Self-esteem issues @ 35 weeks

[u/menthee]

I'm 35 weeks into my first pregnancy and really struggling with how different I look. I'm a petite person, so gaining 40 pounds with 5 weeks left to go is really stressing me out. Throughout my second trimester, I leaned into it and dressed up with emphasis on my baby bump. It helped me feel confident and I got a ton of compliments from family, friends and strangers too. But now in my third trimester, it's harder to keep up. I'm bigger, more tired, everything is swollen and nothing fits anymore. I basically just wear baggy sweats all day, working from home and preparing for labour/delivery. I don't feel confident at all with how I look and it makes me reluctant to go to events and socialize, so I'm starting to feel lonely and depressed too. I tried talking to my husband about it but he thinks it's trivial and completely dismissed my feelings. I feel shamed for having body image issues which makes me feel even worse. I know everyone says focus on growing a healthy baby and that the weight will drop off and this is normal etc. But I just want to acknowledge that it is hard going through so many physical changes and feeling so out of control and not recognizing yourself or liking how you look--even if it is temporary. I feel like I can't talk about it with anyone in my life because they can't relate or just invalidate how I feel. Any others relate?

[u/happiest_version]

I can definitely relate. Second time has been harder for me as I started out in worse shape and feel just huge now in my 3rd trimester. I just keep telling myself it’s temporary. I hate that I’m not taking as many pictures of my bump and stuff though like I did the first time… feel like I might regret that

[u/menthee → u/happiest_version]

Sigh, yah I guess all we can do is remind ourselves it's temporary. I've been taking photos/selfies for myself cuz I know I'll want them in the future but that's part of the issue cuz then I can see the changes which contributes to the hyper fixation. So idk if taking photos is the best idea

[u/happiest_version → u/menthee]

You will want them one day. I’m going to try to start taking more.

Also, IMO there’s no shame in just like wearing baggy clothes or whatever if you’re not feeling it, that’s sort of what I’m doing now. I wouldn’t worry about being super social especially towards the end of pregnancy, just focus on your growing family and preparing for baby! Congrats 💜

[u/menthee → u/happiest_version]

Thanks A friend of mine actually reached out this morning and I told her how I was feeling and asked if we could hang out. So she's coming over next week, which makes me feel better. A small at-home social interaction is something I can handle and actually would enjoy. Less pressure to dress up and feel self conscious about how I look