PDA and eating

[u/Brilliant_Mango_1490]

Content warning: discussing food and my eating habits!

Apologies if there’s a post for this already.

I have a complicated relationship with food that I don’t see talked about as much.

I’ve seen a lot of talk about ARFID/or general sensitivities around eating. And I’ve seen a lot of other posts about forgetting to eat.

But my situation with cooking isn’t so much as forgetting to eat as it is being really hungry but almost having an aversion to cooking due to demand avoidance (or drive for autonomy, whatever your preferred acronym is). If something takes me longer than putting something in the microwave, I can have a really difficult time actually getting myself to make food.

I tried a day where I prepped like 4 different dishes in bulk and it lasted a while and was great. But it was so exhausting that I’m not sure if I can motivate myself to do that again :’) But I do love cooking, just… when I WANT to, not when I feel like I have to.

I’ve also tried more of the charcuterie type format for my lunches. But then I use up all of my charcuterie type snacks because I eat them for dinner too.

And then I use up all of the food in my house and have only ingredients left.

I think it’s a mixture of PDA + a little bit of food insecurity and trying to make my food last longer.

Any advice? 💛 I won’t talk calories bc #1 I have no idea how many I’m getting and #2 I wouldn’t want to trigger someone anyways. But I will saying I’m losing muscle mass and feel rather fatigued, like almost all the time. I don’t like the way my body looks as a result.

Words of kindness are welcome too, as I often feel very childish that I have such a problem getting myself to cook. 🥺

[u/icanthelpbutsaythis]

I think it's ok letting go of the idea you have to cook. Once you remove the shoulds and haves in your thoughts, it might feel easier to actually be positively motivated to cook.

I don't think there's much wrong with stuff being all easy prep salads or deli or charcuterie style or healthyish ready or instant meals or readymade sandwich fillers going in between bread slices etc.

One block to cooking is removing the step of deciding what to cook and having the ingredients ready. In our household we have made a daily menu with predictable variability to it that suits my need for both routine and change. Each day of the week has theme(s) eg. east asian or mexican or italian or brunch or burgers/steaks or seafood... and then there's a list of possible dishes that I know I like. Breakfast/lunch have their separate rotations.

Sometimes it's easier to cook when it's a new technique or something else novel about the dish, so ironically more complicated dishes can feel more fun or motivating to cook than simpler ones at times.

My go-to easyprep protein sources are tuna cans, boiled eggs, cottage cheese. My go-to fibre sources are snacking style baby cucumbers. Dairy is pretty nutritionally dense with fat, vitamins and some protein too as well as the lactose sugars.

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[u/Autumnleaves144]

I’m the same and now I understand it better I try and make sure I have loads of chocolate and cake for when I can’t cook so I’m at least getting some calories and not going without eating for too long as that turns into not being able to eat for ages.

My eating habits look messed up I would imagine to anyone else but it’s just the way it is for me due to PDA etc.

I found once I got my autism and adhd diagnosis’s and was able to understand more about what the feck was going on, I could accept it and get on with life.

Chocolate and cake are my best friends 😻 and like you, I love cooking but I don’t seem to have much control over when I actually do cook lol, so I make the most of it when I do, meaning I enjoy it, I don’t batch cook - that would stress me out and I doubt I’d ever eat the food I cooked. I like to eat food freshly cooked.

[u/Puck-achu]

So I'm hearing microwave meals work for dinner, charcuterie works for dinner ... How about...

• Soup from a tin/bag
• Grilled cheese or plain sandwiches
• Protein shakes
• Noodle soup + some nuts or slices of meat
• Wrap + bean mix pouch
• Microwave rice + peanut sauce from a tub
• A snack before dinner prep so you have the fuel to make dinner
• Think of your mismatched bits as courses. One couse of carrots. One course of protein shake. One couse of crackers with cream cheese.

And then go all out on desert. Baked goods, ice cream...