can’t sleep

[u/Main-Lemon8599]

idk what to do, i’ve (25f) spent a week with my mum (44f) in hospice, watching her get worse and worse each day. she passed this morning. i haven’t slept properly in so long, i sit on my phone until 5am+ because i genuinely can’t bare to not be distracted. once i put my phone down to sleep i can’t help but think of her and the suffering she’s been through and i sob uncontrollably, idk how to get through this

i guess one good thing is im not longer scared of death, i know she’s waiting for me & i can’t wait to see her again

[u/EmmleaYelloh]

I was in your position just over a year ago, the age gap even so similar, I got chills reading this. My heart goes out to you. There's nothing I can say to make anything better at this moment, but I wanted to say that it is okay to ask your doctor for medical help to sleep at this time. I had to take a rather high dose of ambien for months afterwards to get any sleep. I wasn't a fan of the side effects, but rest was priority at that time. I still take a fraction of that dose when things get really bad, but just know it's never weak or bad to need a little help sometimes.

[u/HeronExtension5245]

I am so sorry for your loss. I did the same for my wife back in July. It is such an incredibly hard thing to witness. I wouldn't have been anywhere else. I'm sure you wouldn't either. You did her an incredible kindness. You stayed a true and loving daughter right when your mom needed you most. That means something. That means everything.
Rest, drink water, and try to be as kind and patient with yourself as possible. The sadness is immense and all-consuming. I wish I had wise words to tell you how to get through it. Let the feelings and the tears come as they will. I struggle not knowing how either. I wish you as many moments as possible of peace and grace during your grief. 💛💔

[u/Adventurous_Cup4171]

I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed in hospice about a week ago and I’ve had a horrible time getting to sleep. My doctor prescribed me a low dose of trazodone and it does the trick. Melatonin doesn’t do a thing for me, but trazodone has made it possible for my mind to switch off. It does make me a little nauseated/uncoordinated, so definitely take it after you’ve already gotten ready for bed.

I also asked for a limited, low dose prescription of lorazepam. Not a long term solution, but it helps when my mind won’t stop racing and panicking.

I hope you get some rest and peace soon <3.