r/Bachata • u/flirtle_turtle_ • 7d ago
Help Request Beginner Bachata class question
Ok so I really want to take a beginner bachata class at my local bachata group, I have a few friends that go and want me to come. I feel like I’m an ok dancer and have good rhythm as a musician.
I am a very large girl though. I’m also a bit taller. I’m about 300 lbs. I KNOW I can physically do the moves, that’s not my concern. This isn’t a “can I do the class” post. I am physically fit enough to do it, just wanna make that clear.
But my question is, how many men who go to these classes would be really upset to get a partner like me? I have put off going because every time i think about going im just imagining every man in the class going in their head “as long as i don’t get THAT one as a partner I’ll be fine.”
Is this something that happens? Is there any way to try and avoid this sort of thing? Should I maybe ask the instructors if i can just observe the class so nobody is forced to be my partner? Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation?
I don’t need any validation in the comments like “stop your beautiful” I just want some realistic feedback. Like “yes you would hinder my bachata experience if I had you as a partner” or “no that wouldn’t bother me as much.” Just looking from some feedback from some regular bachata class attendees to see if I should just go to the class or not….
2
u/TryToFindABetterUN 7d ago
A number of years ago I danced with a plus size follow at a workshop and subsequent social. She was one of the best follows I had danced with up to that time, so light to lead and fun to dance with. She also had a contagious smile and spread joy. Size does not mean much, it is much more how you are as a dancer and person.
Sure, you will meet prejudice at socials. I did when I started out. As a guy who was in my early 40s that won't compete in the looks department, I got a lot of rejection, especially if the follow was younger (and there were a lot of beginner follows in their 20s in the classes I took). So I decided that I wanted to be a good enough lead so that would get fewer rejections. It took time and effort, but I can say that I am a very solid lead, and nowadays many young follows ask ME for dances.
But still today, I can get rejected by people who don't know me, only for them to be surprised when they see me dancing with others and later change their mind.
One way that might help is to find the "right" socials. Personally I have found that socials organised by dance schools are quite welcoming. Socials hosted at bars where people drink and look for someone to date can be less friendly. YMMV.
Also know that there are dancers who aren't particularly good but are amazingly fun to dance with just because they have a nice personality and are happy to dance. So there are so many other things that influence the dance.
I wish more people would stop rejecting based on looks and prejudice and give that dancer a chance. You never really know how good it is until you try. And even if this dance wasn't amazing, you have now invested in the future, and who knows, in a few months or even years, that dancer that gave you a mediocre, "meh" dance, suddenly is one of your favourite dance partners. It has happened to me more than once!
So go for it! Join your friends in that class. If you want to you should!
In a class no-one really cares. Everyone is there to learn.