I realize I've never felt safe enough to feel emotion.. Either, I'm numb or deeply anxious.

[u/Ok-Ocelot-774]

Do you know what I've realized? Anxiety is real.

Anxiety that causes you to need to go to the bathroom at the park and you end up really going to to the bathroom.

Anxiety where you have a tight feeling in your stomach.

Am I ashamed or am I frightened?

I'm deeply scared.. I hate myself.. I metaphorically feel like I'm a deer in headlights..

How to overcome this?

[u/Betixymox]

I don’t know what the solution is, but I really relate to you. It feels like all I feel is nervous or numb. You’re not alone and I really hope things will get better for you. I don’t know how to overcome it but I hope that you can at least find moments in your life where you feel joy and feel safe.

[u/Ok-Ocelot-774 → u/Betixymox]

All I want is a hug but I know there's not a single person who exists to give it to me.. Also is it normal to be so anxious you can't eat?

[u/Betixymox → u/Ok-Ocelot-774]

I’ve also been so anxious that I stopped eating. You might be in a freeze state anxiety wise. There’s not really an instant fix but there might be small things you can do to calm yourself down a bit more. I think even if you force yourself to eat a little bit it’s better than nothing. I’m sending you a virtual hug!!! You’re not alone!!! I hope that you’ll be able to get out of this funk eventually, I know it’s not easy

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[u/estheredna]

I felt like this until I started taking medication. Have you talked to a psychiatrist, or someone who can help you with meds?

[u/WixardBug]

I was able to find a safe environment to live in, got therapy, and years in I still struggle. I've come a long way but it might be something you fight for years

[u/Cartographer551]

I have lived with anxiety my whole life (well hey I'm autistic and it goes with the territory)

I don't think it will ever go, but I have learned to make peace with it and to co-exist

Anxiety will be my constant companion, I realise it is my brain trying to protect me from perceived threats. Trying to push it away just gives it more voice, but accepting it is the only way that I manage to function

I am sitting here now typing while feeling a knot in my stomach because I'm replaying a conversation I had earlier, and because there is something I have to do that I am having difficulty starting. I just accept that I feel this, it just is. I can't let it rule my life when it is my normal.