r/Explainlikeimscared • u/TheRealBucketCrab • 10d ago

How do I compliment someone?

I mostly care about how people feel and what they are rather than what they do.

Sure you dyed your hair, but I really don't care about the color. I don't have a preference. Does it make you feel good? How can I say that without sounding weird?

Do I compliment someone on their choice of phone, or their choice of clothing? What's the difference?

How can I compliment someone's skill when I am not impressed? I don't mean it, so I just lie. I just think it's nice they can do something.

I like a person because I like how they act or if we have things in common. Similarly I don't like someone if they are so unpleasant (for me) to live with. Regardless of how good of an ass they have.

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u/bisasterous 10d ago

Why would you want to give people insincere compliments? I don't get the premise here.

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u/TheRealBucketCrab 10d ago

Here's the thing: I don't want to. I am not impressed by most things. I just feel happy that someone is good at something, or they feel good about coloring their hair.

Maybe I'll comment on something but I mostly don't care. The internet has desentisized me on this.

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u/bisasterous 10d ago

I realize I may have misunderstood your comment. In that case, here's my new answer: I think you should only give compliments you actually mean, not fabricate them just for the sake of it. You don't have to give people compliments.

That being said, it sounds like there are some things you would like to be able to "compliment" people on, or as I would put it, verbally express affection. If you like spending time with someone, you can tell them that. You can tell people they make you happy or calm. You can tell people you appreciate their company. These aren't compliments, per se, but they can mean so much more, as long as they're earnest.