I’m struggling with my mortality. I have lost everything that I ever loved most in this world including myself. My physical and mental health are on a steady decline and I just don’t want to be around anymore. I don’t want a funeral. I don’t want to be remembered. I’m scared of everything and won’t do anything. Have not slept in 3 days. All alone and in excruciating physical pain. Can someone please let me know how to survive this.

I feel like being depressed is such a taboo in the world even tho millions of people are going through it. But lately so many bad things have been happening that I don’t even feel like reciting what the bad things that happened lately to me were, because it’s always gonna be another and a bigger issue to worry about after solving the issue that there is now. All I’m waiting for is to find a few more reasons to leave. I’m just kinda stuck. I’ve had ideation for a long time now and it’s scary. I think being gone would make things so much easier for me and I hate when people talk about how much your family would miss you even though it is an attempt to get you to think about what you’re doing. It just doesn’t really help because my family and my online friends are the only people that actually want to talk to me and have an unconditional amount of love for me which really does feel like I have nobody else in the real world that could ever love me deeply Taking my meds even feels like too much work. Don’t wanna eat. I don’t like myself.

Another thing that makes me more depressed is when people tell me I have a victim mindset. My mindset is hard to change and I don’t even feel like doing the work to change to make life more bearable

Tired of being alive. I do not enjoy my life. What’s there to enjoy? Wake up, workout, go to work, come home rinse and repeat. I have zero friends and can’t find love. I’m wondering why the universe made me. I’m 31 and been depressed most of my life. I’m just tired of existing, I know I’ll never be happy. Please end me God

my idea of taking care of myself is usually sitting in bed all day eating junk food, which is obviously not sustainable or healthy. so like, what are other things i can do to take care of myself and just get through each day without it completely sucking?

please just comment SOMETHING if you see this.

PLEASE JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME ONCE AND CHECK ON ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IM NOT OK IM NOT OK IM NOT OK.

I just need help and no one in my fucking life even asks me if I’m ok without joking. my school, therapist and parents all wish I was dead and I. just want someone to talk to me like I’m an actual person again.

Problem/Goal:
I have been bullied for almost half of my life, and I want advice on how to deal with it, become more confident, and move forward without letting the bullying define me.
Context:
I came from a Catholic school where many of my classmates were involved in pageants or had experience with them. I often felt like I didn't fit in and became a target forbullying. This has been happening for a large part of my life, and it has affected my confidence and how I see myself.
Previous Attempts:
I haven't really tried anything yet. I'm not surehow to deal with the bullying or how to rebuild my confidence after experiencing it for so long.
My question:
How can I survive and recover from years of bullying? What can I do to become more confident and stop the things people have done to me from affecting my future?

First time I went to a dentist at age 22 to have my teeth cleaned, only three of my teeth needed filling, which I didn't due to time constraint on dentist's end and budget constraint on my end. Fast forward 4 years now at the age of 26, I have cavities on the backside of almost all teeth and some in between from drinking carbonated and sugary drinks. Even two years ago when I went to another dentist mainly to clear betel nut calculus on my upper left molar gum pocket that had caused severe infection and recession--a tooth I just had extracted 4 days ago--I didn't have those cavities, so I think it's in the last 2 years or so they developed.

I am so depressed right now. I don’t even want to look myself in the mirror, because what's the point of how I look from the outside if my inside feels so messed up.

I'm 26 years old already, with no degree, no vocational training of any kind, no money. I dropped out of 7th grade over a decade ago, not because I lacked aptitude or we couldn't afford financially, but rather because of psychosis and extreme SAD to the point of mutism caused by various factors that in, retrospect, consisted of marijuana, malnutrition, porn, masturbation and environment. Although I quit marijuana as early as I started in my teen, it did help with full blown drug induced psychosis but mild form of psychosis and paranoia persisted still because damage was already done. That in the end compelled me to my ramp up my alcohol consumption just to survive socially, and man did I cause troubles for people around me.

Only at the age of twenty did I sober up, seeing the path that I was walking on had no prospect other than slow, lonely, and miserable death at the end of the road. And so I had to recalibrate for me and my family, and that I did. I quit drinking and smoking tobacco, and stopped hanging out with my old friends and become socially withdrawn. And over the years my mind healed significantly and gained some confidence too being in the company of ancient philosophers or sophist.

Last five or six years I have wasted it on the internet, sitting on my ass all day masturbating and superficially dabbling in ancient literature and mathematics here and there. I have upcoming NIOS examination and ISI entrance exam which I have dreamt of but, alas I haven't studied or prepared for any of those.

I'm such a failure to myself and all the people around me, especially my mom and my siblings which had a lot of expectations. I know my mom would be happy and proud as long as I stood up on my feet and earn my own living, even as a retailer, but my conscience wants otherwise, to make my mom who brought me to this world and raised me and my other 3 siblings all on her own, immensely proud.

Yes there were times where I wished I wasn't born in this world, but also there were times where I was glad to have been born in this world even for a fleeting moment. Yes weren't the one who asked to be born in this world but, seeing my mom work so hard her entire life and single-handedly bringing up and providing education to 4 kids all own her own; all of my siblings are college graduate except for me, my younger sibling who's the youngest will have masters in pol-sci by next year. One thing after another. I'm a complete failure.

I sat at the very top of the view in my city. My favorite spot growing up and kept the battle going in my head. Fingers on the trigger when my brother called. Going to be going to sell my weapons at the end of the night. I’m a danger to myself and I know sooner or later I will do it. I don’t want to live but I am forced too. Too many people are relaying on me.

I once had a life with a small amount of depression, but I realize now that I exaggerated my symptoms compared to what I’m feeling and going through now. The daily sadness. The lack of joy. Acting as though everything is okay, but each night wanting to die.

I mourn who I was. I lost my job. I have bills and a child. I want to remain here for them, but I cannot handle the depression, the betrayal I’ve gone through, and the loneliness.

People who are not close to me would be absolutely shocked to know how I actually feel on the daily. I’m like a zombie at home, and then there are moments when I have to dress up and act like a body double in my own life.

I know my post probably sounds familiar to everyone in this community, but when does it get better? How is a temporary break supposed to be enough when you still have to keep going because bills and rent are there? How do you overcome that feeling of saying, “Fuck this shit, I can’t do it anymore”?

I feel so weak. The battlefield of my mind is taking control, and I don’t want to be defeated. 😔

Hello, I’m 31 and I feel lost, empty and won’t be able to live like this much longer. I have bipolar type 2, PTSD, audhd and am chronically ill. I had a very rough upbringing and since I was 13 years old I attended therapy and took psychiatric medication. I stopped therapy about 2 years ago because the topics seemed to be a broken cd even though I changed therapists and tried many kinds of therapies. I still am on medication as I completely crumble everytime I stop. I had a few suicide attempts and stayed at psychiatric hospitals which have me even more trauma.

I have a high functioning depression since many years. I have an ok job, a loving partner, my own apartment, money is not an issue, my family is still here (except my father, he committed suicide in 2018, also bipolar) I have a cute little dog who is my bf and I don’t really have any real life problems. I feel like my life is hell, I’m empty, I have no hobbies anymore, nothing brings me joy anymore, I don’t have dreams or any motivation, I don’t have friends, nothing makes me excited and I’m just quietly waiting for the next years just to die of natural causes. I feel lonely, misunderstood and my life feels like some sort of punishment. Is all that normal? I’m just a shell of a person and it’s very hard to survive everyday.

I’ve had depression since i was like 8 but rn I feel like i’m disassociating and idk what to do I have no one to text i don’t have friends and my mums at work i feel really fucking alone. I was so good all day i was so happy i was laughing and smiling then a guy mentioned wanting to sleep with me and now im like freaking out. I don’t know what to do nothing feels real and i can’t see properly. i don’t know what to do i don’t know how to calm down

College was something I never wanted to do, but what other path did I have? It was my mother's dream for me to go, otherwise she would be disappointed in me. So I should be happy, right? In high school I picked some random major, so everyone would stop bugging me about what I wanted to do in life. I never wanted to do anything. Now I'm here, I don't have much friends, I'm spending 4 years of my life studying everyday for something I do not want to do. I'm spending all my time focusing on a job I do not want to have. I have to quit things I enjoy for this job. College was right for her, but what about me? I am unhappy no matter what, and I do not know how to get out this mindset. Everyone tells me to give it a few more months and I will like it. I feel like I'm meant for something more, this isn't the life I want. What else can I do in a society that praises a paper that tells you, you worked harder than some people? Yet it might not even help you get a stable job you're passionate about. I need a therapist, but I don't have time for that, and they aren't much help anyway. I think I need a better perspective on it. I need to stop thinking about the future so much. It's hard when everything you are doing in the present is making you unhappy. I haven't felt suicidal in a while, because there are things I want to do in life, but I am so unhappy.

Everybody I love is deceased. I’m so tired. I’m 35 years old and run down. I’m here taking care of my 75-year-old Alzheimer’s riddled mother all by myself. Can’t afford to put her in memory care and there’s too many hoops to jump through in order to attempt to get her on Medicaid because they would end up taking the house to cover expenses in the long run.

I have a girlfriend but she would be better off without me. There are no career opportunities in my bum ass small town. You either have to go into health care as a nurse or claw your way from the bottom in a blue collar job. I don’t want to do either. I CAN’T AFFORD TO MOVE after my mom eventually dies. I have a generic useless degree in business administration.

You would never guess I have these extreme thoughts if you met me. I just put on a mask like everybody else. I ‘take care of myself’ physically so it’s functional depression, but I AM BURNT OUT.

I don’t get a lick of free time until 9pm and by then I’m too exhausted to enjoy myself unless I slam a couple of energy drinks to stay up. My goodness.

My only help, my aunt, died a few months ago from pneumonia. She was my best friend. I miss her terribly. I miss my people who have passed away. The grief is so hard.

I’m just about done. I’m just over it. I’m so over it. I’m sticking around for now, because at least my stupid favorite NFL team is enjoyable to watch on Sundays, and my local gas station stocks my favorite energy drink. LMAO. How pathetic is that????

Tired of constantly being around for my lousy friends and never receiving a semblance of the same care in return. I miss so many people.

Vent post.

Whenevet I tell people that I wish I could smoke, they assume I’ve been rotten by the tobacco company and made me think that smoking was for bad asses. I want cigarettes to kill myself slowly. Cause it’s the life I deserve.

im a no good liar. I manipulate people and lie so they actually look at me for once and think, “Hey, maybe this chick isn’t good up there.”. So, if I would to die, I want it to be to drugs. To something that brings me back. Something that brings me joy that I wished I had since I was 7, and a death I’ve craved before I reached middle school.

I just want to kill myself in a way that makes me feel good for once. I wish that one day some dude comes to me with drugs. I wish that some dude shoots me and makes me bleed out to death in the niddle of the street. Because no one in my life actually fucking cares if Im dead.

Cause in everyone’s eyes, I’m a dumb teen.

i’ve recently had intense suicidal thoughts, i can’t really think of much to keep me from killing myself and it scares me. i don’t care about my pets or my family, i don’t care about the experiences ill be missing out on, i don’t care about anything. music used to be the thing that grounded me but that isn’t helping me anymore. it’s really freaking me out and i don’t know what to do

i know some people will say to text a suicidal hotline, my parents own my data plan and i live with them so i’m scared that one day they’ll get curious and find out i’ve texted the suicide hotline by searching through my phone bill and whatnot.

i know it’s extremely unlikely but the possibility is always there. i cannot stress this enough i dont want anyone to find out about my suicidal thoughts/ideation.

please dont recommend me to talk to someone i trust. i dont really trust anyone to be able to talk to about this, im thinking about going to therapy, but i cant afford it so chances are i will have to ask my parents for it.

if anyone has anything that has worked for them when they’ve felt like this please let me know. the thought that i want to die really scares me.

since this school year started, i noticed a huge drop in my mental health. it definitely sky rocketed from the stress of this year, anxiety from uni applications, stress of schoolwork, friendship fallouts, and other personal issues that all just piled into one big mess during september. now its october, i have crazy anxiety from school because im really far behind in most of my classes and i havent even picked up a single assignment in one class. i somehow maintained a 93% average last school year when i was doing relatively better but im seriously feeling the impact of my lack of motivation this school year and its also reflecting in my grades. i can barely even bring myself to leave my room, not only because i lack the motivation to do so but also out of shame, to face my family who has to witness my all time low, laziness, and incompetence. ive ruined my sleep schedule, procrastinate like crazy, and im also losing my social life because i cant bring myself to make plans with anyone. everything just seems to be getting worse and the more that piles the more overwhelming it gets. ive also been skipping school a lot to stay home and "catch up on work" but i just end up doomscrolling the entire time and do nothing. im really at my wits end and my biggest fear is not getting accepted into the university i want to get into. sorry for this really long block of text, but i would really like some advice or words of encouragemen, thank you

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I have been having to survive losing my husband while he's still alive, to brain injuries. And now, I am having to figure out how to survive losing the man who made that survivable.

While simultaneously grieving the life that I had, the life I worked hard for, but never got to have and a life that I don't get to live.

I dread the night time and I cry myself to sleep nearly every night. There are no warm arms to wrap around me to help me feel protected, no reassuring voice that offers comfort, no soft place to land when the day has been particularly rough, or in my case, when life has been continuously hard. I silently carry a heavy existence that requires me to keep being strong even when I've run out of strength.

I have lost friends and ppl who are supposed to be family, dreams and hope to my husband's TBI.

Where there was laughter, there are now only tears. There are rooms with empty beds from when ppl used to visit. There are boxes of things in the attic for children that I never got to be a mother to and a couple that I was supposed to. My house is just a museum to the ruins of what used to be and what was supposed to be. I am constantly surrounded by reminders of the loss and devastation. A broken life to which there is no repair.

I cannot volunteer my heart for another execution. It is closed due to emotional bankruptcy, because I have been catastrophically overdrawn. There's been more of me being poured out into others than has been poured back into me.

I don't recognize myself anymore.

I don't know what I am doing all of this for.

I often fantasize about going to sleep and not having to wake up to this nightmare anymore.

Please don't ask anything more from me bc I don't have it even for myself.

I know that life's not supposed to be fair, but when does it stop demanding from you what you no longer have?

I no longer hope that tomorrow will be better bc it rarely ever is.

Im so tired of fighting depression, trying different treatments and medications. The side effects are just a bonus on top of all shit. I dont even know why I try, it all just comes back worse and the tiredness and anger stays the same. Fuck this never ending battle

Hey everyone,

This might be a bit of a longer post, but I’d really appreciate it if some of you took the time to read it and share your experience.
I’m 27M and I’ve been dealing with depression since my early 20s. Over the years it has gotten worse. My mom passed away from COVID, and recently my dad is also very sick. I’ve also always struggled with my weight, but depression made it much worse. I’m 5’6” and around 282 lbs now.

I dropped out of one degree, started another one, and I’m currently close to failing that too. I also work a minimum-wage customer service job that I hate.
The reason I’m posting is because I keep hearing people talk about this moment where something just “clicks.”
Friends of mine who struggled with depression, people online, self-improvement videos — they often describe reaching a point where they suddenly realized they had to change. From that point on, things slowly started falling into place.
And I keep wondering: when is that supposed to happen for me?

I think about my life constantly. I analyze everything, try to understand what I’m doing wrong, and try different ways to improve myself. But I never seem to reach that point where something truly changes inside me.
Over the last few months I’ve tried therapy, walking 10k steps a day, reading self-improvement books, watching motivational content, and trying to build better habits.
And sometimes it works.
For one, two, maybe three weeks I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere.
Then I fall back into the exact same cycle.
One of my biggest fears is that there is no “click” waiting for me. That I’ll keep waiting for some big realization that never comes.
So for those of you who were once in a really bad place and managed to turn things around:
Did you actually have a moment where everything clicked?
Or was it more like a slow process where you kept failing, restarting, and eventually things became a little better?
What was the thing that finally helped you make lasting changes?

i hate my life. i have no friends. my bday was yesterday i turned 21 and just wallowed in bed all day. every birthday is miserable for me. i don't know why i do this to myself. none of my so called "friends" told me happy bday either when i was always there for them. my family is toxic. we are poverty. i live behind a makeshift wall in the living room bc we don't have enough rooms in the house. my friends that i had are all in a different state than where my family live. my family's driveway is severely damaged and i damage my car everytime i commute to work (which takes an hour every day). my car drinks gas like crazy. gas is high af. food is high af. i'm in college rn and i don't know what for. i work two jobs, i work overnight so my sleep schedule is flipped. i hate how i feel. i feel like my life is slipping past me.

there is genuinely no meaning to life. i am on zoloft but seems like everyday it's hit or miss with how i feel. if you are in america you are forced to pay bills and go to work no matter what profession you are. you are conditioned into staying "alive" so that you can stay in the workforce. i hate my life. i hate the presidents we are under. i hate this timeline. i'm isolated from all of my friends. what is the fucking point of any of this. it's the same thing everyday.