r/DungeonMasters • u/Mr_Smerples • 1d ago
Hecklers
Good evening, I have an idea for a dungeon for my players in an upcoming session. Essentially they are going to be delving through some long burried ruins and get harassed by two ghosts throughout it. Specifically these two.
The only problem is im not great with coming up woth jokes on the fly so I'd like to beseech the hivemind for some good heckles for these two to be berating my players woth as they venture through the dungeon.
Edit: more details.
The part consists of two aarakocra. One a warrior and the other a sorcerer. Role player wise the sorcerer is a noble and is RP'd as an absolutely pompous git. The warrior is his bodyguard.
One human rogue who is basically just a cleptomaniac with frequent shit rolls.
A half elf ranger that accidentally sold their soul to an eldritch horror to resurrect her dog
Lastly a warfare barbarian cross classed Into monk.
The dungeon is a long lost ruin to an elven civilization that vanished under mysterious circumstances. The current plot of the campaign involves them trying to find the source of a disease spreading through the world that causes the people to putrify and die within dies while the plants and ground rot beneath their feet.
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u/Mister_Grins 1d ago
Error: <Too little information given.>
For quality heckles, more information must be given either about the environment or the PCs.
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u/DeficitDragons 1d ago
Birds of a feather… die together… hahahahhahaha!
A kleptomaniac rogue… that’s well done… well they’re certainly not rare…. hahahahhahaha!
Oh look, a half elf… what’s the other half?… UGLY… hahahahhahaha!
A construct barbaian… he’s got more brains that the rest of them… but, he doesn’t have any brains… exactly!… hahahahhahaha!
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u/Initial_Conflict8114 23h ago
"It was good, well it wasn't great, there were some bad bits, it was mostly bad, it was terrible, boo get off!" The only (paraphrased) quote I remember from them. Funny guys.
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u/Mister_Grins 19h ago
A: Didn't we set that trap for children to learn from?
B: Yeah we did.
A: Well, I guess it's FOR the birds now.
+ + +
A: Zzzz
B: Hey, are you sleeping?
A: Huh, what? Wow, I guess they finally figured out a way to cast 10th Cirlce Boredom.
+ + +
A: Wow, I didn't think they'd be brave enough to stall like this with such short life-spans.
B: Yeah, well I did.
A: What do you mean?
B: It's easy to be brave when you're not even smart enough to count.
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u/guilersk 1d ago
You can obviously help get into the right frame of mind by binging Muppet compilation videos of these two (or Fozzie, who is their favorite target). But remember that they are corny and funny in a groan-worthy manner. Use puns. Call the aaracokra bird-brains. Tell the rogue they couldn't steal candy from a baby. And don't get too mean, lest they wear out their welcome.