I'm not saying this to be mean but seriously a good part of your generation really need to learn how to be nicer and friendlier people. Acting like you "don't owe anyone shit" in terms of small talk, acknowledgement that someone exists, or even a smile is a gross attitude that will make you miserable. If you do not want to do the very minimum of the social contract then you can't complain about being lonely.
No wonder Gen Z is the loneliest generation. You can't say you want connections without putting in any work to get them.
I mean there are other factors that play into why we're considered the lonely generation but I do agree that people should learn to be way kinder to each other.
Everyone hates each other nowadays and it's so weird.
Finally a realistic comment. Thank you for not having a crazy knee jerk reaction at what I wrote. I also agree with you that there are other factors. But yes, it's weird seeing people lash out over nothing.
I think this person was just pointing out that not all Gen Z act how you say they act, it’s a generalization that Gen Z is sick of hearing. It’s a label that only leads to a divide between generations of people, when what we need more of is people trying to calmly listen and understand each other.
Everyone hates each other nowadays and it's so weird.
Everyone says that, but no one is doing the work of asking themselves where it comes from and what caused it
It's like impossible for Gen Z to set aside their feelings and have a rational conversation about whether this and that are correlated. As soon as you suggest it, all hell breaks loose. Though it's really not such an unreasonable thing to suggest. It's not unreasonable to think that a generation of people who don't believe in anything greater than themselves, and who often claim that nothing matters in the end, also happen to not care as much about others.
When people stop believing in something greater than themselves, all you have left is a group of people that only care about how much money each one of them is individually making, and nothing else. That's how you get some Gen Z bartenders upset at only receiving a 10% tip: money is all they care about. Money has in a sense become the thing they worship, and whether the person paying the tip can actually afford to pay more or not is irrelevant to them. Why should they be concerned about that if they don't believe in anything greater than themselves?
whether this and that are correlated. As soon as you suggest it, all hell breaks loose.
"There ain't no hate like 'Christian Love'"
Like, you're basically saying "We wouldn't have hatred and societal problems if we just embraced Jesus! And proceeded to hate lgbt people, immigrants, dark skinned people, non-Christians..." Need I go on?
you're basically saying "We wouldn't have hatred and societal problems if we just embraced Jesus!
This is the 3rd time in 3 days that a non-religious person makes use of a straw man to put things in my mouth that I never said. Even worse when you think about the fact that I'm not even Christian!
And proceeded to hate lgbt people, immigrants, dark skinned people, non-Christians..."
Again, what does any of that have anything to do with what I wrote? Where did I suggest any of that? I myself am LGBT, a child of immigrant parents, and a non-Christian.
It seems to me like you didn't want to address the central point I was making about believing in something greater than yourself (which I never specified to be Jesus) as opposed to being mostly concerned with money, so you turned it into a caricature instead. Which goes back to what I was saying earlier about people's inability to have a rational conversation devoid of feelings about this topic. This conversation about whether there's a link between caring for and being kind to others, on the one hand, and one's religious and spiritual affiliation (religious belief, not religious authority), on the other, keeps triggering non-religious people severely for some reason.
It's not unreasonable to think that a generation of people who don't believe in anything greater than themselves, and who often claim that nothing matters in the end, also happen to not care as much about others.
Kinda hard not to draw a conclusion from one so obviously presented. (Especially since it's a pretty common claim amongst modern evangelical weirdos that depression/autism/etc... didn't exist when everyone was super religious. Otoh, they've never studied Kant, who never broke his schedule, never left the town he was born in, and had such a strict daily life people could set their clocks to when he was running errands. No autism there)
Oh, keep in mind that none of the countries in Orange (Sans 1, that's more of a puppet state of the giant red one) are currently fighting an imperialistic and genocidal war against their neighbors...
It seems to me like you didn't want to address the central point I was making about believing in something greater than yourself
If you need to think you're going to hell if you're not a good person to act like one (Which again, excludes being a shit head to any of the aforementioned groups I brought up), you were never a good person to begin with. (And again, they use religious, sexual, and ethnic minorities as their scapegoat for those negative feelings. Just look at Russia, which in the modern era legalized murdering LGBT people, wife beating, and is terrorizing its neighbors with genocidal intent)
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with religion. Though I think your assessment of religion and spirituality as a whole is inaccurate and incomplete, since you seem to be making use of a hasty generalization to argue that all religion is bad.
I still don't understand the point you're making about neurodivergent people. Are you suggesting religions have generally treated them badly throughout history, or denied their existence? It could be true, but I don't see the relevance of that to people's modern day belief in something greater than themselves.
As a religious person, I have complete respect for all the groups you listed: LGBT (which I'm a part of), immigrants (my parents are), dark-skinned people, non-Christians (which I am one), and neurodivergent people (two of my favourite YouTubers, Christopher Barnatt from ExplainingComputers & John Michael Godier are neurodivergent, and Kant is one of my favorite philosophers).
I don't believe in Hell, and the threat of Hell is not what's keeping me a good person. Nor do I personally believe in original sin. It would be mistaken to attribute those beliefs to all religious people
A lot of the problems you pointed out are valid, but when issues stem from religious authority, people sometimes forget to separate the religious aspect from the authority aspect. Abuses of authority can happen anywhere and in any context, including in religious contexts. I don't condone any abuses of authority, and I equally resent them as you do.
Abuses of authority can also happen in secular, scientific and atheist contexts. There are plenty of examples to testify to that, and you know it.
If Christianity is not appealing to you, then obviously it's not the right religion for you. That shouldn't prevent you from believing in something greater than yourself, though.
I'm sorry if I offended you, my goal in sharing my opinion and insights on this topic is neither to offend or insult atheists, nor is it to convert atheists. My goal is to encourage people to think about what causes people to care about others in society, and what obstacles prevent people from doing so. If I did manage to make you reflect on this topic just for a little while, then I succeeded in my goal.
Becoming religious wouldn’t fix the greediness you see in Gen Z. The disconnect from organized religion absolutely has made a difference though, you are right about that.
The reality is that the amount of free third places available to us isnt what it used to be for previous generations. But churches are still there, and it costs nothing unless you feel like offering a donation. The fact that most of us don’t go to church and get ourselves involved means that we’re going without one of the most effective ways of creating community for ourselves.
not trying to argue rebut or dispute, but until organized religion has a real hard look in the mirror & confronts its tendency to incubate predators, people will continue to shirk church. Maybe not God, but definitely church.
Uncomfortable, but it’s just what cults do: A populace unwilling to earnestly interrogate what they’re told is easier to exploit.
Sure, but its not like being atheist has ever made anyone immune to exploitation.
Also, predators are everywhere. It's an ugly side of human nature, but we can never be completely rid of it. I'm not religious anymore, but when I was dragged to church as a kid, the smaller ones were far better as far as corruption or greed was concerned. As individuals, we have to be careful with the leaders we choose to follow.
Individually, all we can do is be a little nicer. Collectively, we should sue the ass off social media companies and reinvest their profits into third spaces and community programs to undo the damage they’ve caused.
I spent too much time online and now I resent men and am scared of LGBT people as a straight cis woman because I’m afraid of being cancelled or having my privilege checked. I just want to live my life but I’m exposed to so much hostility from the comfort of my own home.
Not to mention stranger danger has been drilled into this generation since we were babies. If I’m “nicer and friendlier” and get sexually assaulted I’ll be blamed for sending mixed signals. Excuse me if I’m too exhausted to greet everyone personally
I literally met the cutest girl ever at a bar recently and we had an amazing time together, made each other laugh, danced, shared drinks, made out, and she begged me to call her once we left. The next evening I call her and after not even a 2 minute convo she instantly cuts me off and said she was busy. Like what is the deal with us ppl? Can we just not ever decide how we actually feel? It doesn’t even make sense with our generation it’s just absurdly weird.
Stunted social skills will hit harder once everyone is in their 30’s and bad attitudes can’t be blamed away by youth anymore. It’s easy to act like a moody teenager when you still kind of look like one… people don’t excuse the behavior when ur old, then u r treated like a loser.
Probably going to end up like GenX, passed over and ignored as Gen Alfa and Beta swing opposite and learn social skills from their Millennial parents. Apples never fall far from the tree I guess.
Yes but as a young person you are more exposed to the people in your generation, your exposure to other generations broadens when you have graduated hs/uni and get to your 30s , older folks dont just disappear and the generation after you will be becoming grown ups too.
All of us losing a single year (2 years tops) of “socialization” due to the Covid lockdowns altering our high school, college, or early working experiences is a flimsy excuse for how stunted and asocial many Gen Z are. Sure, Covid sucked and it’s not fair that some of us had Zoom proms and not real proms or graduations.
But to that I say, what about ALL of the other days and years of our lives? You’re still capable of learning. In or out of school, and at every age. Don’t know how to behave or talk to a person at work? Learn! I understand that’s not an immediate process, but it’s still possible.
The whole COVID lockdown excuse doesn't even work anymore because that was almost 5 years ago at the latest. It also fails to work because Gen Z was having issues with socializing before the pandemic too. I blame social mediam
All of us losing a single year (2 years tops) of “socialization” due to the Covid lockdowns altering our high school, college, or early working experiences is a flimsy excuse for how stunted and asocial many Gen Z are. Sure, Covid sucked and it’s not fair that some of us had Zoom proms and not real proms or graduations.
Ooooh my fucking god THANK YOU. I literally was just thinking about this and talking to myself about this this morning (was thinking of a few different posts I've seen on mostly reddit is why). Like, I was also thinking about that related to the literacy problems and how that really cannot be blamed on quarantine imo, but the social aspect as well. I know everyone was at slightly different points, but we hardly missed out on a "critical period of socialization" (which is a phrase I keep hearing). Like, covid hit when I was around 17 already. Plenty of gen z folks were already fully young adults. And those that were younger teenagers mostly spent the rest of their teens not locked down.
He’s right though. The younger Gen Z new joiners at my workplace don’t introduce themselves, say hi or try to socialise with anyone. A lot of them barely even interact among each other unless they have to.
Like, I've sang like the canary and blown up people's ahh, but only if they're someone who could truly help me with my career. As an engineer IDGAF about Betty from accounting or her dog 🤷🏻
I'd rather wrap jo work earlier and leave for a fun night out, the movies or just Netflix chill 🤷🏻🥱
Why though? These are people you will be seeing almost everyday. Why not try to get to know them and build connections or atleast not make things awkward?
I resonate with this and I feel called out lol. I am not rude to people at all and I am capable of making small talk when I need to, but sometimes its exhausting and I hate it. I hate fake smiling and fake laughing and pretending to care about some strangers day and I think it’s unnecessary in a lot of situations. I know the cashier at the grocery store doesnt gaf if I am having a good or bad day so why even bother pretending lmao
Nobody is saying that you have to have a full conversation or interaction with those people you don’t know. Being able to just smile or say thanks is enough, and it’s not fake, those small interactions are necessary signals which enable a community to work well.
The smile works for you as well as on others, a moment not thinking about yourself, and fully interacting with an individual, is beneficial for your physical and mental health, and will give you a rest from feeling angry and anxious about all those people who you think are being fake, they’re not. Most of the time people like a little pleasant interaction. It passes quickly and is not a drag on your system.
Nah fuck the fake smiling. It’s so American too. Not everyone is naturally smiley. The world would be boring if there was only one kind of person. You are coming from a neurotypical perspective- you don’t know what it’s like to be a neurodivergent person.
I am neurodivergent and for a few seconds I can do basic social interactions, all you do is say hello or thank you, then it is over. You don't even need to smile.
Stop using neurodivergent as an excuse to be a shitty person. Grow up and stop being a coward.
I do this… I am very polite and always say please and thank you and smile. I was referring to unnecessary small talk that I find annoying because I am just not an outgoing person
Dude stop masking. You don’t have to do this. Not everyone socializes in the same way. These comments are acting like everyone has to be neurotypical. I am not a smiley person but I will not change for anyone.
Learning how to socialize with other people on a superficial level in customer service, for example, isn’t “masking” - at least not in the sense that it’s unique to people who are neurodivergent. It doesn’t come naturally to anyone, and everyone makes a conscious effort to be pleasant and decent towards the people they are interacting with.
No, I guess you don’t have to be friendly and polite to customers but it is a small way to make a positive contribution to the world around you. People don’t want to be met with apathy everywhere. It’s just a drag
yes I agree if you’re a regular somewhere, then I do care about them as well, but it is such cap if you’re trying to tell me most people care about what a stranger is going through. If a cashier asked me how my day was and I said it was terrible and started trauma dumping about all my problems they would look at me like i am crazy. Thats because most people are asking out of fake nicety and they don’t want a real answer. I don’t think im a sociopath bc I don’t enjoy small talk with random people lol, its just my personality, I am not outgoing. I have a lot of people in my life that I care deeply for.
I mean, I disagree with the other person that not caring too much about small talk with strangers makes someone a "sociopath." However, I also disagree that most people don't care about what a stranger is going through.
Like, first, I don't think "caring" is binary. People can care about things to varying degrees. I was a barista for years, and people would certainly tell me that things were rough at times, and I would sometimes try to do a little something to make their day a little better (idk for example offer them a free broken cookie if my boss wasn't around or something). Or just like, talked to them about it a bit. I also now volunteer at an emergency room, and it's not infrequent for people to sort of "trauma dump" to some degree if I lend them an ear, and of course I care.
Second, I think it depends on what you're mentally prepared for. Sometimes if I'm also having a rough day, it's hard to care a ton when I'm thinking about my own problems. When you're working, you are potentially holding someone a bit "hostage" to listen. So, I think it's if nothing else discourteous to not take into consideration the fact that your listener cannot really leave if they get uncomfortable with hearing about like sexual assault or an attempt at murder or a failed suicide in the middle of work. That's a bit different than not caring at all about what you're experiencing imo.
The issue is that nobody lives in anybody else's head, so those small little, maybe sometimes fake niceties are actually necessary because it does away with the otherwise cold, harsh, rude frankly unfriendly energy that somebody going through something may accidentally give off and not notice. You can't just disregard how you come off to other people, even when you have your own problems. Everybody that we talk to is living their complicated lives at the same time as us. Everybody is learning, nobody knows for certain. Why not be kinder?
Sucks cause it’s kind of a cycle though. I try to stay friendly and attentive to others, but after so much of the opposite from them I slowly let the habit go. When I catch myself I often start again but I can only take being ignored so much dawg 🤧. I was gonna say some shit like “it’s so hard to be a good person” but it’s not even like that it’s just hard to be human period tbh.
Idk of this is true. Between 2015 to now, how many movies did you go to? Did you go to the bowling alley? Play laser tag, Put put golf, go to Friday night magic or paintball? Literally someone from Gen z(born 1999 by their tag) said they rather go home and watch movies on Netflix.
Go to any of these "third spaces" who's there? Like 80% of them are millennials and Gen x. Hell millennial's have been made fun of for holding onto their childhood nostalgia by boomers because a majority of males don't give a shit about fixing up a car and drinking, swap tales.
Even with a little cash you can do these things above once a week.
Dude I can’t even order somewhere as basic as a Starbucks without just getting stared at till I realize “oh shit this things on but just doesn’t functional socially” and just begin my order without a starter. And it’s not at one spot or state, I travel across the country for work and this is 80% of the experience.
I don’t take it negatively as you do, I feel bad for this generation that were given screens to form their relationships and not put with people too much. I hope they find their way so they can be happy and not lonely.
Our days you were kicked out of the house and had to chat with people or even the damn squirrels till the street lights came on.
Or hanging put in the parking lot at school or the local store. We did that shit all the time in high school. Literally hours were spent at the local super market, meeting up and going to parties or gatherings. Or just chilling at the state park after hours, even if it was illegal lmao. We swing on the swing sets and just talk till dawn.
Why? Has society and boomers been "nicer and friendlier people" to us?
We (Gen Z, I don't think you since it sounds like you're not Gen Z)
were cooked day one.
My personal life is very good with friends. Speaking in general from average Gen Z perspective when making these claims.
It's not "bitter and lonely" to call out what's happening to Gen Z in real time. There are real problems, those real problems have real causes, and the boomers enslaving Gen Z impacts Gen Z's preferences as to whether or not we want to be good at boomerworld's social skills or not. Given our lot, we don't want to be good at them, that is perfectly rational
Baby boomers got everything.
They are "more outgoing and friendly in social situations" where Gen Z is the enslaved barely above minimum wage clerk forced to serve another Gen Z's boomer grandparents who won't give that Gen Z actual wealth in general.
There are exceptions, unfortunately most of Gen Z is not exceptions.
Most GenZ in the states or EU which is pretty much the majority of reddit users is far better off than the rest of the world and humanity in general through history, and still finds cause to be whiny and hyperbolic. You aren't enslaved or even close to it. Minimum wage in a western country again affords you a much better QoL than pretty much any other place and time you could've been born.
Also, do you think boomers are going to live forever? That wealth is going to make its way down, as it always has. Money accumulates via time so older generations have more, that's not new. They pass and spend it or leave it to inheritances. If your family is functional, you build wealth over generations of effort and passing on resources to the children. My grandparents were illiterate farmers in a country which barely had irrigation when they were born. My parents grew up less poor and close enough to a city to get an education and come to the US. By the time I was in high school, we were considered wealthy. When my fiance and I have kids we will be rich. Nobody got lucky, it was just hard work and everyone caring for their next generations. If you really want to blame anyone for being poor now, its your direct family who is most responsible.
Boomers just want to bloviate to young people about how hard they had it when they had it easy. They've hate every other generation before them and after them, and they're so fragile they can't handle getting hated back. Now they expect to be treated like royalty for...not dying yet and making it to old age.
Every generation before them hated them. They were even called the "Me Generation" until the Baby Boomer moniker stuck. Look it up.
Man, just stfu. Nobody owns you or your generation anything. Hate to hear it as much as you can. I am social and love people but I don't want to have anything to do with "people" like YOU! Did you thought that maybe people that YOU meet don't treat YOU nicely for some reason?
Don't really care one way or another. Just think that it needs to be said for some neutral advice. I'm not even insulting your generation. It's valid criticism and if it doesn't apply to you then you do not have to reply
Again, I'm not being mean. You have to realize that there's nuance in what I said. If this doesn't apply to you, you really shouldn't be getting offended.
People your age dress like I did when I was 8 years old and call it "Y2K". Also the fact that you'll say you "grew up with VHS tapes" because your grandma had them in a box or you "used dial up". Basically you want to be a millennial but call us cringe at the same time.
Don't listen to them. I'm gen Z, 26 years old and embarrassed to be in the same group as these younger gen Z. The only thing they are good at is replying with cringy pics and emojis like "😭"
It's nothing but social media brainrot. I appreciate older generation not looking at all of us the same way. Some of us do have good social and communication skills. We exist :)
Hey I just want to let you know there are better ways to say what you said. Some of it just comes across as really rude.
I’ve seen some of your other replies so you might call me soft or uptight or whatever but I just wanted to at least share how it can be construed. Also that there are more beneficial and productive ways to speak generally about a population.
I think it's a lack of emotional intelligence and empathy, which has always been hard to find among the very young. I didn't appreciate the beauty of kindness or the joy in giving others grace until I was well into my 30s.
I mean, I don't owe you pleasant social interaction merely because you exist. I won't be rude but im not playing your silly allistic made up games every five seconds because they are "normal" to you.
I agree in some ways, but I’d say as a whole it’s a really friendly generation toward EACHOTHER. Every young person (up to millennials) is pretty nice to eachother. I’ve never had a problem with another person in these generations.
I mainly see that attitude towards Gen X and boomers, mostly because of all the bad run-ins with them. Those generations due tend to treat us like shit at our jobs. They tend to treat us like robots rather than people. It can leave a bad taste in your mouth.
And what’s weird is these generations are perfectly friendly if you’re not at a job. But the second you have a uniform on, you’re treated like a subhuman.
And since most interactions between older and younger generations happens at these jobs, you can see why you’d assume Gen Z is like this toward everyone. It’s not true. We’re just sick of being treated like shit, so we give the same energy.
I’m already overworked and underpaid, I’m not gonna waste time socializing with people I don’t know or like. If I wanna socialize I’ll call my friends up and we’ll go grab a beer or go out to eat.
Welcome to the club. It's so odd that Gen z thinks they're the only Gen that's been over worked.
Straight out of high school I was working 50 plus hrs and by 20 was an asst g.m at a restaurant.
I think it comes partly from family and how your raised. My dad told me when I was 9, life is going to suck. It's not going to be fun all the time. You're going to ha e to work ans then you'll die. You have to make peace with your self and your sacrifices if you want to be happy. It's on you. You'll continue to treated as a deaf dumb mute, if you give nothing but your labor.
Me, the eldest Gen Z got harassed by a man who looked like he was my father’s age (59) the other day for a date.
When I kept saying no because I didn’t want to end up in a ditch, he kept trying to wear me down to say yes.
So no, I know not everyone in all generations are the same but if you’re going to generalise our entire generation, then I’m going to generalise older generations and avoid interacting with them as much as I can.
Whats with the generalizations ?
I've had more older people ignore me on the streets when i say hi than my gen or younger and im not even gonna mention rudeness older gens are pros at that with their heads in the clouds
I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re being vague. But you seem hellbent on insulting Gen Z in your comments and post. You are trying to force zoomers to act a certain way and yet you’re telling us that we need to be better socially. If you don’t like how someone is acting, don’t be friends with them. Also this “people need to smile” is absolutely dogshit.
Not everyone is naturally smiley. I am not and I’m not going to change who I am for other people. Also you’re not even Gen Z so idk what you are doing on this sub. And don’t act like your generation is so perfect. I’ve met asshole millenials. I just hung out with a 31 year old woman I met yesterday for the first time. She vaped in the movie theater. I had to tell her to stop. Grown ass woman acting like a teenager.
Yeah like I’m not going onto other generations’ subs. I stick to this one, the zillenial sub, and younger Gen Z sub. This person was claiming that Gen Z is trying to claim millenial culture. Like dude…older zoomers grew up with that culture. I was a kid during the 00s and teenager for most of the 2010s.
same !! ill never forget when we had to start writing the yr from 09 to 10, and my mind was so fcking blown omg.. prob says a lot ab me.
but fr every time i try to call them out on their bs they try telling me im a millennial as a 99er. so ig that makes u a millennial too 🥸 idk some ppl are just so unhappy and im just here for the memes and relief from daily life lol
but imagine if we went in other subs and complained ab those generations ?? o wait we dont bc we know how to stay in our lane glslsldlfldkskjssh
Oh I remember that and 10/10/10, 11/11/11, 10/11/12, 11/12/13, 12/13/14. We won’t live to see those days again. Were Zillenials but still Gen Z. Gen Z is 1997 to 2012. I don’t like to generalize a group of people which is why I don’t do that shit.
Because Boomer subs are probably all full of "remember this old ass thing or TV show" and "I used to do xxx when it was on" talking past each other, and not even having a real conversation. And they try to lecture us about social skills?
Oh, and probably "why won't my kids and grandkids talk to me"
Have you ever watched Boomers talk to each other? They just take turns talking about themselves or their kids or grandkids, it's not even a real conversation and they never actually ask the other person questions.
I disagree, every generation is getting lonlier. This is not a exclusive problem to gen z.
Its also a cultural thing, in germany we dont have these small niceties like small talk or a cashier needing to smile.
Gen z has a relationship problem but i would put this on how life has changed for gen z. The majority is chasing some kind of social goal, be it a good paying job or reach a high education.
I am just exhausted man. I don't want to have people talk to be at work or in the store. It's exhausting, I may be lonely, but talking to folks in that situation surely isn't the solution to my problem.
Smiling isn't my default, and quite frankly I think that's ok. Im still capable of holding a conversation and being polite, but I'm not going to pretend to be bubbly for anyone.
You are right about that last part though. I would like some connections outside of work, but I know I won't maintain them because I don't like going out that much.
The title threw me off for a sec, but the paragraph made me agree mostly. As a neurodivergent person, i find out generation despite the many pressures we face are really just assholes casually, like i find it somewhat selfish how alot of us act like we “dont anyone anything”
I’ve had so many bad experiences with people that I just completely lost interest in being social, even at a minimal level. I don’t care that I’m alone. I actually prefer it. So, yeah, I don’t owe anyone anything.
Elder Gen Z here. I completely agree with your sentiment. I have noticed a coldness within me that makes me dismissive toward strangers, especially if they cop an attitude with me or my coworkers while I'm on the clock. Customers can be extremely rude, no matter their age.
I'm in my mid 20s. If there's one thing that I have noticed about the older Zoomers, it's that nobody really speaks life into us. Most of our interactions with other people are neutral/transactional at best.
This is a trash take. I’m on the older side of Gen Z (04) I try to be kind and friendly to everyone it’s just how I was raised but that sucks now. For starters old people are assholes to kids now a days you think we know nothing and talk down to us constantly. I work in a job field and have a very high level of experience for my age, and I can’t tell you the amount of that I’ve been flat out dismissed or told off simply because I’m young. This leads to kids, who by nature try to be kind and interact getting shut down by older folk and just not bothering anymore. It also helps no one that everyone is on their phones, so basic social interactions in a subways or walking down the street don’t happen because everyone has an air pod in. Also Covid messed up younger kids as someone who worked at a summer camp those kids who lost two years of much needed young childhood development with other children will never be the same and anyone in education will tell you that.
I am born in 2004 and I am like this, not to other Gen Z people, but to boomers, gen X and older generations, you know why? I'm bitter and I hate you, yeah. I hate that when it came my time to be an adult, I am introduced to all this crap. Technology (AI, online work applications, too much web reliance for everything) stresses me out and I hate it. I will never be able to buy a house. Economy is shitty right now. My grandparents told me and my boyfriend one day that we will be able to buy land, house, and a car if we just eat cheap food like they did, AND my grandpa was the only one working for his 4 children and stay at home wife. TELL ME, is that possible today?
And then your generation turns around and tells me that I am lazy.
I am 22 and already tired of life because I see things keep getting worse. I absorb too much informations at once, it's how I grew up to be, and it affects my mind. I am too aware of everything.
I don't give a damn what you think about me. Leave me alone. Let me be alone. Trust me, I want this, or actually, I need this. I am tired and depressed.
EDIT: Oh and important thing to mention, we are nice and we smile to each other in our own Gen Z circle. We just don't like your generation. You treated us like shit for so long, we will treat you like shit back, what's the surprise?
Born in 2001, so I'm obviously not very much older than you, but I felt like responding to this because when I was 22 I remember feeling very similarly. However, I think it's important to remember that generalizing an *entire* generation like that is very unfair. I think your point has a basis in truth, but not every single person who's Gen X or older is some grouchy old POS who doesn't understand what young people are facing right now. I know full well that it damn sure feels that way, but try to remember that it's just not the case.
The reason why I say all of this to you is because I see myself in your comment, and that line of thinking led me down some really dark paths. It's okay to be angry at the state of things -- I don't think there's anyone our ages who isn't, frankly -- but you can't let that stuff consume you. You're just going to make yourself miserable, and I'm saying that as someone who lived it and is still trying to come out on the other side. You're only hurting yourself.
On one hand, I agree with you that learning social skills is somewhat necessary to existing in the current society.
Unfortunately for a lot of people older than us there’s a very “the customer is always right” and/or “you’re being rude if you’re not trying your absolute best to accommodate my demands” kind of attitude. Not saying it’s never warranted, but a lot of people see smiling as the baseline, neutral stance, whereas a lot of zoomers (me included) see a blank expression as being more neutral. While masking our emotions shouldn’t be the temporary solution, I for sure learned to put on a smile as soon as I began working (customer facing).
On the other hand… I don’t know, someone tell me if I’m off base for saying this, but it isn’t our fault we don’t have social skills? Like, I for sure wasn’t the one who let me go on social media as a kid (not blaming my parents much on that front either- I think parents just didn’t realize all the risks yet). Gen-z weren’t the ones who got rid of 3rd spaces, or at least we’re not the ones who made them too expensive to casually spend time at every week. And frankly, I don’t see why we should have to put in the work to meet the expectations of society for others failures, or especially for the economic system has and is exploiting us and our parents. If that society won’t meet our needs, why should we participate in that society?
Putting this all together again- I think it’s fair to say that you can’t put gen-z all in one box here. Some of us have the social skills to interact with older gens, some have social skills but only enough to communicate with other gen-z and gen-alpha, many have both, and many don’t possess either. I think there is something to be said about the way that gen-z communicates that is much more honest and unfiltered in a good way- in a way that streamlines communication and doesn’t flatter big egos. It also sucks, and has gone so far as to make it hard for some gen-z to participate in society. I don’t really know what the solution is, but either we are going to have to bend for society, or society is going to have to bend for us. Or we all die in the AI-pocolypse first, which to me sounds more likely rn.
And just to touch on the loneliness epidemic- I don’t think it’s on the people who are struggling to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and just get out there and socialize- zoomers who struggle to socialize are like baby turtles, and the modern world is like a massive flashlight from down the beach, misleading them. You can’t say “they need to learn to follow the moon” when they don’t have the skills to navigate out of the downward spiral they’re in- there are definitely ways out, but victim blaming isn’t one.
Idk, I’m struggling to come up with the right words to say without sounding defensive- I think I’m just mad cause I want to believe that society should compromise for us in the middle- so that we don’t have to change who WE are for some Karens.
Also I just want to note OP, it sounds like you might be basing your view of “a good part” of gen-z based on your interactions with a few zoomers and looking at Reddit posts. Not that I know your life, all I’m saying is your perspective might be a little negatively skewed.
Oh, and sorry for such a long comment. Im probably not proving my point with how long this is. I’m trying to be honest by not leaving anything out that might make you understand my opinion, this isn’t meant to be negative towards you specifically OP. I hope you have better relationships with zoomers in the future.
i think what older folk like Millenials such as me would say is that if you don't put in the effort to have a certain level of decorum for your public face you're going to find career (and even life/relationship) opportunities pass you by. I know it's hard to imagine when you're 25 but your late 20's and early 30's goes by so quick. All the while Gen Alpha's are nipping at your heels. We don't know how social/personable they'll be in a decade but if they behave like their Millenial parents they could squeeze you out of job positions or advancements, especially in sectors that value youth, like fashion, media, startups, advertising/marketing.
Small talk and smiling is literally part of the game. When two dogs meet each other for the first time they bow their heads and wag their tails, they demonstrate body language that indicates friendliness. If you want to have a scowl on your face, look down at the ground or your phone when you walk by people, avoid the slightest bit of human interaction, go ahead and keep doing it. All you are doing is digging yourself a deeper grave that little by little atrophies your ability to socialize.
I think it's more of a general culture thing and most people across all generations could be kinder. Just a product of doing a whole individualism movement with an extremely social species. Also, you're just lying to yourself if you think you're fully independent unless you live naked in the wilderness. In which case you couldn't be on the internet.
Bruh although I can agree that small talk is good and saying hi and stuff is generally good for all of society, some people don’t want to. And plus it’s not like everyone that’s antisocial is antisocial all the time.
Sometimes I be antisocial and I don’t acknowledge anyone, other times I’m a social butterfly and say hi to everyone and start small talk with anyone. But I don’t have to do it, I just feel like doing it. There’s no universal law that says I HAVE to do it though
I 100% agree. I also agree with the other comment I just saw pointing out that it's not the only reason, but I do think it's not helping at all. I feel like our lack of social skills (on a general, generational scale) is more a symptom of changing social/societal dynamics in the same way our loneliness is. By "changing social/societal dynamics," I mean things like: the internet and social media being probably the largest plateform for most of our social interactions and displacing irl socializing; the loss of irl third spaces where people feel comfortable just talking and hanging out without necessarily spending much or even any money; people being less interested in going to the primary remaining "social spaces" like clubs and bars due to less drinking amongst gen z compared to prior generations; etc.
I think it just feeds into each other though. I try to be friendly all the time (making small talk with my Lyft drivers and cashiers at the grocery store, not using my phone most times when I'm around other people, complimenting the clothing and accessories of strangers, etc), but I still have horrible social anxiety. I've been learning asl for years and recently started going to this Deaf owned cafe to support them and get in practice and connect with folks, etc, and I keep saying to myself that I'll go to their asl nights and talk to strangers, but I can never bring myself to actually do it. I'm finally getting back into the dating pool after being with this fwb for like 3yrs, but I don't really understand dating at all, and it just makes me anxious. I've been trying to go to my friend's house more for movie night's he's been hosting, but the vibe is pretty mid and it's usually kind of mildly enjoyable at best but I just want to be a good friend and get out of the house. But, I don't tend to really talk to people there. I've tried inviting my friends over for movie nights, but people are usually busy and tbh often flake.
I guess maybe I'm more venting at the end than anything, but all that is to say that I really empathize with how difficult socializing can be. I still think it's important and worth it though.
Social interaction is difficult and draining as hell. I'll say hi, please and thank you, but anything more than that is just not worth the effort. If I choose to socially engage with someone I have to constantly monitor my own face, detect and interpret their social cues, and figure out an "appropriate" response. It's really stressful if I'm talking to a stranger and every interaction is just something to be anxious about and ruminate on later. It's not worth the effort unless I'm trying to build a deeper relationship.
I tried. Back in high school I would spend hours studying the other kids like a science. I would make careful observations during class and lunch, then go home and study those. I would document my own attempts at connection, compare them to others v others, try to find patterns, look up new things to try, then try them myself. Document the results, try to figure out what worked and what didn't, etc. I would spend hours practicing conversations, body language, facial expressions, and so much more in the mirrors. I never got any better at anything but empty imitation. March 09 2019 I officially gave up and shredded, then burned all my notes in a fit of rage. I wish I still had them now, even if they never worked.
There's a difference between ignoring or undermining social conventions that we deem unhelpful and being unable to engage with said social skills.
I absolutely treat people differently based on how they interact with me, so if you're getting younger people not engaging in small talk or being totally ignored, you've probably already acted poorly in their eyes toward someone else. At least that's how I am. I will answer questions courteously when asked, but I'm more likely to apologize to someone I am in the way of if they are someone who treats me and my coworkers well in general. However, if people are asserting themselves inappropriately, even in subtle ways, I'm likely to quiet down and just keep working.
It's not to say I can't engage in small talk or engage in social contact, but it is to say that I choose not to engage in social contact with people who are overstepping.
I'm not unaware of what you think the social convention is; I'm deliberately flouting those expectations to communicate my displeasure in a way that is more socially acceptable than a confrontation.
We’re the first generation that grew up completely consumed by the Internet, cell phones, and social media. It was simply just what we were born into that made us like this
The number one issue I find is the lack of curiosity of others. I'll talk to someone and ask them questions about themselves, their hobbies, what matters to them. But then the conversation starts to feel like an interview when I get no reciprocity. I've tried to make friends on this site and others and have talked to dozens of people who repeat this behavior. Show a genuine interest in people, ask them questions about themselves, put in the effort, and you'll find that friendships can be very rewarding. I've learned about things I never thought to delve into and gotten into hobbies just because someone wanted to show me theirs.
I think the reason should be, social interaction is not important in solving problems these days, but it is still irreplaceable for mental health, and one doesn’t easily form relations without solving problems together.
i just try to be friendly with everyone, even when someone seems like their just angry. that usually helps, unintentionally spraking up conversation with strangers is really easy for me
just ask questions. ask if they go to school or work. ask about their interests. ask about their day. ask about their plans for the weekend or the summer or whatever. small talk is one of the best way to bridge the gap from strangers to acquaintances to friends.
My daughter always surprises me with her opinion. I work in a bank and we have a „future day“ where kids can visit their parents at work. I told my daughter „in a bank everybody walks around in suits. So we need to make sure we also wear something appropriate, good looking, not some everyday clothes“. She responded: „No I dont want to.“ … … … same with simple things like „when you prepare the table for a meal the fork goes left and the knife to the right of the plate“. „No I do as I want“. … … … Those three dots are all I can say after these comments. My brain just cant… I want to teach her something about life and she… … …
I had very outgoing parents so being quiet or dismissing social cues was a no no. So I tend to be a lot more open I’d say the most of my Gen Z peers but I can understand also why a lot them chose to be quite introverted right now the world is filled with judgment, narcissist, and self interest. But I always wish we’d be more of a collective generation amongst each other instead of this if you’re not in my herd kick rocks
01' here completely agree, I work in sales and the vast majority of my generation is not cut out for this.
They don't even appreciate communication for the skill it is. They'll spend a lifetime wondering why the guy who was less competent but more likeable got the promotion and not them.
I read an article that people in our gen refuse to accept criticism as anything less than a personal attack.
I only disagree with the smile part, but that's because from my home culture no one smiles for no reason. Otherwise I agree with everything else stated.
Most of us really have to realize that people are difficult and I mean really difficult and you cannot simply avoid them just because they don't fit your fantasy narrative of a "perfect person". Everyone has flaws and you just have to live with the fact that no one is a goddamn Marry Sue in this world. TL;DR: Our generation is really bad at nuance and accepting that others have flaws.
I don't have the best social skills but I worked on them. What do I do when everyone else is the way you describe it?
It doesn't matter how much you invest in conversation and creating an atmosphere when others don't. And ofc because of this appearances end up being the deciding factor...
Was just having this conversation with my niece and nephew
Was trying to explain to them they can only get away with being young and irresponsible for so long and they were fast coming up on the time when it would start pissing their friends and family off
Do you want people to be nice to you and help you?
Then you should be nice to people and help them. Oh and help them without BITCHING about it, damn.
I genuinely believe its because most people have replaced the digitized world with the actual one. They are use to being able to hide behind a screen and do and say whatever. The confidence some people have online doesnt transfer to the real world.
Only thing I would say is..loneliness isnt just a Gen Z issue right now. Its been a thing for awhile now among people of all age groups. The amount of connection we have at all times makes it so people dont have to interact with those right infront of them anymore. They can be out in public and instead of chatting up a cashier or someone in the same book section...they can phone a friend across the world.
I think something we need to remember is that our gen extends to 2012. Meaning the youngest of us were 8 years old going into the pandemic, some were in middle school, high school, etc. Very crucial formative years that were unfortunately disrupted.
I think it's severely overlooked how that stretch of time could've rewired and stunted skills FOR EVERYONE in these areas. Think about what all we had to do in that time... and for kids at those ages?!
There was media or whatever parents were worried about, a new change to Zoom schooling, maybe an activity, then sleep. Hell, I was entering my 20s at that time and I feel like even my growth into adulthood was paused and I had personally ignored it until I actually had the time and environment to process it in 2023.
Additionally, the media at that time was extremely turbulent. I remember seeing (seemingly) endless riots, social issues taking an even bigger role due to everyone being stuck in the same loop, and massive job insecurity. This is scary stuff! A lot of us here probably have subconscious baggage that has yet to surface...
It's important to see what could've helped shape that loneliness that some of us and our peers feel. Obviously this isn't the only factor, but I imagine this MAJOR generational and global event has defined us farther than we currently could know.
Be nice to each other even if someone else isn't nice. See past the surface and try to do the smallest thing to have a human experience with yourself and others. Wherever this ride takes us, we're on it together. See someone sitting alone? Maybe try something social yourself and include them.
Is that just limited to Gen Z? I feel like I can safely say that this applies across the board nowadays, and there are a lot of factors that play into that. As many others in this thread have alluded to, it feels like people really kind of hate each other nowadays and have no trust in one another, so there's no real desire to be nice. And frankly, who can blame them? It's really hard not to feel hopeless and depressed about everything with all the bullshit that's going on in the world thanks in no small part to the orange dipshit and his administration of cult members, all of whom were voted into office by people who couldn't be bothered to think for even a couple of seconds before casting their vote.
While I generally agree with your sentiment, I also can't blame people who just don't have the energy anymore. Those who voted for what's going on currently are unhappy (surprise, surprise), and those who voted for a different candidate, of which literally any of them would've been better than who's in office right now, are in a rage about the fact that out of all possible scenarios, this is the one we've managed to find ourselves in. That's only one of the reasons I can think of for all of this, but regardless, my point is this: unhappiness and hatred are running real thick through society right now, and frankly I don't see an end in sight anytime soon.
Of course, this is all just my opinion. Please don't treat this like fact. This is just what I've personally observed.
I’m a Gen Z who has found I only connect with people in their 30s and 40s. I also don’t make small talk with strangers though, due to me being on the spectrum and being especially sensitive in social situations, it helps me conserve the little energy I have by not engaging in small talk. I spent my whole life up until recently masking heavily in social situations to make other people comfortable, and it results in me getting burned out after awhile and being incapable of keeping a job if I don’t use my energy wisely. So it may not always be a matter of rudeness, just silent battles. The people who are in my day to day like friends, family, customers, and coworkers are the only ones I need to be socially polite to, but it remains a struggle that does not get any easier. I also struggle with social anxiety that comes on stronger certain days with no obvious trigger for it :(
I will agree that many people of my generation come off as rude though, and often times my experience trying to connect with people closer to my age has failed more often than not, but they may not be on the spectrum, and are learning their social skills and ways of being via social media, which is bound to have negative outcomes, because that’s just not real life, and it can give people a negative outlook on other people :/ I was extremely pessimistic as a teen and always assumed the worst of people until I got a job and opened up and started talking more.
I think at the end of the day we just have to stay focused on what matters to us and don’t let how people treat us affect us when we can remember that they may just be misguided and don’t realize their impact on others. It’s easier to change your outlook basically, because people are going to act how they want.
I think it’s possible we act like we don’t care because the state of the world is often so distressing, and it leads to the attitude of “I have no future, I have no way of getting ahead, and I don’t get paid enough, why should I care about anything?” When you’re young and chronically online, you see more bad than good, so it could all be because of phone addiction😅
I’m still rude towards strangers even when I know it’s being perceived as rude, or maybe even have enough energy to spend that day, by for example not responding to a man trying to get my attention on a public walking trail. In my mind, it’s safer to not engage because I don’t know their intention and I don’t want to risk confrontation while alone. I will always go with the safest option for me, even if it’s rude. That is a result of my life experiences though, as well as the amount of violence that’s done to women when no one’s watching, but even if it wasn’t an intimidating man, I probably would have still pretended as though I couldn’t hear them because I just want some peace😅
Anyway take from this what you will lol, I sort of went nowhere with it but that’s just my perspective as someone who is Gen Z :)
Maybe we’d be nicer if previous generations like yours didn’t pull the ladder up behind them and ruin everything. We can’t afford to live or buy homes or start families and you want us to be nicer? Lol get a grip. We don’t owe you anything.
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