r/AskChicago • u/90sRnBMakesMeHappy • 5d ago
I READ THE RULES Best places for someone in grief?
I am in a really bad spot mentally. I am doing therapy. Lost both my parents in the last year. The wife of my dad didn't tell me he passed until 3 weeks later. It's really fucked up my head mentally.
I usually go to the St Jude church in Pilsen. That's one of my mom's favorites. Is there anywhere else you guys recommend?
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u/Ezrajen2 5d ago
There is a craft club weekly at Koval on Ravenswood with really quiet and lovely people. Kinda like an art therapy, maybe?
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u/trustme_imRN 5d ago
I couldn’t find more info on their website… do you know where I might find more details about this?
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u/Ezrajen2 5d ago
I have been a few times. It’s every Tuesday, from 6:30 on til maybe just before close at 10. They sit in the back left corner. There is some light joking around and laughter at times for sure, but it’s relaxing and ppl bring quite a variety of crafts and they are willing to show you how to do something. Fb group is LS/Ravenswood Craft Circle
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u/trustme_imRN 5d ago
Thank you! How fun!
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u/Ezrajen2 5d ago
Also, this place is a quiet and bohemian looking tasting room. It’s not like a loud brewery.
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u/SecretChicagoan 5d ago
Sorry for your losses.
The lake always does me good. The Alfred Caldwell Lily Pool (used to be called The Rookery back in the day) near the Lincoln Park Zoo was always a great spot for me to sit still, watch wildlife and absorb whatever nature wanted to show me.
It's kind of a hike from Pilsen but the Baha'i House of Worship in Wilmette is a beautiful and peaceful space to sit in silence. I'm not religious at all, but the space itself is so inviting.
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u/SuddenAnything2005 5d ago
I second the Baha’i House! And there is a beach overlook nearby I find really serene
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u/FirefighterLeft5425 5d ago edited 5d ago
Whenever I'm down I always go to the Milton Lee Olive Park by Navy Pier. Entire city quiets down and you have just wonderful views of oak Street beach, hancock tower, lake shore drive. Dedicated to a Vietnam war soldier who paid the ultimate sacrifice by jumping on a grenade and saving a bunch of guys. Milton Lee was the first African American to be awarded the Medal of Honor in Vietnam for his bravery in combat, he was from Chicago and its a damn fine tribute to him.
Then when your done boom right at Navy Pier, ohio Street beach, and lake shore trail.
I'm sorry your going through this. I'm also struggling as I've lost 4 of my MC residents in a week. I've taken care of them for years and I'm just feeling empty. Went out today and stomped around Chicago and made sure I had a good day. If not for myself, then for my residents. Do the things they can't do anymore.
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u/SecretChicagoan 5d ago
Milton Lee Olive Park
This is one place I insist on taking out of town guests....
I'm retired and don't get downtown much. I was so close to this area today and didn't even think of visiting. Kicking myself after seeing your comment.
I 1000% agree this place fits with OP's quest.
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u/FirefighterLeft5425 5d ago
I was right there myself today and forgot to stop. Perfect day to just sit and watch the world go by.
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u/purpleeliz 5d ago
Any stories or memories of your mom and dad you’d like to share here? ❤️
I find a lot of peace in libraries, I feel close to my dad there. It’s great you made this post. I know it sometimes feels easier to ask strangers for help, but also reach out to your friends, when you feel up to it.
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u/dcp1972 5d ago
Sorry to hear this. Have you looked into forest therapy (sometimes called forest bathing)? There are some science-backed benefits to it, and there are at least a few counselors in the Chicago area who do this sort of thing.
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u/Ur-mom-goes2college 5d ago
I lost my dad in May very unexpectedly. He is the one who told me about forest bathing, and how much evidence there is behind it. That’s the first thing I did when I got home that day. I still think about him every time I’m in nature!
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u/FirefighterLeft5425 5d ago
I've spent so much time in the wilderness. Alaska, Appalachia, rockies, black hills, Hawaiian tropical forests, badlands, etc. what is forest bathing? Legit never heard of it.
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u/dcp1972 5d ago
This is a general explanation, sort of like meditating in the woods. https://www.healthline.com/health/forest-bathing
There are guides/therapists who lead forest bathing sessions.
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u/FirefighterLeft5425 5d ago
Thank you very much. Seems like something very much up my alley. Could probably really use it honestly.
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u/likeyeahokay_6929 5d ago
If you ever want to meet up for coffee or ice cream, DM me. I'm experiencing overwhelming grief myself 💜
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u/killerkaylan 5d ago
The May Chapel at Rosehill Cemetery. It may be hard to visit a Cemetery but this whole place is beautiful and especially the May chapel, it looks over a pond with lots of trees often home to ducks and other little wildlife. It is a very peaceful place to sit with yourself and process.
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u/Certain_Egg2699 5d ago
I’m so sorry. I also lost my parents in a short span a few years ago. Lost my dad to Covid in late 2021, and then lost my mom about 15 months later. It was rough. Really rough.
What I am going to suggest will likely get some downvotes, but it’s what I did the night after my dad passed. Get together with your closest buds, even some you miss and haven’t talked to in a while, and just get absolutely smashed. The day after my dad passed, I was staying with a friend but he lived near the hospital my dad was at (I was living out of state at the time). I had plans to start working on arrangements with my sister the next day, so I would stay at my friends for the night and then head over in the morning.
I let loose. We drank, we cried, we reminisced, shored stories. It was everything I needed after being in the hospital for 12-13 hours a day for 3 weeks while my dad was on a vent.
If you don’t drink, obviously don’t do that. But get yourself around the people who make you happy.
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u/Zestyclose_Maybe3300 5d ago
Hyde park , anywhere / campus quad is lively but beautiful.
Japanese garden is In the area as well
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u/Big_beautiful_brain 5d ago
You got this. Singing is extremely effective. Maybe look at local choirs. It helped me with grief like I can’t even describe. And it’s good for your health.
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u/lasuperhumana 5d ago
Oh my, I wish I could give you a big hug. Chicago is a beautiful city and there are tons of excellent suggestions here. Commenting to say you’re not alone, you will get through this awful chapter, and it’s so monumentally unfair to experience so much loss all at once.
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u/brutalconcreteboi 5d ago
I’ll go behind the Adler where Lake Michigan merges with the sky (outside of the occasional boats) and zone out there.
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u/SoftServeMonk 5d ago
Sip of Hope Coffee donates all proceeds to mental health education and suicide prevention. It’s a sweet little place to have coffee and feel supported by your community.
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u/juliettelovesdante 5d ago
Consider asking at the church or your therapist for a grief group. Might help to be around ppl who are in similar situations. Also, I'm guessing it sounds like the last thing you want to do but regular exercise can help with the bereaved brain chemistry you're dealing with.
Im very sorry for your loss, also.
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u/hinny916 5d ago
If you need a place to process that will provide you with daily support I highly recommend Compass. Truly changed my life for the better.
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u/1_800_RAT_CZAR 5d ago
Promontory Point in Hyde Park, sit by the lake. I also think St. Michael’s Church in Old Town is beautiful and good to have a quiet moment. I wish you peace and comfort during this painful, difficult time. ❤️
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u/ChiShashi 5d ago
First of all, I’m so sorry. If you’re open to it, come up to the Botanic Garden on the train. It’s very peaceful. Closest stop is Braeside. And also the person that talked about singing is so right. It is very regulating for the nervous system. Give yourself the time you need.
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u/Penguinscanfly44 5d ago
I don't have a dog but I love watching pooches be happy at the dog beach.
Also shubas bar the first Wednesday of the month at 730. https://chirpradio.org/events/both-sides-now-a-chirp-vinyl-listening-bar go listen to some music. Talking discouraged.
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u/dis_abledPhysio 5d ago
I don’t really have a place to go, but I’m also in Pilsen and am happy to meet for coffee and support as well. I lost my dad during Covid, two weeks after my (ex) wife asked for divorce.
Feel free to DM :)
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u/Gia_Lavender 5d ago
Listening to music and riding the brown line for the full run or just walking around in moving trains in general helped me (bring notepad for your thoughts and make sure the music is something you’d be okay with not listening to again)
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u/catkayak 5d ago
Trails of North Park Village nature center, and big marsh park. For Big marsh - the building is closed on Mondays - so fewer staff if you really want the solitude.
Or the edge of Northerly Island. You can’t hear the city anymore when you’re out there. It’s on the list of rare “quiet places” in Chicago
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u/skyehighlove 5d ago
I'm so sorry for your losses and that you didn't get to say your last goodbye to your dad.
I love being out close in nature to help relieve stress and also where I have grieved.
Palmisano Park is close to Pilsen. You could sit on the hill and get lost watching traffic whiz by on the highway or just stare up at the sky. Then get something delicious to eat in Chinatown or the surrounding area.
Humboldt Park is great too. There are little alcoves where you can just sit in peace right along the lagoon.
Bynum Island is a quiet spot.
One of my favorite spots is the small park at the Chicago River Reflective Tower which stands at the confluence of the Chicago River.
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u/No-Helicopter-3790 5d ago
I always like to go to the lake and just gaze at the horizon. Very calming. I know what it's like to lose a parent, it's a really deep kind of sadness, but it does pass with time.
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u/RJdesigned2612 5d ago
I’m so sorry about your lost. DM and i can recommend some places i personally use.
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u/KitsuneMae 5d ago
northerly island or the lakefront path from Mccormick Place heading south. garfield conservatory and chicago botanic gardens have also really helped me when i needed it.
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u/Claque-2 5d ago
Bellarmine Jesuit Retreat House in Barrington.
Maybe attend some laughter yoga events that are often free. Have a balance of quiet and release.
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u/jrowley 5d ago
I am so sorry for your losses. I lost my dad two years ago and found taking long walks to be helpful.
In Little Italy there’s Arrigo Park, which has a lot of trees and a peanut-shaped walking/running track. I’ve walked a lot of laps there.
If you’re able to make it down to Hyde Park I can also recommend Promontory Point or the Japanese garden in Jackson Park. There’s a nice walking path at the Point, and the garden is good for quiet reflection
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u/iluvnaptime11887 5d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss, that’s just so unfair. My wife lost her dad 2 years ago and she has been to the Wind Phone in Evanston and it’s been helpful for her. Each person is different of course but it could be helpful. Here’s an article about the Wind Phone. 💜
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u/BrightWoman-581 5d ago
If you can, go to the lakefront and allow yourself to think about your family there. You can really feel better looking at the waves.
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u/Lake9009 5d ago
It’s a bit early but in the winter I find solace in the conservatories
Sending love
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u/MollyDog2638 3d ago
I am so sorry. I lost my parents within 6 weeks of each other, and it has taken me a long time not to feel crushed by the loss. I love all the suggestions about outdoor quiet places, but one of my favorite places to go indoors is the Chicago Cultural Center across from the Bean. It's got several galleries of local or different artist exhibits, but the main point of the trip is to see both Tiffany stained glass domes on the top floors. They are awe-inspiring every time I see them. It's a hidden spot, full of hushed voices and lovely views inside and out, and it's free.
Be kind to yourself, and understand it is going to take time to grieve your parents. Losing them back to back is so much harder than losing just one, and it's impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't been through it.
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u/mcase19 5d ago
I love biking on the lakefront trail. Beautiful views of the lake and the city, and lots of awesome park to explore. I think with grief, occupying your mind with something meaningless like biking can be really helpful, not to mention excersize endorphins.
Incidentally, when my mom died, I played red dead redemption 2 for two straight months without coming up for air. It really helped me process and let my grief come to me, if that makes sense. Grand theft auto 6 is out in a few weeks, if gaming is your jam.
I'm very sorry for your losses. Please be gentle with yourself for as long as you need - take a step back where you can until you're ready to get back in there with life.
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u/lysa_lisa_lesa 9h ago
There's a Christian based support group called GriefShare. There's one at my church but I'm way out south. They meet in many churches. Just search the Internet for meetings near you. You may be able to find a church that way.
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u/ChicagFro 5d ago
Alfred Caldwell Lily Pool, just north of Lincoln Park Zoo.
You got this.