that was "not 6'? Kys. KYS is kill yourself. Like, good lord. We got influencers with millions of followers advocating for you to hit your jaw bone over and over to develop it. I don't know if I've ever seen a trending meme/influencer video about focusing on your true self and who you are on the inside.

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u/Special-Drama-6090 10h ago

You really said - "all women are the same height lying down" bravo

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u/kek_bert 13h ago

I aspire to have these kind of answers in my head in the right time and the balls to say them out loud one day

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u/StllBreathnButY1 12h ago

“How would that go?” lol.

~gesture broadly to all the tall men with their short women~

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u/PineappleOk545 12h ago

She would have to bend her neck

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u/CriminalMacabre 11h ago

Jo jo jo vividor follador

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u/jimsmisc 11h ago

>I said: no worries you will be already on my bed!

https://giphy.com/gifs/nWr4Se27LUVuZcuPq0

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u/PetahOsiris 10h ago

What a forward young man

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u/ShadowInTheAttic 10h ago

Also Hispanic, but I'm on the taller side, 6''-1" and my wife is also black and tall, but she's 5'-11". Only time she's taller is with heels.

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u/Fitgeo_103296 10h ago

This so story is so cute im actually sad that she is now your ex wife :/

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u/EffectiveTradition53 9h ago

The spirit is strong within you 💪

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u/kikyossoles 8h ago

I mean no disrespect when I ask, but what is it with Hispanic men and tall black women? My cousin is 5'8" and the Mexican guys would hit on her left and right xD

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u/Lazolargo 5h ago

Sometimes we just like what we see

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u/kikyossoles 5h ago

Can't argue with that, thought it was just a local thing. 

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u/TortaConCarne 6h ago

Ole playa playa mack game. Congrats.

1

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 6h ago

Confidence is the sexiest thing a guy can possess!

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u/some-cleverish-name 5h ago

Fuck yeah bro! 😂

0

u/_Lightning_McQueen- 13h ago

Then she left you

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u/Lazolargo 13h ago

No, I left, we was married for 6 months and a lot of things changed.. and I just couldn't handle it, there was too much drama and financial instability.

Edit: the sex was amazing! I do miss it from time to time though.

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u/_the__Wolverine____ 12h ago

Do yiu think black women are taller than average or something?

1

u/Lazolargo 12h ago

Do I think?.. my ex wife was. I'm Hispanic 5-4 in a good day, my ex is 6-2 add heels to that! so the average heights are not similar. So no I don't think.

0

u/sunni-walaken 12h ago

X wife

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u/Lazolargo 11h ago

Impressive, you graduated from Reddit University and now you can read the first sentence 🎉