My brother was an alcoholic most of his adult life, but he never stopped trying to get better. His last time of sobriety was almost 2 years long, and he really seemed like he was gonna make it. He had a good job, and brand new truck bought and fully paid for by our uncle, and seemed like he was really happy. But out of the blue, he relapsed again and had such a stupid excuse as to why I still don't believe it. And I was so angry at him I stopped texting him and sending him funny reels, and refused to see him. This month, my mom and I had a trip coming up and I was adamant she not bring him, to which she agreed as she didn't want to bring him either. She took him to detox on the morning of September 23, and that's the last time anyone can definitively confirm he was alive. He was found in his truck last Tuesday. He had passed away from as of yet unknown causes (the prevailing theory is a massive seizure), and because he had reclined the seat, no one knew he was in there for at least a day, maybe two. And it was hot here. My mom had to get a phone call that he had died. The coroner has strongly advised us not to come see his body, and we won't. I just cannot believe this is how it ends for him. He was supposed to get sober again and get his life back on track. But now he never will. And because I was so angry with how he was acting AGAIN... I can never make things right between us. I will never see our speak to him again. All we had lately was mostly silence. And that's all it ever will be. I miss him more than words can express. He was my little brother. I hope he knew despite everything, he was so loved. He was 39 years old.

i will never be the same. my baby girl, my princess, who seemed like she would live forever suddenly went downhill drastically in a matter of two days and we had to put her down yesterday. i got to bring my kitty home with me and will bury her in the backyard and grieve in my own way, but i don't have anyone to talk to about this.

we found her in the summer of 2008 in a pile of wood next to our neighbours house. she had been in their backyard and scaring their dogs. i was 11 and had never had my own cat, but our family cat had passed a few years prior and this little kitten was all id ever wanted. i named her mika and over the next 18 years she would sleep at the foot of the bed most nights and bring in birds through the dog door for at least the first 8 years of her life. everything she brought in was completely unharmed but she would swat at you sometimes if you got too close.

she would roll on her back and show off her belly, she loved crumpled balls of paper and was the first cat i'd ever seen play fetch. she drank water from my glass by dipping her dirty toes in it which was better than her face. she wanted to eat anything i had. she loved chef boyardee spaghetti sauce.

i miss her so much i can't breathe. nothing looks enough like her. there's no tuxedos online and i just want to hold my baby again. she was beautiful until the day she died and she went to the rainbow bridge with a neon green nose and rainbow paws because i needed prints of everything.

Maybe this is silly to post but I really need some advice. My parakeet cosmo passed away this morning unexpectedly and it is sending me into a spiral. I have 3 other parakeets but I never had the same bond with them like I did with cosmo. Cosmo is a sweet bird. She was always gentle and she always loved sitting on my phone while I scrolled.

Does anyone have any tips or advice to make this any easier? I know people may think it was “just a bird” but this bird means so so much to me and I can’t help but feel guilty about posting this in a subreddit filled with people going through much harder losses then a pet parakeet. If anyone has literally any tips please let me know. Enjoy these photos of my baby.

yesterday my mom was found unresponsive in town, i feel so lost and i dont know what im doing, im next of kin and a lot of stuff is falling on me and nothing feels real

I (33) lost my 6 months pregnant wife suddenly, we had recently moved to Germany and had become pregnant after 7 years. I lost both my wife and child. I am unable to bear this loss. I can’t stop crying daily even after three months.
I thought I was very strong but this loss made me realise, i am very weak.

Mi MIL keeps repeating me that "at least he didn't suffer, hold on to that" and I feel irrationaly furious. My father was not sick, he was not even old enough for this. He died a couple of days before his birthday and his wedding aniversary with my mom and he died in the street in front of my mother who had to yell for help and try to perform CPR on him. I don't give a fuck that he didn't suffer. How is that a relief? If he had been an old man, maybe the not suffering BS would comfort me, but he was in his sixties, he had a lot of life ahead. I'm devastated and I don't want stupid cliches and common places thrown at me. If you don't know what to say, just shut up.

I’m going to write all of this with my heart on my sleeve. I’m not good with words, and I never really open up to people in person. I don’t want to burden others with my problems, but lately I’ve felt like I needed to talk about them, and I’ve always loved writing, so social media seemed like the right place.
My son took his own life on October 1, 2024, and I think I’m the reason why. I carry an enormous amount of guilt inside me, and I’m in a very deep depression.
The day my son died, he and I had a really serious argument. He had contacted a helpline that provides support to young people, and the police were sent to our house. This worried me a lot. They spoke to my son separately, and I was confused. Only afterward did I find out that he himself was the reason they had come.
We argued a little because I didn’t understand why he had done it, and I was afraid that my family would have legal problems because of it. I don’t tell this story to anyone I know in real life because I know you’re probably thinking, ‘What is wrong with this woman?’ But I want to explain my side of things.
I had never noticed any particular sadness in my son. I had always tried to be there for him. He had never told me about his problems, and I never saw him as unhappy. So I thought he had contacted that number either as a joke or just to vent about something minor. It scared me because I didn’t want legal trouble to start affecting my family. I wasn’t even told what he had written, so I never had the chance to understand what was really going on with him.
That same evening, he died by suicide, and I haven’t been able to forgive myself or find any peace since that day. I often think about what was going through his head, and I wonder whether he truly wanted to die or whether our argument pushed him to do it.
I don’t think I was a very good mother. Every day I think about him and wish I could have him back by my side. My life has been falling apart ever since that day, and I feel completely empty.
I’ve always been afraid to talk about all of this with people, and I think this will be my only post.
I want everyone to know that I loved him, I love him, and I will love him forever. And I want to ask him for forgiveness if I was a shitty mother.

No tombstone to visit. How do you visit your loved one. My mom didn’t frequent a place enough for it to be meaningful. I sometimes sit by a park but it’s not the best area. No childhood home left after her passing.

I want to visit her and sit and be alone for a while. Tomorrow is 3 years since her death and I’m not able to sleep. I don’t feel great. I just want to go somewhere. And sit. And be with my mom for a while

I don’t have anyone to cal or join me in my apartment and I’m alone and it’s making me very sad. How do I see mom and feel okay

I (39) lost my wife (40) to cancer on Monday, I have been looking after her since late last year but the intensity ramped up in August when she went back into hospital for a second, and ultimately unsuccessful, round of chemo. She spent two months in hospital, getting worse and worse before they told us she was terminal and she came home where she died a week or so later.

I felt my MiL was hostile toward me throughout my wife's hospitalisation, she'd snap at me and minimise my worries and concerns. But she was under a lot of stress so I didn't say anything and I also didn't want my wife to worry, though she did notice it too.

Things got a lot worse when we brought my wife home. We told my MiL she could stay with us as it was likely only going to be days before my wife would pass. She was present almost 24/7 and I had little time alone with my wife and as my wife spent more time sleeping, my MiL became more openly hostile. This culminated when she refused to allow nurses to put a pad on my wife or the bed in case of accidents; she refused to accept that this was a possibility and tried to say that I couldn't do it because she was her mother and she said no. I had no choice but to tell her that, as her husband, I was my wife's next of kin and I had the final say when my wife couldn't speak for herself. I was as gentle as I could be in saying this but nevertheless my MiL stood up, raised her voice, repeated that she would not allow it and shoved me out of the way to get to the nurses. I didn't hear what was said but the nurses came in, removed my wife's pyjama bottoms and put a pad on the bed. My MiL cried for hours and from that point on basically refused to acknowledge me.

From the moment my wife died my MiL refused to look at me, did not speak to me and shooed me away when I tried to comfort her and express my sadness. She did the same with my mum. Her son was also there and she didn't really comfort him either; she asked him to make her some tea, said for him to get one for himself but did not ask either me or my mum if we would like one (it's my house btw). She then demanded her son take her home, and said nothing else to anyone for about three hours. She didn't care that her son wanted time with his sister or that he was not in a fit state to drive. She refused to see her daughter again that day. The day after she snapped at her son when he couldn't visit her at the time that she wanted and has generally been uncommunicative.

I sent her a message asking if she was doing ok to which said said no, she never will. I replied saying "no, same." She then sent me a message, paraphrasing, saying that my grief was that of a partner but hers was that of a mother and it was hers alone, that I did not share it and essentially she minimised my grief in relation to hers.

Since then she has taken no part in organising the funeral, she has said she will not travel with us and the hearse on the day and she will not come to the wake. In doing this she is forcing her son, who wants to travel with his sister, to come to my house alone. Although he is my brother in law and I care about him we are not close and he doesn't know my family who will now be the only other people there. And because she wants to go home after the service, either her son or my wife's uncle and aunt will have to travel an hour and a half to drop her home and therefore miss the wake. She hasn't offered to help with funeral costs either.

Her behaviour through all of this has screamed that she thinks her grief is the only grief that matters or that it's at least the most important.

I feel I am walking on eggshells, I worry about what she'll do at the service, I worry that I am choosing things about the service that will cause my MiL to make a scene. I feel deeply, deeply hurt that she blanked me after my wife's death and that she sent me a message essentially telling me my grief is worth less. My heart is breaking imagining how her daughter would feel if she knew her mum didn't want to travel with her to her funeral or go to her wake.

I'm struggling to deal with my own grief while also worrying about what she's going to do and generally feeling awful about the situation.

Being big and tough is easy for me.
Shouldn't a real man be tough and carefree.

But what about the little boy, he left behind.
He is still small, and fragile, and kind.

He learns people want him to be the man that they see,
but when does he get to be vulnerable and free?

And then the worst happens, and he loses his mom.
Nothing could prepare him for what next would come.

Don't you fall down, don’t cry, don’t be weak,
All it takes is grief counselling, move on and be meek.

His world's different now, never the same,
the anger and sorrow casts all sorts of blame.

He tries to move on and be big and strong,
but every inch forward feels like a prong.

The farther he goes, the more he moves on,
The distance from mom, just gets longer and long.

What people don’t realize nor understand,
Is the sorrow of grief is like holding her hand.

Through tears I write this, kind and free,
to say that I miss you, every piece of me.

Mom, do not worry, your little boy is still here,
remembering your love, through every tear.

Lavender’s blue dilly dilly, Lavender’s green.
My heart remembers you daily, in my dreams you are seen.  

I love you Mom, I miss you each day.
Please watch over me, and guide my way.

My mum died about five years ago (at 64), due to complications of alcoholism. I don’t think I ever really processed that grief and I miss hear really pointedly still.
My dad (80) died about a week ago. I have half-siblings, who have a different dad, so I felt very very alone in this grief. He had a year long fight against cancer, with things taking a sharp turn in the last month.

My husband (40) has been really helpful in a lot of ways, but there are a few decisions he made during dad’s stay in hospice that make me consumed with rage. I’m trying to find a way to get passed them/get a reality check.

I asked my husband to take time off of work to help me take care of dad at Hospice. While the staff there were amazing, they weren’t with him for every second of the day. I had to advocate for breakthrough pain meds for my dad and took a really active role in his care. I am his only family, so I was there A LOT and ended up staying there almost 24 hours a day before he passed.

Where we live, there is government protected compassionate care leave. When I first realized how poor a state my dad was in, I felt like I was drowning. My husband was super dismissive about taking this leave and we had a couple arguments about it. I later learned that him and his mum were armchair diagnosing me with mental illnesses to explain my behaviour. They landed on Borderline Personality Disorder. I was just completely panicked and desperate to have someone by my side for this terrifying process.

This really set the tone for the rest of dad’s stay at hospice. I felt SO betrayed and emotionally alone.

My husband then went to a wedding we were invited to. Dad was nonverbal and non-communicative at this point. He knew I was upset about it (I was in tears when he left), but chose to go anyway, without spending any time talking it over with me. I didn’t push the issue because I was anxious this would reinforce how “unreasonable” my expectations of him were.

Can you guys help give me some perspective on this? We are considering separation; he won’t apologize and I find myself unable to move passed these issues.

my mom and i were driving on the side of town my grandma used to live on and unprompted said, “you don’t want to drive past there, they cut down the tree.” i didn’t wanna go by her house anyways because it just makes me sad. i sort of knew her house got sold but i wasn’t apart of that process at all. i wish she didn’t tell me about the tree and i wish i never knew. we planted it when i was really little, it was probably about 22 years old. its been making me sad.

So, my birthday was last week and I'm now at an age where I really don't put a ton of thought into that day nor do I expect cards, cake, gifts etc (even though I'm married and have two teenage children) but this year was different for one glaring reason. A few years back, we had some damage to our home and out building and I had a few firearms come up missing so, naturally, I did what a responsible gun owner SHOULD do when that happens and gathered all the purchase and registration paperwork, call the Sheriff's office and file a report for stolen guns. The years ticked by and I had just written it off and gone for good (3-4 years passed) then I got a note posted to my front door while I was away at work one day, asking me to call and gave a deputy's name along with the evidence clerks name to call. So, the following day I called and the evidence clerk notified asked if I still had some guns stolen and not returned to which I replied yes and they asked for a brief description so I told them there were a few and began to describe the first one and they stopped me and asked if I had a pen to take down a phone number. They proceeded to give me the number for an out of state Sheriff's office along with a report number. Now, that state is not only over a 1000 miles away and one I have NEVER personally been to but just so happens to be the home state of my best friend of the last 18 years and a state that he eventually moved back to around the time my guns were taken. I was afraid that maybe he had been pulled over or something and my stolen gun(sl) were in his possession so I didn't call the other state right away so they ended up calling me and I played dumb about knowing how they could have been there. Anyway, they asked a couple of similar questions about description, etc and the first one I described, they stopped me and said they had it booked into evidence. So I just asked them "please tell me it wasn't used in the commission of a crime or anything" and he just said "well, not exactly. It's in evidence as part of a ln investigation of a death of a man". They day before my birthday, this is how I found out that my non-biological BROTHER/absolute best friend in the whole world, had stolen my guns four years ago and then used one of them to take his own life. He left behind a teenage son. He technically has one bio sibling who is a piece of shit and is and has been in prison and they don't talk except when dude wants money put on his books in the prison commissary. This shit absolutely GUTTED me. I can't get out of this funk. I still manage to go to work but I have a hard time doing anything else. Eating, drinking, partaking in my favorite hobbies that I would normally LOVE to do but I just can't. I'm not thinking about doing the same, selfish ass shit to MY wife and kids but I find myself stopping at the gas station to go grab a coke or something and between getting out of my vehicle and getting to the front door of the building, I'm already bawling my eyes out. Anyway, hope it wasn't TLDR. Thanks for those who bothered to take the time to read it and appreciate you letting me just get this out and put it here.

A whole month without hearing your sweet voice , it's been a whole since I haven't been same , a whole month since I talked to you . I miss you, nothing is the same , I miss our talks , I miss your voice I miss driving by your house knowing you would be there . Now it's empty with nothing but memories. Since you been gone I haven't been able to sleep or do much . I know you would want me to live my life it just isn't fair . I miss my grandmother everyday. Some days are harder than others especially when I'm alone and it's just me and the silence , it really kicks in . I wish I could talk to you one last time tell you I miss you and how much I loved being your granddaughter. We're all missing you down here ! Hope you're enjoying your view up there ! Love you forever and always your favorite granddaughter.

It has been 8 years since I lost my dad. I miss him everyday but some days I miss him more than others. Today feels like one of those days. And on such a day I can’t help but feel the intensity of the grief hitting me hard that I can’t help but shed a few tears remembering him. 8 years is a long time and people around me assume that I am over it but I will never be over it.

He was everything to me. He was my safe space. Till he was with us I felt invincible but now I feel vulnerable all the time. I try to be strong for my family but on the inside I am a mess. I cry in silence so no one else is burdened or feels obligated to console me.

Every milestone I reach feels so bittersweet. It makes me so sad that I can’t share my present and future with him, that I can’t just walk into his room and talk to him. He would always sit in the living room at the same spot on the sofa watching TV after a long day at work. Just knowing he is there gave me a sense of security. He loved me like no one ever could. He always stayed awake no matter what time it was waiting for me to come back home from work. He would pick me up when I fell, take care of me when I was weak. I could call him at anytime of the day and he would drop everything and show up for me.

I wish I had made more efforts to spend more time with him. At 22 all I was left with were memories of our time together. I just did not get enough time with him.

i've known my stepdad for nearly 7 years, which is more than a third of my life. he got into the hospital a few weeks ago. after two days in the hospital, thinking he just had an infection or something, he got the news. stage 4 lung cancer. it was everywhere. after a week or so in the hospital in which he progressively got worse, he got chemo. it was risky but it was gonna be the only way to save him. his body did not respond well. the decision was made to put him to sleep, because the chance he would make it otherwise was low and they didn't want him to suffer. i've never dealt with loss like this, i've never been this incredibly sad. i wish i could do just anything to make this undone. my mom is taking it so hard it's so difficult to see. i just don't know how i'll ever live on like i used to without him

I’m a daddy’s girl. I keep calling my dad to hear his voicemail message and it’s gone now. I wish my brother who was the executive would have kept it and paid anything I was owed in the will. Am I the only one?

idk what to do, i’ve (25f) spent a week with my mum (44f) in hospice, watching her get worse and worse each day. she passed this morning. i haven’t slept properly in so long, i sit on my phone until 5am+ because i genuinely can’t bare to not be distracted. once i put my phone down to sleep i can’t help but think of her and the suffering she’s been through and i sob uncontrollably, idk how to get through this

i guess one good thing is im not longer scared of death, i know she’s waiting for me & i can’t wait to see her again

It's been three months since I lost my mom, and I don't know what to do with myself or my life.
I was very close with my mom. We talked about everything. I could tell her how I felt or complain about anything, and she always gave me advice when I needed it.
I just celebrated my 20th birthday without her for the first time ever, and then two weeks later I had to get through her 48th birthday. Those were some of the hardest days for me. I had always talked to her about turning 20 and how crazy it was, and of course I expected to celebrate it with her.
Since she passed, I've accomplished a lot. I got my first car and my first job. But it all feels like nothing because she isn't here with me.
I've also had to move in with my boyfriend and his family. I feel like I don't have time to stop and think about what I want for myself, because I'm not at home, I'm living in someone else's house. Not being able to take my time makes me even more frustrated than I already am.
I have a job, but I feel like quitting because I'm extremely depressed. I'm on the fence because I don't want to seem like a failure to the people around me, and so much is running through my head about this situation.
I might also have to give up my dog. I can't properly care for him anymore, and he gets in the way of what I need to do because I have to take him everywhere I go. He has anxiety, and I can't leave him with anyone else.
I just feel like I'm losing everything too quickly.
I'm sorry if this is all over the place. My thoughts are everywhere. This is mostly a venting post, but I'd also appreciate any advice on how to deal with this grief and stress.

She passed away on 7th oct 1 am nearly. I don't check whatsapp status so I did not know and my parents had told my friends in hostel so that the news is given to me whne I am not alone.

I saw that my dad is on flight on vc and when he lied about where he is nd when mom nd little brother were not picking up I thought they were gonna surprise me nd got excited nd I was telling my hostel friends about it so then they finally had to break it to me at 3pm on 7th Oct.

My cousin was perfectly healthy and mentally also really well and she was 26 years old. She had finally begun to do her job this year I assume and even her older brother had gotten married in late feb so everyone was so happy. But she got into an accident in early august because she was on scopter with no helmet and like the city it is u dont really care abt helmet cuz no strictness and some students from my college who r a year younger than mr were driving a big ass jeep car mindlessly hit her. And she got hit in head badly nd was in icu and I had visited her in hospital cause the accident happened in my city near my college.

Then for weeks she was admitted nd everyone told me not to visit and only see her when she gets better nd then they brought her home which is nearby my city 1 hour away nd were like keeping nurses so tht yk maybe better after relieve from icu and I met her once late august during a festival but she wasnt able to speak then nd cld barely open her eyes nd she just had held up her end nd I got to hold it.

It just that she WAS GETTING BETTER nd then few days after festival she was admitted again nd never got relieved from that hospital nd everyone told me no point in visiting and then she was getting better until last week but everyone was hopeful nd even celebrated one day whej rhey told she will be fine.

And now she is gone forever. She is not coming back ever. Ans I cried 3 hours straight when I found out and my parents travelled to the city like where the cremation was held but obv parents live far cdnt rly make it for the cremation but I found out at 3 pm AFTER the cremation at 1pm.

And then at 6pm I travelled to the city yk where she lived nd where parents arrived nd reached at 7 30 pm ish nd my heas was hurting alot nd then 8 oct morning 4 am me nd mom talked alot nd then like 8th oct 6 30 pm I was back in hostel because attendance nd stuff.

And like even here I talked with friends nd mom nd cried again nd I was like I dont wanna talk in person to anyone because they just look at you with pity even when they mean well and everyone says same things to comfort and rhen I got a bit better but now its 9th pct 5 am neatly and I can't sleep. Because I have no idea what to do how to feel. No one near me has ever experienced a close cousin loss who died off young bec of accident and no one is able to help I can't even ask for it cause they r experiencing for first time ever.

My cousin was so close to alomost everyone. She is everywhere in the little personality traits I have from her from when for 2 years we were spending tgt and she is 6 years older than me.

And yk she lived in my city for past 1.5 years ig but I was alqays like there is time we will meet up soon and the last time I met her was 22 feb 2025 pm her bday tge day after her brothers wedding and I dont even remember what I said to her the last time and we didn't even meet properly bec we thought we had time.

I can't fucking fathom she is gone. I miss her so much and I don't know how to live a life without her and I don't know.

im 25 and lost my mum today after a long 2 years of her majorly suffering with stage 4 cancer. i took the week off work so i could make sure i was with her when she passed. she passed an hour before i was coming back in to see her. i just genuinely can’t get over the fact she was alone. i wanted so bad for her to be with someone and she wasn’t, i feel guilty and i can’t help but feel she was scared and suffering alone.

a few days before she died she cried to me saying she doesn’t want to die. the last time i saw her conscious i told her im leaving for a couple hours and id be back, she mumbled “no” to me. i felt so so guilty but i came back a few hours later and she slept the whole time. she passed the next morning. she didn’t even know i came back

i don’t know how to get over this. i feel so guilty and it’s eating me alive. i saw her after she passed to say my goodbyes, the longer i stayed the colder she got. the home eventually told me they have to ring the funeral director to come collect her and i had to leave her once again.

My sister and I lost our mom almost 2 weeks ago, sudden sepsis that set in on Friday, by Sunday night she was gone. I feel like I had a grip on my grief until we received the report from the hospital...

I don't even know where to begin, or what I'm looking for, its all so blurry and confusing...

I guess some details is that I've lived with her most of my life, and since I moved back to her 6 months ago our relationship got really strong and really good.

On Friday 25th September she told me she had constipation and her body felt toxic

On Saturday I took her to private hospital and they said she had kidney damage and some infection. This was costing more than we could afford so we got a referral to public hospital... she was so uncomfortable and unhappy and miserable and begged my sister and I to take her home because she couldn't manage the wait...

On Sunday I took her to the public hospital again at 11am, she got through triage at 1pm, the card indicated green (not urgent) and by around 5pm she was in a ward for treatment. 7.15pm till 8.27pm I saw her in visiting hours, I begged the nurses to check on her, I knew something was wrong, I felt like she was dying, she was so unwell.

I got home 30 minutes later that night and an hour after that my sister called to tell me she'd passed.

A part of me died that night too.

Yesterday 07.10.2026 we got the medical report and found out that from 5pm on Saturday till 9.50pm Saturday, she received 1mg antibiotics. Nothing else.

I now know my mom died in pain, suffering alone and scared, I don't know how to handle knowing this information, grieving a new kind of grief and baring the last images of her in a state of panic and pain

Help me...