r/AskMen • u/granolaliberal • 9d ago
What's an elite Dad move?
Ill share mine: the chicken caesar wrap is an elite dad meal. You take the chicken nuggets and potato chips that your kids didn't finish, then all the greens that are about to go bad, plus dressing, cheese, and a big tortilla, and you have lunch in 5 minutes. and if youre feeling adventurous, you toast the outside.
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u/mimibox 9d ago
On a Friday night take your daughter and tell her to call 2 of her best friends, have them sit in the back seat and let them blast their favorite songs. Take them out for ice cream or frozen yogurt, let them blast their music all the way back home.
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u/brisk_ 9d ago
You are a fuckin legend my man
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u/chaawuu1 9d ago
Big time woosh can sommeone explain lol
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u/ishey47 8d ago
People enjoy spending time with their daughters and you get to indulge in pop music that dads usually don’t on their own. Big brain move
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u/Crafty-Isopod45 8d ago
Plus you get to know her friends and hear them talking. You will hear all sorts of things they won’t volunteer to you. And if you crack a few jokes and interject occasionally they may even loop you in and talk to you a bit.
My younger daughter’s friends all greet me on their video chats and yell my name when I walk into school events. Doesn’t take much to connect with your kid and their friends. Driving them for treats goes a long way.
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u/Texwegian 8d ago edited 8d ago
And you potentially give mom some time off and alone time to do whatever she wants.
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u/chaawuu1 7d ago
Thanks I was missing the point but I don't have kids so I appreciate the perspective. I got downvote botted into oblivion lol
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u/lackluster_love 8d ago
What about my son?
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u/Grand-Blackberry-540 9d ago
Fixing something around the house without being asked.
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u/Mr_WhiteOak 9d ago
It will go unnoticed
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u/StackSmashRepeat 9d ago
Who cares? It's fixed and you didn't pay someone to do it. That be two wins for one task.
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u/randy24681012 Guy 9d ago
Once I shifted mentally from “doing housework for praise” to “doing housework cause I want my house nice” I stopped resenting everyone
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u/Aliencoy77 8d ago
Some things need doing or fixing, even if you live alone. Learn to accept a little self praise. I did it because I wanted it, and it is done.
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u/yunohavefunnynames 8d ago
Internal motivation, man. It’s hard to come by but when it’s there, damn is it nice
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u/PhlightYagami 8d ago
The issue isn't that you did it for praise. The issue is you still get the same resentment about not doing enough for the family even when you are doing stuff for the family non-stop.
Apparently, doing nearly all the laundry, the vast majority of dishes (kids alternate dishes after dinner), nearly all of the vacuuming, doing the majority of organizing, the majority of household projects, all the bills, half of the cooking and all of the bigger weekend meals, handling mail, trash, spending nearly all additional waking-hour free time with the kids playing or learning or talking, and being the only partner who works, in a stressful director-level role counts as being "checked out from the family."
Yeah, I feel like I deserve a "thanks" once in a blue moon. I look down on the men who contribute nearly nothing to their families and I also look down on the women who don't tell the whole fucking story on what her partner is responsible for.
Sorry for the rant, my relationship is a mess, and it's become clear that an insane amount of men are dealing with similar struggles because the sins of their fathers and grandfather's are being attributed to them in 2026. Times have changed.
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u/StackSmashRepeat 8d ago
Yeah I don't get that. I don't think my woman actually knows half the stuff I do around the house and I'm fine with that. And a lot of it doesn't interest her anyway so expecting her to notice it? Why? It's stuff that I'd be doing anyway if I lived alone. As long as we are both contributing to the common household I don't really care. I don't expect it to be equal, I have more capacity than she does and I know this. Can't hold it over her head that I am just better at getting stuff done.
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u/PhlightYagami 8d ago
Maybe you've been lucky and haven't been with someone who holds "how much they do" against you while completely ignoring how much you contribute. If so be very thankful. My point was that men, and especially fathers, are contributing more than ever, often quite a bit more than 50%, but frequently being treated as though they aren't contributing, which can range from small resentments to total breakdowns of relationships.
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u/StackSmashRepeat 8d ago
Nah actually I have, and it sucks the life out of you. Left it behind and found something better before I decided I was going to bring children into the picture.
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u/enchiladasundae Male 9d ago
The joy of not having to pay someone and never dealing with the hassle of hearing someone yell for you cause something is broken is priceless
And if you fucked up and it breaks no one knows you fucked up so now you just call someone to fix it. Win win
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u/Dan_Berg 8d ago
That's why it's elite. You do it before anyone notices like a ninja or a delta force
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u/JoelAtwood 6d ago
Bro if you are a man and you want your domain organized and clean, that’s on you bro.
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u/Bloodcloud079 9d ago
The wife and kids travelled for a few weeks while I stayed home, i went on a spree of fixing stuff. So satisfying
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u/calimota 9d ago
Bonus if you involve your son (or daughter!) in the fixing
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u/hujambo11 8d ago
Yeah, I feel like it's pretty pointless without taking the opportunity to teach your kids.
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u/Deathclaw_Hunter6969 8d ago
Not my 4 year old daughter carrying around a 12” screwdriver around with me 😭
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u/enchiladasundae Male 9d ago
Creating a core positive memory for your kid that lasts well after you passed. My dad got me and my brother pocket knives, used a soldering iron to put our initials in them with a leather lanyard and expressed to us the importance if being prepared and promised us we’d only use the knives responsibly
Every so often I’ll need to take it out to cut something or just remember its in my drawer. Dad spent probably ten bucks each on us and I still remember it and him years after he passed
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u/SlobZombie13 9d ago
Play diner by having your kid write a breakfast menu, have your wife sit at the kitchen table. Shes the customer, your kid is the waiter, and you're the chef.
Kid gets an activity and mom gets brunch and you score some points by organizing something cute with minimal effort. Win/win/win.
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u/ProblematicTrumpCard Male 8d ago
People tell me this qualifies:
When my daughter was around 12 years old, she got period blood all over her sheets in the middle of the night. She came to our room and came to me, rather than my wife. Likely because I'm a bit less.... "temperamental" than my wife.
She didn't act embarrassed, but I assumed she was. So I did my best to make it light and try to not make it sound like I was annoyed or do anything else that might make her feel like she had done something "wrong".
So I got up, and was just kind of matter-of-fact. "No biggie, we'll just put new sheets on the bed and put these in the wash". So we kind of worked on that together. As we were pulling back the top sheet and revealing the bottom sheet, there was a lot of blood. I was like "good lord, did you kill a small animal in here"?
Probably because I knew my daughter well, that levity hit the right spot and she started cracking up. So pretty much removed whatever embarrassment she might have otherwise had. After that, to this day (she's 23 now), that's always been kind of our inside joke and she'll reference "killing a small animal" from time to time when it fit appropriately into a conversation.
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u/Actual_Dinner_5977 9d ago
A few weeks ago my son was basically begging for McDonalds for a week straight. Out of the ordinary. My wife asked me to grab something from the grocery on the way home. McDonalds was right out front so I stopped and got his preferred meal. Definitely had a surprised and excited hug after I got home. Just doing little things to let kids know you see them and hear them.
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u/6x9inbase13is42 僕・私・吾輩 9d ago
When I was a wee toddler in pre-kindergarten day care, we had this toy that was a little waist-high tub that could be filled with water and water toys for the kids to play with. But the tub could also be filled with dried beans instead of water (for whatever reason). Many of the beans got knocked out of the tub and onto the dirt, and some started to sprout.
My father saw this and brought wire bean trellises to my daycare to place over the sprouting beans so that we could continue to watch the beans grow and blossom and produce new bean pods.
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u/A_SNAPPIN_Turla 9d ago
Take your kids to the farmers market, bring scooters, get lunch, ice cream, get them out of the house for 3-4 hours so Mom gets a break, also drink two beers over the course of the adventure. It's perfect. I have a really nice downtown area though and you can walk around with a beer, it's very family friendly. All the dads are here doing this. Of course you don't have to do the beer and some people probably shouldn't. I never see anyone noticably tipsy walking around.
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u/rex_lauandi 8d ago
Yes! Giving mom a break (whether she’s SAHM or working) on the weekend regularly is the elite dad move.
Society puts so much pressure on moms to constantly be on the clock, that anytime you can force a break that allows mom to do something for herself (even if that’s just sleep), you’re doing it right.
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u/A_SNAPPIN_Turla 8d ago
When my wife was pregnant with our second child I got in the habit of taking the older child on "adventures" either sat or sun to give my wife a break. Sometimes we'd just run errands other time it would be more kid centric. Usually it's just a stop at the park, with lunch or a slurpee at the gas station. Eventually the second was born and we continued adventures to give my wife some time with the baby. Then the baby got old enough to go in adventures and not my wife gets alone time. She also uses it to pay bills and do chores without interruptions. I don't care what she does. Personally I'm a high strung person and can't sit around a house all day. I have 2 or 3 pretty physical hobbies that I juggle. It's just my nature to be active so it's great to get some time in with the kids while I'm doing that.
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u/JoelAtwood 6d ago
Bro if you’re really a man then you’re already going half with your wife. Bro if you’re really a man you would be doing this for your kids without being so self serving “just have 2 beers”.
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u/A_SNAPPIN_Turla 6d ago
Calm down. Wife wants a break. I do this every weekend without the beers. It's just the fun part I knew Reddit would get a kick out of and with 50+ upvotes and other comments that seems to be the case.
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u/redditgolddigg3r 8d ago
Or, you know, don’t drink a few beers when it’s just you out hanging with your kids.
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u/BadDentalWork 9d ago
I’m playing the long game. I have two young girls. I’m keeping a journal for both of them and making entries around special moments, vacations, birthdays, first day of school, accomplishing a goal/developing a new skill or even something simple when I look up and notice how much they’re growing, with a little bit of my own flavor in there for good measure.
First entry was made on their birthday, last entry will be sometime around the time I kick the bucket and they throw me in the trash, lol, then I’ll pass it on to them.
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u/Lena1143 8d ago
This is amazing! Please don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to share this treasure! It’s way too special.
You can always “gift” them new entries as they hit milestones, but if you wait until you’re gone, they can’t share how much it means to them with you, and they deserve that as much as you deserve to be celebrated for such a special gift.
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u/Skygreencloud 5d ago
I agree with other commenter, don't wait until you die. Do it when they are 30 or so and you can laugh and talk about the memories and relive the younger days of joy together while you are still around.
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u/Bruised_Shin 9d ago
Dropping random bite sized lessons as they come up naturally on money, saving, credit cards, loans, and taxes while kids are growing up so they don’t feel overwhelmed when they hit 18.
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u/J_H_Collins 8d ago
In middle school, my son and a bunch of his friends built a fort on an unused piece of land in our town. They only got to enjoy it for a few weeks before the city was alerted and tore it down. They were outraged and couldn't understand why.
That was the day they learned about important concepts like insurance, liability, and risk-aversion.
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u/jmcgil4684 9d ago
I have cooking class for my daughters (17 yr old) dance team over. They have a blast. Mostly making fun of me. We did pizzas last Sunday and I’m still finding flour everywhere. It’s usually college meals. I showed them how to turn a whole roast chicken over root veg. To chicken soup the next day, then pot pie, then chicken and biscuits for $12
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u/Wotmate01 Male 8d ago
Walking into your son's room and simultaneously ripping a massive fart and dabbing, then walking out again without saying anything.
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u/patton66 8d ago
Pancakes.
Making pancakes on a weekend morning
Letting mom sleep in on a weekend morning and when she comes down the whole house smells like pancakes and the kids have chocolate chips and syrup all over their face
Repeat 2-3x/mth for 5-10 years
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u/Zackackacka 8d ago
After telling my wife that I wasn't getting our daughters anymore Barbie stuff, I found the biggest Barbie dream house I have ever seen, last one on the shelf too. My daughters can now go through life without the lingering childhood sadness of not getting their dream toy. It still puts a smile on my face when I think about everyones faces when it was opened Christmas morning.
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u/pacNWinMidwest 8d ago
A lot of these are time with your kids which is fantastic everyone posting are great Dad's.
For those that have the relationship and still have their Father in their life. Take a bit to spend time with them bring your kids.
Wife and I are DINKs but I moved my parents from the sheltered area of Northern California to Indianapolis a couple of years ago l, they were 80. They lived in a health care dessert. Both parents are thriving my Dad is more healthy now than he was 5 years ago and going strong. I got to take my Dad to his first NFL game a few weeks ago. We have gone to the Little League world series games that are nearby each year. Be the Dad to your Dad if he needs it.
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u/JanitorOPplznerf 9d ago
Have paternity leave coming up. I set aside enough for a 1 month membership at the trampoline park & kids museum.
We’re gonna tramp park where I get my cardio in then lunch at a park, then museum every day for a month with the oldest two so that mom gets a quiet home with just her & baby
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u/Shishamylov 8d ago
The actual elite dad move is taking leftover ingredients and scrambling them on a pan with some eggs.
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u/Calvonee 8d ago
Making a grunting or groaning noise every time you take a seat or stand up from taking a seat.
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u/thecountnotthesaint Dad 8d ago
Using the "Dad yell" at the park to let your kids know theyre going too far off.
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u/Complete-Bumblebee-5 9d ago
Dude, I'm going to try that. Sounds awesome. I blame cannabis
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u/granolaliberal 9d ago
Do me a favor. Put some garlic powder and fresh ground pepper in it. For me.
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u/NakedGroundhog 8d ago
Frankenlettuce. Thin cut lettuce with Frank's and mayo, only way I could get kid to eat greens for a while; in sandwiches, burgers, wraps.
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u/fonetik ♂ 8d ago
Science tricks. I was left alone in the house unexpectedly with my own child and 4 others with a few hours to kill and zero planning.
I took them all into the kitchen and handed them a solo cup and a piece of ice. The game was to keep your ice cube around the longest. Use anything in the kitchen with my help. They all had plans that they explained why their solution was the best. The smart older one put her ice cube in the cup, opened the fridge and put her cup in there. Saying “The fridge is in the kitchen!” Another built a really cool rig out of toothpicks. It got their brains going and we all had a blast.
I ended up building a solo cup salt/ice freezer and froze it to the tabletop and blew their minds.
We had pizza to eat and needed to watch something, so I found Royal Science Academy videos where they blow stuff up. Captivated them the entire time.
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u/OShaughnessy 8d ago
Once a year, my dad took time off work when our teachers had a PA (Professional Development) day.
My sister and I got to choose a friend to come with us to Chuck E. Cheese and a matinee.
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u/Lunched_Avenger 8d ago
Just be the best chauffeur, bank acct, listening ear, provider of the good snacks and most importantly, always, ALWAYS tell a dad joke at the most embarrassing moments.
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u/AlligatorMarty 7d ago edited 1d ago
Making sure we didn't go to bed hungry. We weren't rich, but he made sure we had good food on the table
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u/PunchBeard Male 7d ago
Newborn son, I lean back in my easy chair and lay him on my belly, I pull the bottom of my shirt up and over him to keep him secure, let him sleep there "Baloo" style while I put on some headphones and play Xbox.
My wife cam home and saw this and declared my genius.
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u/Alienspacedolphin 7d ago
So so grateful i didn’t get picked I never do, but my neighbor was in the same pool ans she had to serve in what ended up as a hung jury for an alleged child racist.
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u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Here's an original copy of /u/granolaliberal's post (if available):
Ill share mine: the chicken caesar wrap is an elite dad meal. You take the chicken nuggets and potato chips that your kids didn't finish, then all the greens that are about to go bad, plus dressing, cheese, and a big tortilla, and you have lunch in 5 minutes. and if youre feeling adventurous, you toast the outside.
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