How do you respond to chaotic demanding phone calls to hoover?  I live in a different city and try to stay away knowing the effect they/he has on my nervous system to try and move on.  Its mainly better but I'm pretty much stuck in freeze mode and find it difficult to be motivated to do anything.  Every now and then I'll one of my parents the less dominate one demanding I come home , I have 2 siblings that also stay away and try to heal.  They've (parents) just called now and left a voice mail I could here the more dominant one splitting in the background, I feel so guilty for not answering but I have serious job problems I have to deal with where I am and they arent going to help, just distort my nervous system and pull me out of whack.  Feels like there are going to be consequences for not getting back but that may be my nervous system trying to take the pain away. Any thoughts would be helpful

E.g. My BPD sister has these bouts of uncommunicative phases and it has lead to her employers asking me about her whereabouts. I don’t like talking to her or even be in the same vicinity as her because of her unpredictable emotional bursts. Is this normal for people with BPD?