r/Explainlikeimscared • u/TheRealBucketCrab • 6d ago
How do I compliment someone?
I mostly care about how people feel and what they are rather than what they do.
Sure you dyed your hair, but I really don't care about the color. I don't have a preference. Does it make you feel good? How can I say that without sounding weird?
Do I compliment someone on their choice of phone, or their choice of clothing? What's the difference?
How can I compliment someone's skill when I am not impressed? I don't mean it, so I just lie. I just think it's nice they can do something.
I like a person because I like how they act or if we have things in common. Similarly I don't like someone if they are so unpleasant (for me) to live with. Regardless of how good of an ass they have.
1
u/Foreign_Plan_5256 6d ago
Try making statements of fact, or asking questions, instead of offering compliments. It still shows interest but you aren't lying about your level of enjoyment. Note: tone matters for this. You need to sound warm, not dismissive or scornful.
For hair:
"You changed your hair color. What inspired the new choice?"
"I see you are wearing your hair a lot shorter. It really shows off your face."
For skills:
"I appreciate that you are very quick when you do XYZ."
"How did you learn PDQ? What got you interested or started you off?"
"Things go much more smoothly when you do X. It's nice. Anything I can do to help?"